Talk:Queens of Industry

A fact from Queens of Industry appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 2 December 2020 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:

Did you know... that Britain's 1977 Coal Queen won her weight in Babycham?

A record of the entry may be seen at Wikipedia:Recent additions/2020/December. The nomination discussion and review may be seen at Template:Did you know nominations/Queens of Industry.

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Did you know nomination

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 07:08, 20 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

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~~... that the 1977 Coal Queen Marie Redford won her weight in Babycham?~~ Source: "Coal Queens for example were a big part of the social scene and it was a really prestigious beauty pageant and the 1977 winner, Marie Redford, won her weight in Babycham!" https://www.ncm.org.uk/news/what-do-babycham-star-wars-and-madonna-have-in-common
- ALT1:~~... that the first Queen of Industry to be crowned in Britain was Ella Wotton, who became Railway Queen in 1925?~~ Source: "The first Railway Queen was Helena (Ella) Wotton, the daughter of a Great Western Railway Employee." https://collection.sciencemuseumgroup.org.uk/objects/co217802/velvet-railway-queen-gown-blue-and-gold-robes

Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/The Cellist
Comment: I had a lot of trouble choosing hooks from this article, so please say if there's something hookier you spot!

Created by Lajmmoore (talk). Self-nominated at 18:26, 3 November 2020 (UTC).[reply]

Perhaps something about them representing their industries could work as a hook? Narutolovehinata5 ^tccsdnew 10:35, 6 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks Narutolovehinata5 how about?

ALT2 ~~... that Queens of Industry were beauty queens representing industries, such as cotton and coal, that they or their family worked in?~~ Source: Conway, Rebecca (2013-12-01). "Making the Mill Girl Modern?: Beauty, Industry, and the Popular Newspaper in 1930s' England". Twentieth Century British History. 24 (4): 518–541. doi:10.1093/tcbh/hwt004 Lajmmoore (talk) 11:52, 9 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

A little too repetitive ("Queens"..."queens"..."Industry"..."industries"). Maybe you can pipe the link? Yoninah (talk) 00:14, 16 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks Yoninah - how about?

ALT2a ~~... that Queens of Industry were women who featured in beauty pageants, hosted by companies they worked for, in coal or textiles for example?~~ Source: Conway, Rebecca (2013-12-01). "Making the Mill Girl Modern?: Beauty, Industry, and the Popular Newspaper in 1930s' England". Twentieth Century British History. 24 (4): 518–541. doi:10.1093/tcbh/hwt004

ALT2b ~~... that businesses established Queens of Industry competitions to choose women to represent industries, such as cotton and coal?~~ Source: Conway, Rebecca (2013-12-01). "Making the Mill Girl Modern?: Beauty, Industry, and the Popular Newspaper in 1930s' England". Twentieth Century British History. 24 (4): 518–541. doi:10.1093/tcbh/hwt004 Lajmmoore (talk) 09:08, 17 November 2020‎ (UTC)[reply]

@Lajmmoore: Frankly, I don't think the hook direction in ALTs 2, 2a, 2b is going anywhere. You are writing facts, not hooks. I think your original hook ideas focusing on people had better promise. Or something like:
ALT3: ~~... that in Blackpool in 1936, the cotton, salt, fish, locomotive, potteries, wool, and silk industries all had Queens?~~ Yoninah (talk) 20:23, 17 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks Yoninah - I just followed User:Narutolovehinata5's advice. Personally, I liked ALT0 but I like your ALT3 too! Lajmmoore (talk) 09:54, 18 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Lajmmoore: Thank you. We try not to mention names on the main page that have no Wikipedia link. If you want to write a stub for this person, it would be fine. Otherwise, maybe you want to write a hook mentioning another person who has a Wikipedia page? Yoninah (talk) 12:25, 18 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Yoninah That point on names makes sense, and is a rule I'd missed, so thanks. How about ..

ALT4 ~~... that Railway Queen Audrey Mossom toured Russia in 1936 and was introduced to Stalin?~~Source: "Audrey Mossom: Railway Queen of Great Britain who was entertained by Stalin on a peace trip to the Soviet Union" https://www.independent.co.uk/news/obituaries/audrey-mossom-railway-queen-of-great-britain-who-was-entertained-by-stalin-on-a-peace-trip-to-the-1795569.html Lajmmoore (talk) 18:09, 18 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Lajmmoore: OK, but why would anyone want to click on Railway Queen? The hook seems to be about something other than the bolded subject. Yoninah (talk) 18:26, 18 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Lajmmoore: You need to think "hook" and not "statement of fact". You could drop the name from the your first hook and write:
ALT0a: ... that Britain's 1977 Coal Queen won her weight in Babycham? Yoninah (talk) 18:28, 18 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Sounds good to me! Lajmmoore (talk) 18:31, 18 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

OK, here is a full review: New enough, long enough, neutrally written, well referenced, no close paraphrasing seen. ALT0a hook is hooky, verified, and cited inline. Images are freely licensed. QPQ done. ALT0a good to go. Yoninah (talk) 18:42, 18 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]