Talk:Renaissance Girls/GA1
Appearance
GA Review
[edit]GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs) 04:25, 1 October 2016 (UTC)
Hello, my name is CaliforniaDreamsFan, and I'll be reviewing your article! Full review coming soon, so stay tuned!
Lead section
[edit]- Remove "recorded" before "by Danish recording artist"; slight repetition.
- Remove "solely" after "The track was"; repetition
Background and composition
[edit]- Add "eponymous" before "second studio album", since you haven't actually notified the reader's name after the lead.
- Add "her third record" before Wish Bone, and a comma before it as well.
- Also, is it Dave Sitek or David Andrew Sitek? Be consistent through the article please.
Critical reception
[edit]- Add "it" after called on the very last sentence for AllMusic.
Music video
[edit]- What format was the video released on? YouTube? Vevo? Specify please.
- You synopsis of the video bares no citations whatsoever; try and incorporate your YouTube (yes, I know its released on YouTube, but still) through the start and end of the paragraph please.
- Remove "several" if there are only two critiques here (you can keep it if you intend to add more).
Release history
[edit]- Small personal point cause it's not my cup-of-tea, but I would personally merge both the sub-headings into just Release history. It's well organised, but that's just my opinion.
Overall GA conclusion
[edit]A really good article! On hold for 7 days for additional editing. Please ping me for any inquires or when you have finished! Good luck
- @CaliforniaDreamsFan: All done! Thank you so much once again! Carbrera (talk) 18:07, 1 October 2016 (UTC)
- Passing! CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 07:43, 4 October 2016 (UTC)