Talk:Raiden (Metal Gear)/GA1
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Reviewer: GreatOrangePumpkin (talk · contribs) 16:35, 12 July 2012 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- Done.
- third "u" in "Sukarua Sutsu" should be an "ū", as you used the Hepburn format throughout
- Done.
- "An organization known The Patriots " - I would add "known as"
- Done.
- "(shown at E3 2005)" - I think this is trivia
- Removed.
- "version of Raiden appears in Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops Plus expansion pack" - in the Metal Gear, as you wrote "expansion pack" at the end
- Done.
- I would just write "AI" instead of with the redundant periods
- Done.
- "(a deleted scene from the original game due to the September 11 attacks)" - I think that should be integrated, ie without the brackets, as that is important
- Done.
- "the decision to make a new character the main playable one of Metal Gear Solid 2 (instead of Solid Snake) stemmed from the developer's desire to develop Snake from a third-person perspective instead of treating Snake like a rookie again." - long and complicated sentence
- Trimmed and reworded.
- Link "VR" (virtual reality?) in Analysis, or describe it
- Done.
- The phrases in brackets are distracting; try to eliminate as many as possible and merged the phrases with other
- Removed some of them and reworded the others.
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references):
b (citations to reliable sources):
c (OR):
- Minor: Overlinking of 1Up.com and GameSport
- a (references):
- Removed link 1UP in reception. Can't find another GameSpot link in the body.
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects):
b (focused):
- Some of the content in the brackets is trivial and out of place
- a (major aspects):
- Reworked.
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
- Overall: Minor corrections needed, but otherwise an excellent article. --GoPTCN 20:10, 13 July 2012 (UTC)
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass Very interesting article. --GoPTCN 08:27, 14 July 2012 (UTC)