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Talk:São Tomé and Príncipe at the 2008 Summer Olympics

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GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:São Tomé and Príncipe at the 2008 Summer Olympics/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Dom497 (talk · contribs) 17:58, 30 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]


Will begin review.--Dom497 (talk) 17:58, 30 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

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  • Change the first sentence in the lead to include when the olympics were held. Also, change "sent a delegation" to "competed". This is just to keep consistency between other olympic articles I have reviewed in the past.
Huh, the first sentence says Beijing? And all the ones I've written say "sent a delegation" since we're writing about the team here (See rarities like Haiti at the 2016 Summer Paralympics for why I dislike the "competed" structure. Courcelles (talk)
@Courcelles: The article you linked to uses "competed". Regarding the date, take a look at an article like Haiti at the 2008 Summer Olympics.--Dom497 (talk) 18:55, 30 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Misread "when" as "where". Adding now. Courcelles (talk) 19:03, 30 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
And changed opening sentence. Courcelles (talk) 00:55, 1 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "USA" --> "United States"
Done. Courcelles (talk) 18:51, 30 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Mention the names of the competitors and their respective events in the lead.
  • All three? Okay, if you want. Courcelles (talk) 18:51, 30 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "None of the competitors made it to their event final." - You can also mention that one of the athletes Alcino was the only one to make it past the Heats.
Done. Courcelles (talk) 18:51, 30 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Background

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  • How did the athletes qualify for their respective events?
Who knows. With these smaller, and frankly, non-competitive countries it is usually through universality invitations, though such information has long since been lost to the corners of the Web -- coming back ten years later, most of the sources that might could have told us this are gone. Courcelles (talk) 18:55, 30 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Fair enough.--Dom497 (talk) 19:01, 30 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Athletics

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  • "Naiel Santiago D'Almeida was 21 years old at the time of the 2008 Olympics" - Was this Naiel's first time in the Olympics? (Same goes for Celma)
  • Yes, though adding that wording in it more difficult than I thought. Courcelles (talk) 19:00, 30 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "...of all the heat" --> "of all competitors" (I don't really like "competitors" either but I just think the word "heat" shouldn't be used due to repetition). Also, mention that as a result, he did not qualify for the next round.
  • Split Naiel and Celma into different paragraphs.
  • "...which was in 16th and last place of that race." - Split this into its own sentence and mention that as a result, she did not qualify for the next round.
  • For the "Key" table, only include the Keys that are actually used in the tables.

Canoeing

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  • Between the "Qualification Legend" and the "Key" table in the Athletics table, pick one format and use it for both (to keep consistency).
  • "On 18 August 2008 he took part in the Men's K-1 1,000 metres, he took part in the second of three heats" - Removing the duplicating "he took part".
  • "Only the top 7 of each heat was able to advance in the competition" --> "Only the top 7 of each heat were able to advance in the competition"
  • "The next day, 19 August" - Remove "19 August"
  • "1 minute, 58 seconds" --> "1 minute and 58 seconds"
  • "As the top 6 from each heat advanced to the semi-finals, this was good enough to qualify" --> "Being in the top 6 of his heat, Alcino advanced to the semi-finals."
  • Why is there a subsection (Sprint) for the table but the Athletics section does not have any subsections? I don't think the subsection is needed.

Overall good work! Just gotta polish off some edges. On hold for 7 days.--Dom497 (talk) 18:38, 30 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Courcelles: Almost everything looks good, just one more thing. In the "Canoeing" section, the key table says "Ranks given for track events are within the athlete's heat only". I don't think you mean to say "track events"?--Dom497 (talk) 01:19, 1 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
@Dom497:. Nope. Cut and paste fail. Fixed!Courcelles (talk) 01:21, 1 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
@Courcelles: Ok one more thing that I've been thinking about today. I don't thing, "Ranks given for track events are within the athlete's heat only" and "Ranks given for track events are within the athlete's heat only" should be included in the "Key" table (for both sets of tables) since the note is not really a "key". Perhaps moving the note to the bottom of the tables would fix this?--Dom497 (talk) 01:24, 1 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
@Dom497:. All I have tonight is a phone, and no way I’m trying that on a five inch screen. Courcelles (talk) 01:26, 1 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
@Dom497: Done}Courcelles (talk) 01:40, 1 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
@Courcelles: Lol editing on a phone does suck...but it looks like you managed it (will pass the article tomorrow)! ;P --Dom497 (talk) 01:44, 1 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
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