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Talk:Ramy Rabia/GA1

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Reviewer: Gonzo fan2007 (talk · contribs) 16:41, 13 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]


Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed
Lead
WP:LEADCITE does say that information likely to be challenged should be sourced with an inline citation. As this is a statement of opinion that is not sourced elsewhere, I thought it best to include a direct citation. Kosack (talk) 05:23, 14 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Club career
  • "under new manager Manuel José de Jesus and,[3] after club captain" - this should be split into two sentences. Put a period after "Jesus" - Done
  • "He attracted attention from several European sides, including Manchester United, Chelsea and Borussia Dortmund and was offered a trial with French side Lille but was forced to cancel after undergoing surgery for a knee injury suffered during a league match against Smouha." - this sentence needs split as well. Maybe after Borussia Dortmund. - Done
  • "approached Al Ahly prior to the Club World Cup but negotiations" - is there a link for Club World Cup you could point to.
The Club World Cup is linked in the previous paragraph. Kosack (talk) 05:23, 14 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Following his departure, he released a statement to the club's fans, commenting "Al Ahly is the love of my life." - this sentence is weird in this location because you haven't talked about his departure yet. That doesn't occur until the net section. Either reword, move down to the next section, or remove. - Done
  • "reserve side, Sporting CP B, making his debut" - split into two sentence. i.e "...Sporting CP B. He made his debut..." Note that you have to change "providing" to "provided" later in the sentence. Done
  • "After missing five weeks due to the surgery, Rabia returned to the club's reserve side but received criticism from Sporting manager Marco Silva after being deemed at fault for two goals during a 5–0 defeat against Atlético CP with Silva describing Rabia as being "in a very delayed stage of his evolution as a player." - this sentence needs to be split up into 2 or 3 sentences. It's way too long. - Done
  • "He made his first start for the club in the first leg of the following round," - if the reader doesn't know that the Taça de Portugal is a tournament, than they don't know what the word "round" references. I would clarify. - Done
  • "to ongoing injury problems, commenting " I can’t say when I will return, it takes time." - there is an extra space between the quotation mark and the word "I" « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 21:46, 13 September 2018 (UTC) - Done[reply]
International career
  • "Rabia represented Egypt at under-20 level," - add "the" before "under-20"
In football terms, it would read odd to say "at the under-20 level". A couple of examples of using the same terms The Independent and BBC. Kosack (talk) 05:33, 14 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "After scoring the goal that confirmed the squads qualification for the 2013 FIFA U-20 World Cup with a header during a 1–0 victory over Algeria and sent the side through to the semi-finals,[27] he led the side to their fourth tournament title and first since 2003 after defeating Ghana in the final." - this sentence needs to be split up and rewritten. First sentence should focus on the the header and victory. The second should focus on the title/final. '- Done
  • "Rabia later represented Egypt at under-23 level," - add "the" before "under-23"
Same issue as above. Kosack (talk) 05:33, 14 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "first senior international goal in friendly match against Qatar, scoring his side's only goal in a 3–1 defeat." - add "a" before "friendly" - Done
  • Why does this section end at 2013? He scored a goal in 2015. Is he still on the international club? Did he play in the 2018 World Cup? Is he no longer on the national team? What is his current status? - Expanded
  • In the International goals table, the 1 has a period after it, but 2 and 3 don't. Be consistent. - Done
  • In the "with clubs" table, the words Team and Season should be capitalized.
    • Why is this table located under a section titled "International career"??
    • "APP" should use the {{Abbr}} template, i.e. Apps - note I changes it to Apps, since this is how the infobox lists it.
    • "sporting lisbon" should be capitalized
    • What is the meaning of the bar in Ahly (Egypt)|Ahly? Why is it there?
    • Why aren't any of the team names linked?
  • What are the sources for the two tables? « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 21:46, 13 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
The table was added by another user after nomination and unfortunately slipped past me. The two sources included don't appear to support the Egyptian Premier League statistics and, as you pointed out, the formatting of the table is a bit messy. I have removed the table. Kosack (talk) 07:03, 14 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Honours
  • Date ranges should show the full dates. See MOS:DATERANGE. 2013-14 should be 2013-2014, etc
It's standard for sporting season spans to use the shortened format, see FA Thierry Henry as an example. Kosack (talk) 08:12, 14 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Another late addition after nomination, he didn't actually play in the game in 2017 so that's out as well. Kosack (talk)'
Images
References
  • Reference 12 doesn't list King Tut.com the way all the other sources do. Be consistent. - Done
  • References 34 and 35 are not formatted correctly. I am also very confused why they are located where they are.
Part of the stats table issue, removed. Kosack (talk) 08:12, 14 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Generally concerned that 31 of your 35 references come from one source. It's not the worst thing on earth, but it would be nice to have some diversity of sources.
KingFut is the only real English language source that covers their own players career in such detail. I'm unaware of any rule requiring diverse sources, some biographical articles are entirely based on autobiographies for example. Kosack (talk) 08:12, 14 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Like I said, it's not a big issue with a non-controversial and easily notable subject. But it is generally covered under WP:SIGCOV and WP:VERIFY, that you need to have multiple, independent sources to ensure notability and verification of facts. I.e. if five sources list a fact about a subject, then we can be fairly certain that it is correct. If just one source lists it, then it is harder to verify those facts. But with this subject and the lack of reliable English sources, its not a big deal. The other options would be to find a few Egyptian source, use Google translate, and add them to the article. It's up to you. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 16:00, 14 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Here is a possible addition. Ahram.org.eg is a good source. A quick perusal saw at least a few English articles mentioning Rabia that you could add. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 16:00, 14 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Also, what makes KingFut.com reliable? Do they have an editorial board or some type of editorial review? From what I read about it, it seems like it is operated by three guys? Wouldn't be such a big issue, but most of the article relies on it. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 21:46, 13 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
One of the three founders is formerly a writer for Goal.com, a global sports website, and many of the journalists listed have contributed to other worldwide sources such as the BBC and FourFourTwo magazine. According to the website's Wiki page (which is a mess), it actually has at least one official partnership with a football team to manage their entire Middle Eastern media platforms. Other websites such as Bleacher Report, Goal.com and hitc.com have also all published articles attributed to the site. Kosack (talk) 08:12, 14 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Overall
Unfortunately, as a player based in non-English language countries, human interest stories on him are scarce. Kosack (talk) 08:12, 14 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
I still think it is weird not to at least mention the personal details that are known. Having this section will also allow others to easily add to it if they are able to. There has to be an Arabic source out there that provides more details that someone can use to add to this article. This is what I was thinking. Let me know your opinion on it. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 16:00, 14 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
New items
Comments
Thanks for the review, I've made a start. Kosack (talk) 05:33, 14 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
@Gonzo fan2007: I think I've addressed all of the issues raised above. Let me know your thoughts. Kosack (talk) 08:12, 14 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Kosack, I have added various replies above. Cheers, « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 16:00, 14 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
@Gonzo fan2007: I've added a handful of extra refs throughout the text to break up the refs and fixed the typos. I think the years on your FLC was down to a range of years rather than being a single season. I've got no problems witht the early life section, I thought you were expecting a substantial paragraph or something. Kosack (talk) 19:20, 14 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Awesome. This looks good, nice work. Passed. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 19:56, 14 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
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