Talk:Rockefeller Street/GA1
GA Review
[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: Skyshifter (talk · contribs) 00:11, 1 March 2024 (UTC)
As an osu! player, I can't lose this opportunity. Skyshiftertalk 00:11, 1 March 2024 (UTC)
General comments
[edit]- Images have a valid fair use rationale
- No copyvio
- I'm assuming Estonian sources such as Õhtuleht, Äripäev or Eesti Rahvusringhääling are reliable, as they seem to be big Estonian newspapers or organizations; same for other newspapers such as the German Süddeutsche Zeitung. However, there are sources such as Wiwibloggs (which our article describes as a "fan site") and ESCToday. How reliable are they? I've never edited about Eurovision, so they may be perfectly reliable, but as someone outside the topic, they do look a bit suspicious.
- When it comes to Eurovision-related articles, the fan sites are usually the ones that report about artists and their songs regularly. Various Eurovision-related articles that have achieved GA (for example, Alcohol You, Ktheju tokës, among others) use Eurovision fansites to source their info. I would say that the mainstream ones are reliable. Outlets such as Wiwibloggs, ESCUnited, and ESCToday fit into that category. There's a lot of fansites that exist; of course, you have to be careful when evaluating if you can use the source or not. But, I would say that sites like Wiwibloggs and ESC Today are reliable under previous examples of Eurovision-related GA articles.Cheers, and carpe diem! Nascar9919 (he/him • t • c) 05:43, 3 March 2024 (UTC)
Infobox
[edit]- "Europop" genre is not cited anywhere in the article; remove
Done. Cheers, and carpe diem! Nascar9919 (he/him • t • c) 05:43, 3 March 2024 (UTC)
Lead
[edit]- Described as an "up-tempo dance song" by ESCToday writer Marcus Klier - that's too specific for the lead and it is not mentioned anywhere in the body. You should move it to the first section of the article.
Done. Cheers, and carpe diem! Nascar9919 (he/him • t • c) 05:43, 3 March 2024 (UTC)
- and title song - I think this is redundant, as it's pretty clear the song and album are the same name; remove
Done. Cheers, and carpe diem! Nascar9919 (he/him • t • c) 05:43, 3 March 2024 (UTC)
- Critical response to the song was initially positive, with it considered to be a favorite to win the contest. However, the Eurovision performance itself mainly received negative reviews, with the performance seen as "cheap". This should be simplified to something like "While the song itself received positive reviews, the Eurovision performance was negatively received", or something like that. Only one source stated that the song was a favorite, and only another one said it was "cheap", which isn't enough to appear in the lead.
Done. Cheers, and carpe diem! Nascar9919 (he/him • t • c) 01:37, 5 March 2024 (UTC)
- The "favorite" thing should be removed. Apparently the only source that talks about it is Wiwibloggs regarding "betting odds". Other sources just say that the song would "do well". Skyshiftertalk 01:49, 5 March 2024 (UTC)
- Tweaked. Let me know if you want it changed. Cheers, and carpe diem! Nascar9919 (he/him • t • c) 03:10, 5 March 2024 (UTC)
- "Rockefeller Street" drew commercial success both in 2011 and later increased success throughout the late 2010s. Not cited in the article.
- Trimmed. Cheers, and carpe diem! Nascar9919 (he/him • t • c) 01:42, 5 March 2024 (UTC)
- Merge the last two paragraphs of the lead
Done. Cheers, and carpe diem! Nascar9919 (he/him • t • c) 01:37, 5 March 2024 (UTC)
Left another comment up there, but the lead seems good so far. I'll hopefully finish this in the next few days. Skyshiftertalk 01:49, 5 March 2024 (UTC)
Background and composition
[edit]- "Rockefeller Street" was both composed and lyrically made by Estonian songwriter Sven Lõhmus. Following what is written in {{Infobox song}} (i.e.), you can just say "Rockefeller Street" was written by Estonian songwriter Sven Lõhmus. Same for the lead, and use "writer=" in the infobox instead of composer= and lyricist=, since they are the same person.
Done. Cheers, and carpe diem! Nascar9919 (he/him • t • c) 02:18, 7 March 2024 (UTC)
- Lõhmus had previously written and composed per above, remove "and composed". You can also change "Lõhmus" to "He" to avoid unnecessary repetition
Done. Cheers, and carpe diem! Nascar9919 (he/him • t • c) 02:18, 7 March 2024 (UTC)
- In an interview with the Maltese Eurovision fan podcast Eurovision Radio International, she described For a second I thought this was Lõhmus. I think you mean Getter Jaani, but she still wasn't mentioned. Replace "she" with Getter Jaani (linked).
Done. Cheers, and carpe diem! Nascar9919 (he/him • t • c) 02:18, 7 March 2024 (UTC)
- In another interview, she said that on the street Too much "she" being used; can replace this one with Jaani. I also feel you're using "street" too much; maybe try "place" or something else.
- Tweaked to what I think is appropriate. Let me know if you think it should be tweaked further. Cheers, and carpe diem! Nascar9919 (he/him • t • c) 02:18, 7 March 2024 (UTC)
- The song was officially announced to compete in Eesti Laul 2011 what is Eesti Laul 2011? Add a small explanation and link Eesti Laul. "The song" can also be replaced with "Rockefeller Street" to avoid repetition.
Done. Cheers, and carpe diem! Nascar9919 (he/him • t • c) 02:18, 7 March 2024 (UTC)
- the song was not created
as a song madespecifically for the Eurovision Song Contest remove the stroked textDone. Cheers, and carpe diem! Nascar9919 (he/him • t • c) 02:18, 7 March 2024 (UTC)
- At the national final, it competed in the second semi-final on 12 February, advancing to the final on 19 February. This should be removed, as it's repeated information from the Eesti Laul 2011 section.
Done. Cheers, and carpe diem! Nascar9919 (he/him • t • c) 02:18, 7 March 2024 (UTC)
Critical reception
[edit]Again I'm not an expert in Eurovision articles. However, it seems that this section should be moved after the Eurovision Song Contest section, or some of its text should be moved. It is strange to present the reception of the Eurovision performance before content about the performance itself is shown in the article.
- Moved to where I think it's appropriate. Let me know if you think it should be moved elsewhere in the section. Cheers, and carpe diem! Nascar9919 (he/him • t • c) 02:18, 7 March 2024 (UTC)
Other comments
[edit]Hey, I'm back. I decided to do copyedits to the article that you may revert if you disagree. I believe most prose issues are resolved. However, I'd recommend sending the article to WP:GOCE after this review to guarantee the prose is in good shape, as I am not fluent in English, so it's possible I could've missed something. However, I tried my best to fix the prose issues.
- Just wanted to say, you did great! Especially for a non-native speaker. Thanks so much! :D Cheers, and carpe diem! Nascar9919 (he/him • t • c) 01:28, 11 March 2024 (UTC)
- I would suggest adding the official nightcore version to the "Track listing" section.
Done.Cheers, and carpe diem! Nascar9919 (he/him • t • c) 19:06, 10 March 2024 (UTC)
Spot-check
Will pick a few sources randomly. Do note I don't know any Estonian, so for Estonian sources, I'll basically be checking against an automatic translated version.
- 2:
- 9:
Checks out with what's currently in prose; maybe the other opinions presented in that article could also be added?
- 10:
It doesn't say the song is "as good as a song by Lady Gaga or Madonna". It is slightly different, saying: "This song could just as well be by either Lady Gaga or Madonna".
- 17:
This doesn't confirm... anything. It says the song advanced to the superfinal with Outloudz's "I Wanna Meet Bob Dylan" and ultimately won, but that's it. There's no description of how the performance was, that she "performed a repeat", or the number of votes. (Also, this needs a "url-status=dead").
- 22:
"The five background dancers and cardboard boxes remained" is not mentioned.
- 29:
Quote checks out, but that's not a review, they apparently wrote that right after the performance, as the post was being updated live. Please change the prose accordingly, as it currently says it's a review.
- Fixed? Let me know if you want it tweaked further. Cheers, and carpe diem! Nascar9919 (he/him • t • c) 19:06, 10 March 2024 (UTC)
- 30:
"Nightcore" isn't mentioned specifically (we have words such as "up-tempo"), and while the prose says "especially in Asia", the source only confirms that it has happened in Asia (not other parts of the world), so you should drop "especially".
- 33:
- Tried to address all concerns to the best of my ability. Let me know if you want things tweaked further. Had to remove some info from the Eesti Laul performance; they just didn't cover that sort of thing back then, I guess. Cheers, and carpe diem! Nascar9919 (he/him • t • c) 18:52, 12 March 2024 (UTC)
On hold Skyshiftertalk 18:37, 12 March 2024 (UTC)
Actually, here are a few more spot-checks since quite a few of them failed above. If too many of them fail again, a full spot-check on all sources will probably be needed, which will take more time. Skyshiftertalk 18:50, 12 March 2024 (UTC)
- 3 -
- 6 -
- 11 -
- 15 -
- 19 -
Seems like the source wrongly said the first semi-final was held on the 11th, but apparently, it indeed was on the 10th. Also, while it doesn't confirm that the Eurovision happened at the Düsseldorf Arena, this is easily verifiable information.
- 28 -
but edited so it says exactly what the source says ("Hopes were not fulfilled").
- 29 -
but not a review, edited to say that.
1, 2, 7, 3, down to ✓ Passing this article. (not cringe at all...) Skyshiftertalk 22:41, 17 March 2024 (UTC)