Talk:Q*bert/GA1

GA Review

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Hi. I'm Mm40, and I'll be reviewing the article for GA. If you have any question, concerns, etc., just post them here or on my talk page. The review will take at most seven days (although it nearly certainly won't). Mm40 (talk) 02:37, 9 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Here's the first part of the review. I highly recommend you watch this page so I don't have to spam your talk page every time I post a comment. Remember, these are merely suggestions, and I prefer to leave corrections to the main editor, because they know what they're talking about.

Third sentence of the lead: "avoid" should be "avoiding"
Last line of first paragraph: "by using" can be changed to "using" or "with" to avoid redundancy
Second paragraph of lead: "...but Davis removed the game mechanic to simply gameplay." Should "simply" be "simplify"?
Last paragraph of the lead: "...and the character's likeness used in merchandising" before "used", there should be a "was" or "has been" or something along those lines. Mm40 (talk) 10:57, 10 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I copy edited the lead per your suggestions. Except for the last about merchandising. I wrote the sentence so the "and" would distribute the first part of the sentence to the two results.

"The success resulted in sequels and the character's likeness used in merchandising..."

or without the first result

"The success resulted in the character's likeness used in merchandising..."

I believe it's correct, but I'm no grammar expert so I can try to reword it to make the meaning more clear.

Let me know what else you find. (Guyinblack25 ^talk 14:43, 10 June 2009 (UTC))[reply]

Gameplay/lead: The article says that one must change the cube's color, but it doesn't mention that they have to all be one color.
File:Qbert.png needs a source.
Development: "Gottlieb staff had difficulty naming the game..." is missing an 's after Gottlieb.
Development: "The cost of installing foam, however, was too expensive and it was omitted." What was omitted? The sound as Q*bert fell off, or just the foam padding? Clarify.
Development: In the quote box: "'bogus points.'" Should the period be outside the quotes as it is in the rest of the article, or is this how the source presents it?
Reception: "...considered Q*bert one of the more memorable titles during its time." The article says "title", was it memorable for its title, or as a title? I know this is an OK saying for other games, but for one with an interesting title like this, this may be confusing. Additionally, you may want to change "during its time" to "of its time". Up to you, though.
Reception: "In 2008, Guinness World Records listed it as the number seventeen arcade game." How were they ranked? I know Guinness always does rankings based off of facts, such as money earned, cabinets sold, etc. To say only that something is the top video game in terms of gameplay isn't something Guinness would do.

I am definitely going to finish this review by 21:00 UTC tonight. Mm40 (talk) 10:47, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I've made most of the edits you suggested above. The ones still needing attention are:

File:Qbert.png- I've contacted the uploader about that image and File:Qbertsqubes.png, but haven't heard back yet. I think the editor is retired. No source was originally given. I assume it was a screencatpure of a MAME emulation, but I don't know for certain.

I think you can just add that source onto the image page. Or, if you aren't confident about it, you may want to e-mail the original uploader.

I wrote "The Gottlieb staff" instead of "Gottlieb's staff" because I believe an apostrophe is needed in this case. I can also always change it "The developers" to avoid the issue altogether if you think would be better.

What you changed it to is fine by me.

The Guinness World Records ranked the list on "technical, creative and cultural impact". Not sure how to integrate this though. Any ideas?

How about: "In 2008, Guinness World Records listed it as the number seventeen arcade game in "technical, creative and cultural impact".

I look forward to the rest of the review. (Guyinblack25 ^talk 15:14, 12 June 2009 (UTC))[reply]

First paragraph of Legacy: "...characters from the Golden age of video arcade games." I don't think "Golden" should be capitalized, as it isn't in the linked article.
First paragraph of Legacy: "It also included the other game characters and new characters..." The beginning of this sentence seems awkwardly worded. Maybe "It also included the game's other characters..."
Second paragraph of Legacy: "Davis is also surprise people still positively remember the game." I think "surprise" should be "surprised"
Not important for GA: It seems like the second paragraph of Legacy should be rewritten. The 3rd sentence begins "despite its success", and the next contains "however", which seems like it should be a reversal of the previous sentence.
Remakes and sequels: "The player navigates the protagonist around a plane of cubes, while avoiding enemies." Is the comma needed?
Remakes and sequels: "Davis later released the game's ROM image for fans to play via MAME, an arcade emulator." Which game; FHMC Q*bert or the original?
References: Should the game's name be italicized in titles? I'm guessing this is only the case if the source has it that way, but not sure.
General: The release date is mentioned only in infobox and Remakes and sequels. I'm unsure whether this should be mentioned in Development or Reception (or both).

After these issues and the image situation are cleared up, I'll pass the article. Additionally, I would greatly appreciate any comments you had about this review, as this is only my third so far. Thanks. Mm40 (talk) 20:48, 12 June 2009 (UTC) P. S. I've responded to all the comments you've left following the second part of my review (this morning). OK, as all the issues I've raised have been tackled, I'm passing this article. Great job, and thank you for your wonderful contributions to the project. I'd greatly appreciate any criticism you have of my review, as this is only my third (see my user page). Cheers. Mm40 (talk) 01:35, 13 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]