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Untitled

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I am a psychology major at Davidson College and will be writing this article to discuss what psychology can reveal about dance.Olivia Morrison (talk)

Peer Review

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I thought this was a very good article! The structure of the sections and the writing were clear and straightforward. I also thought you did a good job with your citations, and with including many wikilinks for terms you used.

Since this is a new article, you should make a lead section with an overview of what the page is about.

Here are some suggestions for specific sentences that I found somewhat confusing:

In the section Dance and Cognition: "Results indicate congruencies and incongruencies between the intention and the response.[11]" Maybe explain this more, because it sounds a little vague and made me wonder what the congruencies/incongruencies were.

Finally, I think you could give your section "Other" a more descriptive title that refers to dance and physical arousal or creativity and mood. I had to re-read this part a couple of times. I was not sure if the experimenters were grading the participants on their actual dancing ability, or if they were giving them random grades, regardless of their ability, to induce a certain mood. This made it difficult to understand the purpose and results that you describe.

You should also make a include a title above the "References" section.

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this page! Edienicol (talk) 03:52, 10 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Peer Review

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Nice photo! Your page looks great and has good wiki style writing, which is very concise and easy to read. You have great, fluent organization with cohesive paragraphs and sections. I like how you use concrete evidence in studies to support findings about cognition in dance. Nonetheless, you may want to also find a paper that is a meta analysis or literature review, which gives an overview of over-arching views/ideas about dance.

I would also suggest giving more of an introduction in the beginning, because the first paragraph goes right into the studies of dance. Maybe give a brief overview of about how dance is related to emotion and then go into supporting evidence/studies.

Also, when telling the result it may be helpful to explain why certain results occur. For instance, in one part you mentioned that results suggest that a combination style dance workout could be beneficial to older adults' cognitive function. But I think it be helpful to give an explanation for why it may be beneficial.

Also, I wonder if when you are describing a study, is it necessary for you to put a citation after each sentence? I don’t personally know that answer to that, but it’s something you may want to look into just for formatting purposes.

Lastly, in the dance as therapy for older adults section there were a few typos, such as capitalizing week.

Overall, great job, Olivia! Best of luck!

--Jamela Peterson (talk) 09:42, 12 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

thinking about new headings

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Need lead

ideas for new structure Watching dance

  • emotion
    • adults
    • children

Participating in dance

  • expertise
  • schools
  • therapy

Implications about mate selection

Greta Munger (talk) 16:42, 16 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Copy edit request.

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This article does not need copy editing. It has major flaws but copy editing would not be of consequence. Isthisuseful (talk) 22:25, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Wish I'd seen this before I copyedited it! Feedback encouraged. Comments:
  • This article is a chaotic compendium of primary sources. It desperately needs a secondary source to provide the missing coherence.
  • I removed all the repetitive refs. There is no need to source each sentence, when the entire paragraph uses a single source.
  • The article reads as a defense of dance, rather than an amplification of its title. One or the other should change.
  • Add some examples of the "language" that dance employs. Describe a single movement that conveys a single meaning, and a sequence that exemplifies dance's grammar.
  • I added a clarify tag because the article was ambiguous.

Good luck with your project. Lfstevens (talk) 18:25, 20 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

History

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Consider starting the main body of the article with a history section. When and why did this become an area of study? 184.67.135.194 (talk) 16:45, 23 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Wikipedia Ambassador Program course assignment

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This article is the subject of an educational assignment at Davidson College supported by the Wikipedia Ambassador Program during the 2012 Q3 term. Further details are available on the course page.

The above message was substituted from {{WAP assignment}} by PrimeBOT (talk) on 16:57, 2 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]