Talk:Roy Paul/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hahc21 (talk · contribs) 21:43, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

Review

Okay. I have read the article, and it is up to GA levels. I have no comments, as I have not found any issue. Great work. — ΛΧΣ21™ 23:05, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

Hmmm I guess I overlooked the article. I will re-read it again. I will slowly add comments ona regular basis for the next two days. — ΛΧΣ21™ 22:43, 22 November 2012 (UTC)

Update I had no internet connection since last thursday. I hope the service will be restored today. — ΛΧΣ21™ 14:44, 26 November 2012 (UTC)

Prose comments

Lead

• "Roy Paul (18 April 1920 – 21 May 2002) was a footballer who played..." nationality?

Early career

• "the fringes of the first team the league". A comma is missing after "team"
• "and so in 1940 volunteered for the Marines.". I guess it's better of written: "and volunteered for the Marines in 1940."
• The last sentence of the second paragraph is supporthed by which source?

(assuming you mean a cite for his debut, not WWII lasting 6 years ;-) ) This is surprisingly difficult to cite in a neat manner. The most authoritative sources for Football League appearance statistics come in two separate volumes. One covers the period up to when the League was suspended in 1939, the other the postwar era. Obviously he doesn't appear in the former, but citing the latter doesn't prove it was his debut. Most of the sources going into his career in depth imply it rather than explicitly stating it, as its obvious to a football-savvy reader. For instance saying his first appearance was in the wartime league, and then saying he made 160 postwar League appearances for Swansea. Oldelpaso (talk) 18:09, 23 November 2012 (UTC)

• It would be good to state that "Arsenal" is a club.
• Why "the London club" is not wikilinked?

Per WP:OVERLINK, one of the things listed under "What generally should not be linked" is "the names of major geographic features and locations". Oldelpaso (talk) 18:09, 23 November 2012 (UTC)

• "far in excess of the maximum wage in British football." This sentence is supported by ref 13 or 14?

James says "substantial compared to potential earnings in Britain". However, I figured a quantitative comparison would be better, so after some hunting I found a source with the figures for the maximum wage in British football. Oldelpaso (talk) 18:09, 23 November 2012 (UTC)

• "Paul found himself unimpressed by the conditions". Could you expand a bit on which were those conditions?

The book cited is unfortunately one added into the article by someone else, that I do not have access to. There's a little in his autobiography, I've added a brief quote. Oldelpaso (talk) 18:09, 23 November 2012 (UTC)

• " As a result he transferred to". A comma is missing after "result".