Talk:Rose Street Club/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Catrìona (talk · contribs) 22:41, 9 October 2018 (UTC)
I'll take a look at this article as well. Catrìona (talk) 22:41, 9 October 2018 (UTC)
Lede
[edit]Although the Club had originally been of a traditional radical political position—and, indeed, was in its earliest days of existence as interested in providing a social service to its members as a political or propaganda one—by the early 1880s, the arrival of the anarchist Johann Most to London, and his increasing influence within the Club, meant that it became increasingly aligned with his politics.
I don't really understand this sentence, recommend rwing and splitting.
- Yes, that was a bit of a mouthful wasn't it! How about—
The club, although radical, was in its earliest days of existence as much involved in providing a social service to its members as itw as politics. With the arrival of the anarchist Johann Most in London in the early 1880s, and his increasing influence within the Club, it became increasingly aligned with his personal, anarcharist, politics.
- Yes, that was a bit of a mouthful wasn't it! How about—
Background
[edit]and yet also combined with local culture and tradition
Sentence structure is awkward. Is it possible to elaborate on what the "local culture" was?
- Pre-existing clubs—rephrased as
yet blended into a local tradition of clublife
- Pre-existing clubs—rephrased as
skilled artisan workers
I recommend either skilled workers or artisans, but not a combination. If necessary, a construction such as "artisans (skilled workers)" could be employed.
- Well, since they're almost tautological, have struck "skilled2
The Clubs were primarily organised social networks hubs, but also played other roles, such as linking immigrant comrades of particular strains of thought with both others of a like mind and domestic English radicalism, all of whom met together beneath the clubs' rooves,
- Should "Clubs" be lowercase?
- Of course, yes, u/c for the individual clubs, l/c for clubs generally
- Suggest rewriting and splitting for comprehensibility
- Monster. Split into three, and also trimmed
However, it has been said, "their political ideals – the destruction of hierarchy, collective decision making, hostility to the state and capitalism, atheism and free love – did little to ingratiate them to Victorian England."
State who said it.
- One Jonathan Moses: named
The origins of the Rose Street Club lay in the German Anti-Socialist Laws of 1878, and, more broadly, the Paris Commune of 1871 and the collapse of the First International.
This assumes too much knowledge of historical background to be comprehensible to the ordinary reader.
- Tricky one hits; I've added a sentence about the general political malaise, but is that sufficient?
- Attribute quotes in-text. If you're only borrowing two or three words that are compatible with encyclopedic tone and NPOV, you should drop the quotation marks. For most purposes, it's better to paraphrase than to use a direct quote; see also WP:QUOTEFARM.
- Done. Also removed/rephrased some of them, cheers.
Origins, etc.
[edit]This political allegiance position was shared by the Whitechapel club, but not by that in Tottenham Street, which by 1880 had become an offshoot of the Rose Street Club for those members who leant towards Marxism rather than anarchism, which, under the leadership of Johann Most, Rose Street was realigning towards.
Awkward, recommend splitting and rephrasing.
- Indeed, split into three:
Freiheit's political stance was also shared by the Whitechapel Club, although not by the Tottenham Street Club. By 1880, the latter had become a centre for members of the Rose Street club for those members whose politics were closer to Marxism rather than anarchism, which the leadership of Johann Most was increasingly the direction Rose Street was moving to.
- Indeed, split into three:
although the IWA's activities were very little increased by these meetings.
unclear, and unclear relevance. Recommend cutting.
- Removed
Johann Most against his prosecution in April 1881
more details might be helpful here
- I've added what I've found, but again, details on how they actually defended him are unfortunately scarce
No details exist as to the precise memberships of the Rose Street Club
can you be more specific, for instance no membership list survives?
- Agree, done
The paper stated that the assassination was "the unavoidable result of English tyranny in Ireland".
My edit. Is this accurate, or was the paper quoting someone else?
- No, it was the editorial position; good edit
Commune survivor
I would use a different word than "survivor".
- Well, considering how many communards were shot...how about
In 1880, Louise Michel, a leading French anarchist who had fought with and lived through the Commune...
?- I guess that's reasonable. I wasn't familiar with the history of the Commune and I guess writing so much about the Holocaust has led me to be a bit sensitive about the misuse of the word "survivor". Anyway, looks like you've fixed everything, so I'll pass it. Catrìona (talk) 00:25, 13 October 2018 (UTC)
- Well, considering how many communards were shot...how about
- Cheers again Catrìona I think I've addressed your points here; let me no if further tweaks are necessary. ——SerialNumber54129 12:32, 12 October 2018 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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