Talk:SOLRAD 2/GA1
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Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 17:23, 10 March 2019 (UTC)
- It states in the lead that "it shared satellite space with and provided cover for the second in the Navy's GRAB", but I don't see that repeated, and ideally clarified and expanded on, in the main article. Indeed I am left unclear as to just what equipment GRAB used; did it share with SOLRAD, or was it separate, etc.
- Fixed in Background and Spacecraft.
- The launch vehicle is referred to differently in the text and in the image caption.
- Clarified.
More to follow.
Gog the Mild (talk) 23:01, 10 March 2019 (UTC)
- "SOLRAD 2 was launched along with Transit 3A" In the lead, but not the main body. The relationship between Solrad, Grab and Transit needs explaining.
- Good catch.
- I have made some copy edits which you will want to check.
- All improvements.
- "SOLRAD 1 went into orbit on June 22, 1960, becoming both the world's first surveillance satellite (as GRAB-1)" Again the relationship between SOLRAD and GRAB is unclear. (To me.)
- Fixed.
- "S band electronic listening devices" Are detectors for S band emissions really referred to as listening devices?
- Sure are.
- "three more SOLRAD missions flew with GRAB's ELINT successor" "ELINT" comes out of nowhere. See MOS:ABBR "an acronym should be written out in full the first time it is used on a page, followed by the abbreviation in parentheses". Also, it needs Wikilinking.
- Got rid of ELINT. :) Replaced with signals intelligence with a wikilink in the first instance (in the header).
@Neopeius: I shall leave it at that for now. I will have a detailed read through once you have addressed these points. Gog the Mild (talk) 15:59, 16 March 2019 (UTC)
- Done! Thanks very much. I carried the lessons from this one to the others in the series. The virtues of modular writing. :) @Gog the Mild: --Neopeius (talk) 19:08, 16 March 2019 (UTC)
- Again I have made some edits which you will want to check.
- "The United States Navy's Naval Research Laboratory (NRL) established itself early in the Space Race with the development and management of Project Vanguard, America's first satellite program." To me this reads oddly. "established itself" seems to beg an 'as' after it.
- "After proving the concept of a satellite" I am not sure what this means; 'After proving that the concept of a satellite was practical' perhaps?
- "For this reason, the spacecraft carried a vacuum photocell to determine when the sun was striking the photometers and the angle at which sunlight hit them." I think that it might be helpful for the non-technical reader to add something like 'therefore enabling ...', even if it seems obvious to thee and me.
- The launch vehicle is (still) referred to differently in the lead and text than in the image caption.
@Neopeius: Looking good. A few more comments above. Gog the Mild (talk) 14:55, 17 March 2019 (UTC)
- @Gog the Mild: All addressed, thank you. :) --Neopeius (talk) 16:13, 17 March 2019 (UTC)
- A nice little article. Good work. Promoting now. Gog the Mild (talk) 16:20, 17 March 2019 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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