Talk:Sallekhana/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Aircorn (talk · contribs) 01:50, 16 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Review

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

I know nothing about this topic so I am reviewing this article as someone who is looking to learn about sallekhana with very little background. I see this was part reviewed and then the reviewer retired. They review a bit differently than me in as much as I don't demand changes. I think of them more as suggestions and am willing to be convinced that the way you have it currently formed is the correct way. You know more about the topic than me afterall. Anyway reading through the previous part review I think most points are addressed or are not a major concern to me (some were useful though and I have raised some similar concerns below). There are also some comments by Nizil Shah on the talk page below this review. Some mirror ones I was already thinking and I think they should be at least responded to as part of this review.

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
Made some minor changes as I read the article. Overall I thought it was nicely written. I went from knowing nothing to having a good idea on what sallekhana involves. Have left some specific comments below regarding some wording and sentences. I thought the lead was great as an explanation, but the overview was not really adequate. That is probably my main gripe with this criteria.
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
Sources generally look good. Very well organised. Found [1] which may be of some use if you want to use it. Overall the quality looks good.
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
Definitely focused, but felt it was lacking a bit more on the history of the vow. What lead to the vows being used? Who started the practice (was it Chandragupta Maurya - this is not really made clear)? Were there any developments along the way. It appears to be a very old practise so I would be surprised if there wasn't more information about its historical development.
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
Just share the concern about the suicide section. Comparisons with suicide is almost entirely about how it is not. It needs some info about why it is sometimes compared to suicide for context at least. Don't need much and am more than happy to keep the majority on why it is not.
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
A over year old discussion regarding suicide in the lead, which was resolved to consensus. Nothing stands out in the edit history.
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Imagaes are good. The Ratna Karanda Sravakachara text is hard to read at that size so not sure how useful it is (you can click on it to enlarge it so it does have vale). All images seem to be correctly licensed.
Overall:
Pass/Fail:
A few little things to discuss, but quite enjoyed reading this article.

General Comments

I am a bit unsure of the guide you are following when italicising sallekhana. Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't. Same with capitalising the s. Done now consistently Sallekhana.
The overview did not really explain what sallenkhana is. It says to thin out, but does not explain what this means. ----rewrote lead Done
The Doddahundi nishidhi inscription, a hero stone from Doddahundi, 18 km from Tirumakudalu Narasipura in the Mysore district, Karnataka state, India. Is this sentence incomplete. --- Rewriting Done
In both the writings of Jain Agamas and the general views of many followers of Jainism, due to the degree of self-actualisation and spiritual strength required by those who undertake the ritual, sallekhana is considered to be a display of utmost piety, purification and expiation almost an exact repetition. --- moved and removed repeatation. Done
Death is for compunds whose dissolution is termed Is compunds a typo. It is a quote so if it is present as such in the quote it should stay, but needs a [sic] so the readers know Done
Too much WP:proseline in legality section --- I think it is solved but please check. --- Rewrote and merged section with Comparision with Suicide. Done
The petition extends to those who facilitate individuals taking the vow of with aiding and abetting an act of suicide. Is sallenkhana missing here. --- added Done
Clarification needed tag needs to be resolved. Done

Source check

Copyviochek using [2] revealed a few close matches. A closer look showed that this was de to the use of quotes or pretty common phrases so I am not concerned with this at all
Random source check
- 37 He died on 18 September 1955. Don't think the convenience link leads to the right place. Found it through google books and it supports that statement.
- 6 According to Jain texts, sallekhana leads to ahimsā (non-violence or non-injury), as a person observing sallekhana subjugates the passions, which are the root cause of hiṃsā (injury or violence) Can't read page (stopped at 115 typically) so assuming good faith
- 56 Silent march were carried out in various cities. Should be marches. Source supports statement
- 2 The vow of sallekhana is observed by the Jain ascetics and lay votaries at the end of their life by gradually reducing the intake of food and liquids Three cites for this statement. This one would probably is fine.
- 11 Jain ethical code also prescribes seven supplementary vows, which include three guņa vratas and four śikşā vratas Pretty similar, but with such a simple statement it would be hard not to.

Reply

I've tried and resolved them. Please have a relook and let me know what more need to be done. -- Pankaj Jain Capankajsmilyo (talk · contribs · count) 02:49, 21 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Obviously the article does not meet the stability criteria at the moment. Capankajsmilyo and ‎Nizil Shah, could one of you leave a note at my talk page when you have finished. I am taking it off my watchlist as it is drowning everything else out. AIRcorn (talk) 21:36, 21 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Sure. Once its done, we will inform you. Regards and thanks for drawing me here.--Nizil (talk) 11:19, 22 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Final comments

I think this is very close. Just a few points.

Made a few edits as I read. As always I will not take offense if these are reverted. Especially if they change the context or the point of what you are trying to say too much.
means 'to thin out', 'scoure out' or 'to slender' should that be "scour out"
Properly thinning out the passions and the body through gradually abstaining from food and drink is called Sallekhana. This got a little repetitive with the "this is called Sallenkhana", but I think is important to mention. How about "Properly thinning out the passions and the body is accomplished through gradually abstaining from food and drink".
History is much better, the explanation of what it is is clearer and I am happy with the suicide comparison. Flow could be improved, but it meets the 1a GA criteria as far as I am concerned. AIRcorn (talk) 07:02, 30 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Capankajsmilyo and Nizil Shah: AIRcorn (talk) 11:30, 3 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Done-- Pankaj Jain Capankajsmilyo (talk · contribs · count) 11:35, 3 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks all. Passing. AIRcorn (talk) 22:29, 3 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you, Aircorn. And thank you, Capankajsmilyo for nominating and helping me on every stage.--Nizil (talk) 12:32, 4 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks Aircorn and Nizil Shah for GA. -- Pankaj Jain Capankajsmilyo (talk · contribs · count) 12:34, 4 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]