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Talk:SS Edward L. Ryerson/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 20:50, 14 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]


Comments

  • Lead is far too long. It's almost the same size as the article! Two paragraphs maximum.
Done.
  • Year ranges in infobox should use en-dash, not hyphen.
Done.
  • Link "official number" or "registry number".
Done.
  • Did you link freighter to "lake freighter" in the other articles I reviewed?
The ships in those articles aren't lake freighters. Although they served on the great lakes, they didn't belong to that specific ship type.
  • What does "laid up" mean?
Done.
  • "Ever since" no need for Ever.
Done.
  • "Currently..." see WP:CURRENTLY.
  • "American owned" hyphenate.
Done.
  • No need for that ref at the end of the first para of the lead. Nothing else is referenced in the lead.
Done.
  • "design Edward L. Ryerson. The construction of Edward L. Ryerson" repetitive.
Done.
  • "April 20, 1959 in" comma after 1959.
Done.
  • "when keel was laid" her keel?
Done.
  • ""She was launched on January 21, 1960. She was named after the chairman of the board at Inland Steel between 1940 and 1953." maybe other way round, and merge such short sentences.
  • "record breaking" hyphenate.
Done.
  • "lakers" slang.
Done.
  • ""over 23,000 tons" convert.
To what? The rest of the weight measurements in the article do not apply here.
  • "on August 28, 1962 after" comma after year.
Done.
  • "25,018 tons"" convert.
To what?
  • "shipping seasons" I didn't know such a thing exists. Is that a Great Lakes thing?
It is the "shipping year". Links to freight transport and year.
  • "long term layup" long-term.
Done.
  • Obviously some of the above may not be relevant after the lead is reworked to be a more efficient summary of the article in general.
  • "Cleveland[7] to" just put the ref at the end of the sentence.
Done.
  • "beam[4] and " same.
Done.
  • "that same year" that was a long time ago you mentioned which year!
Done.
  • "cross-compound steam turbine, " turbines. And what's "cross-compound".
Link to specific steam turbine section.
  • "at the time the largest" at what time?
Done.
  • "spared no expense" too colloquial.
Done.
  • "... needed to be ... needed to be ..." repetitive.
Done.
  • ""the The Herald Times Reporter described" italics.
Done.
  • "in mind" not quite encyclopedic. Just "designed for" is fine.
Done.
  • "on August 6.[5][6][8][14][16] " really need five cites for that one sentence?
Done.
  • "tons (27,578 short tons; 25,018 t) tons" tons tons.
Done.
  • favourite vs rumor. Is this a Canadian English thing?
No. I think I got confused here.
  • "ever cargo of iron ore pellets ever' ever ever
Done.
  • "January 24, 1994 in" comma after 1994.
Done.
  • Link dry dock.
Done.
  • ""long term layup" long-term.
Done.
  • "December 7, 2000 and" comma after 2000.
Done.
  • Ref 9 should be pp. 163–171, not p. 163-171.
Done.
  • ISBNs should be consistently formatted.
Done.
  • "Telescope - Volume " en-dash not hyphen. Check other titles.
Done.

That's all I have in the first instance. On hold. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 13:54, 16 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@The Rambling Man: With the exception of the ton conversion, everything is done. GreatLakesShips (talk) 20:47, 17 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Don't you have " 26,055 long tons (29,182 short tons; 26,473 t)" in there? The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 20:50, 17 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Still a "currently" in the infobox. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 20:51, 17 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
@The Rambling Man: Done. GreatLakesShips (talk) 21:09, 17 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Ok, cool, good to go. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 21:13, 17 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
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