Talk:Pure Japanese/GA1

PASS

The article meets the good article criteria. (CC) Tbhotch^™ 01:36, 27 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Nominator: Murasakihitsuji (talk · contribs) 05:19, 9 October 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Tbhotch (talk · contribs) 19:22, 17 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, thank you very much for reviewing this article. Murasakihitsuji (talk) 03:01, 18 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

You're welcome. As soon as I complete Emmylou Harris's review, I'll continue with this one. (CC) Tbhotch^™ 04:15, 21 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Upcoming review.

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose quality (prose is clear and concise, without exceeding quotations, or spelling and grammar errors):
Some phrases can be reworked

B. MoS compliance (including, but not limited to: lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists):
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. References to sources (including an appropriate reference section):

B. Citation of available and reliable sources where necessary (including direct quotations):

C. No original research:

D. No copyright violations:
Too many quotations
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:

B. Focused:
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
The article adheres to the NPOV policy
Is it stable?
edit wars, multiple edits not related to the GAN process, etc. (this excludes blatant vandalism):
Does it contain images (or other media) to illustrate (or support) the topic?
A. Images (and other media) are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
Once copyrighted file correctly tagged. One free picture that doesn't seem to be a copyvio

B. Images (and other media) are provided where possible and are relevant, with suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:

Infobox

The poster and the theme park picture may include alt text

Lead

"an eccentric man with limited social skills and a devotion to Japanese culture, who handles sound effects for ninja shows, despite his exceptional physical abilities" → both commas are unrequired
"he rescues a high school girl named Ayumi (Aju Makita)," → (Makita)
"her grandfather Ryuzo (Tetsu Watanabe)" → Watanabe
"The film garnered mixed reviews. The Japan Times remarked that it was "likely to be misunderstood"." sentence can be merged with the previous one.

I'll continue in the next hours. (CC) Tbhotch^™ 19:43, 22 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I have corrected the Infobox and the Lead. Murasakihitsuji (talk) 10:12, 23 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Could you check the alt text on the poster? Murasakihitsuji (talk) 14:09, 23 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Development

There are too many quotations.

"a living person ..." can be paraphrased
"What do I need to do to move forward?" can be paraphrased
"a case study" can be paraphrased

"In an interview with Rooftop, Matsunaga explained the following regarding this aspect:" → "Matsunaga explained it further in an interview with Rooftop:"
"he gives his life away like a sacrificial offering had been the one Fujioka" → "was the one Fujioka"
"Matsunaga spent a lot of time discussing with Fujioka about his ideas" → "Matsunaga spent a lot of time discussing his ideas with Fujioka"
"In doing so, the idea of interweaving various cultures, such as using the words of Ludwig Wittgenstein, Yukio Mishima and Yoshida Shoin, was increasingly generated." → "Thus, the notion of fusing several cultures—for example, by quoting Yoshida Shoin, Yukio Mishima, and Ludwig Wittgenstein—became more and more prevalent."

Casting

Dean Fujioka and Aju Makita → Fujioka
"Regarding his own inclusion in the cast as well, Fujioka said in an interview with Oricon:" → "In an interview with Oricon, Fujioka spoke about his own casting:"
"It is the sense that" → "It is in the sense that"
"I am glad that the 'actress' Aju Makita" → Did he really refer to her as "an actress"? Written like that can be read as sarcastic
"and others, joined the cast." → "and others, had joined the cast."
"I believe Sakaguchi-san's appearance" can be paraphrased

Filming

"That theme park is a place where the lost or no longer existing past life and culture of Japan are artificially purified and displayed; for instance, a museum exhibits stuffed extinct animals"

That theme park → It
is a place where the lost or no longer existing past life and culture of Japan are artificially purified and displayed → This reads like an advert so at least it should be attributed to whoever said it or it needs to be reworded
"Fujioka was practicing the action scenes about three months before filming began because they differed significantly from the ninja shows in style" → "About three months before the start of filming, Fujioka started rehearsing the action scenes because they differed significantly from the ninja shows in style."
"He created the basic flow of them" → "He created their basic flow"
"The climactic action scenes were initially developed by Fujioka and action choreographer Eiji Morisaki." → You can change it to active voice

Release

"Following its theatrical release in Japan on January 28, 2022, distributed by Amuse Inc.,[3] the film was screened in the Nippon Visions section of the 22nd Nippon Connection Japanese Film Festival in Germany from May 24 to 29, 2022" → "After being distributed by Amuse Inc. and having its theatrical debut in Japan on January 28, 2022, the film was screened from May 24 to 29, 2022, in Germany as part of the Nippon Visions section of the 22nd Nippon Connection Japanese Film Festival."

Music

"containing all 16 tracks" → You can include the tracklisting
"Soundtrack" is not a genre (infobox)

Reception

Too many quotations
"of the film as "a film" → film is repetitive. "He praised its "unexpected philosophical trimmings" as...", for example
"a film with some big ideas" can be paraphrased and you eliminate an unnecessary quote
""Rather than go in for the kill, it ends on a frustratingly ambivalent note."" can be paraphrased, for example, "he found frustration with the ending as he considered it "ambivalent"
"work(ed) incredibly" → "work[ed] incredibly"
"and praised the presence of "series" → and praised the presence of a "series"
"the general overfamiliarity" quote can be paraphrased
"low-budget qualities" quote can be paraphrased

References

Why do you need sources in the cast section? MOS:PLOT applies
Source 8 (Asian Movie Pulse) → " "If the Japanese language OS treats individual lives merely as vehicles, delivering Language OS DNAs to the future, where will this demigod-like language OS take the nihongo-bito?"" is not mentioned in the source
No other issues with the sources

~~@Murasakihitsuji: I'll pause at the moment and I'll complete the review tomorrow. (CC) Tbhotch^™ 04:09, 23 June 2024 (UTC)~~[reply]

@Murasakihitsuji: Placed on hold. (CC) Tbhotch^™ 00:58, 24 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Partly done @Murasakihitsuji: the only thing I couldn't verify was still "If the Japanese language OS treats individual lives merely as vehicles, delivering Language OS DNAs to the future, where will this demigod-like language OS take the nihongo-bito?" (CC) Tbhotch^™ 05:53, 25 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I'm sorry. I have not yet worked on your instructions in the Reception and Reference sections. Please give me a little more time. Murasakihitsuji (talk) 08:47, 25 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I have now corrected all of your instructions. Murasakihitsuji (talk) 16:59, 25 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Tbhotch: I have revised the article according to your instructions. Could you check it, please? Murasakihitsuji (talk) 16:43, 26 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Approved. (CC) Tbhotch^™ 01:36, 27 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.