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GA Review

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Reviewer: Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk · contribs) 17:59, 16 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I'll take this one. Will review shortly. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 17:59, 16 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Prelim

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  • Earwig reports copyvio unlikely

Lede and infobox

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  • If Trousdale was accepted into the RAF at the end of 1938, should this not be the date for when he joined the service?
  • He didn't formally join the RAF until completion of the first stage of his flight training in 1939; if he hadn't passed that course, he would have been rejected. Zawed (talk) 08:29, 22 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Might be useful to note what planes he flew in 255 and 409/488 as well
  • Should it not be "he reformed No. 488 (NZ) Squadron"?
  • Is there a more precise location for his death than "England"?

Early life

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  • "...who was a farmer in the area" to avoid too much "was"!
  • "He successfully completed..." are there any dates available for the events in this section?
  • When did the bombing course occur?
  • Suggest provide date of posting to 266 in Early life rather than at start of Second World War

Second World War

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  • "replaced by Supermarine Spitfire..." would these have been mark 1s, do you think?
  • For the sake of consistency in the article, "RAF Martlesham Heath"? (ibid Wittering)
  • "He also claimed a Messerschmitt Bf 109 fighter" in the same engagement? under the impression there were only 110s engaged
  • Not sure on whether it was the same engagement or one in a separate engagement. My sources don't say. They would have been making multiple flights a day at this time. Zawed (talk) 09:11, 22 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "shifted" a little informal, no? Perhaps "moved" or "transferred" would be better
  • "Eastchurch" and "Hornchurch" per previous cmt about naming of airfields, won't repeat again for later examples, assuming you'll have answered the query as a whole at the first instance!
  • "A day afterwards" suggest providing the actual date here
  • "shifted" per previous cmt
  • "the squadron began patrolling..."
  • "as it was tasked with the defence of the Midlands" this wording seems to suggest that being equipped with night fighters makes it obvious that they were defending the Midlands in particular, but I don't see a connection
  • "working up to operational status" you've already said that the squadron was "operating from Kirton-in-Lindsey"?
  • Have rephrased this section.
  • Making an assumption that where non specific dates for kills are provided this is because the exact date isn't known, but if any more particular dates are known then they should obviously be included
  • That is just be trying to vary it up - I sometimes feel a series of dates can be tedious for the reader. I have added a date for the aircraft shot down in February. Zawed (talk) 09:11, 22 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "July 1941" no need to repeat the year
  • "posted to No. 409 Squadron" do we know if the acting rank continued in this posting?
  • "By November the squadron was"
  • "interception missions" concept likely needs explaining if there's no valid link
  • "to the headquarters"
  • "a training role" was he being trained or doing the training?

Service with RNZAF

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  • "with his short service commission in the RAF at an end" is this before the end of the war or after? A little strange to end when it did if it is the former, surely?
  • The short service commission was for five years so ended before the war did. The transfer to the RNZAF was so that he could continue to serve in the war. This was a common practice as RNZAF personnel was seconded to the RAF. Zawed (talk) 09:22, 22 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "a variety of multi-engined aircraft" any pertinent examples?
  • "On 16 June 1947" no need to repeat year
  • "is credited with having destroyed..." this summary might work better placed at the end of his war service rather than after his death in peacetime
  • What is the difference between the seventh "possible" kill and the three "probable" kills?
  • "but subsequently returned to New Zealand to live" this seems like the sentence may have been cut off? If not, suggest rewording to "but subsequently returned to live in New Zealand"

References

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  • Ref #7 link does not work.

@Zawed: First read through completed. Will await your replies, and apologies that this wasn't a little faster in coming. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 16:10, 20 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]