Talk:Project X (2012 film)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Adabow (talk · contribs) 02:37, 22 December 2012 (UTC)

• In the first dollar amount, state that this is in US$ (WP:CURRENCY)
• I think one-sentence mention of the sequel is appropriate to be included in the lead.
• "The cast is rounded out by..." - what does this mean? Is this just another way of saying "other actors are..."? If so, why is it broken into this statement as well as "Additional cast includes..."
• In terms of casting, is it known which actors have previous acting experience?
• "before choosing the digital-HD Sony F23 video camera, basing their decision on its camera's ability" - what do you mean by "its camera"? Perhaps remove "camera's".
• "The film grossed $54,731,865 in the United States and Canada and $46,200,000 from markets elsewhere – a worldwide total of $100,931,865." - I know it's under the box office heading, but specify that these sums are box office figures (not including home video)
• "Young male audiences, which had decreased throughout 2011 from the previous year saw an increase for the opening weekend, with 58% of the audience skewing male and 67% of those being under the age of 25." - I can work out what this sentence means, but please rewrite for better clarity
• "The film garnered 28% approval from 127 critics on Rotten Tomatoes – an average score of 4.2 out of 10 – whose consensus reads: "Unoriginal, unfunny, and all-around unattractive, Project X mines the depths of the teen movie and found-footage genres for 87 minutes of predictably mean-spirited debauchery."[33] and earned a score of 48 out of 100 from 25 critics on review aggregate website Metacritic,[34] indicating "mixed or average."" - either split this into two sentences (RT and MC) or rewrite. There shouldn't be a full stop at the end of the "mean-spirited debauchery" quote, as the quote is in the middle of a sentence.
• "Chris Hewitt of Empire gave the film one star out of five, and referred to the central characters portrayed by Mann, Cooper, and Brown, as "spectacularly unlikeable", labeling them as "unrepentant, nihilistic, vile, venal, animalistic, avaricious, charmless, entitled, sub-Kardashian, stunningly irresponsible brats"." - iffy prose; please rework
• "Robbie Collin of The Telegraph called the film "flamboyantly loathsome on every imaginable level" and compared the leads to Superbad, saying "unlike Superbad's leads, these three are poisonously unpleasant, and the supposedly comedic banter between them comes off as bullying."" - how is this a comparison?
• Is there a reason for the third paragraph of 'Critical reception' being two sentences long, and not part of the previous paragraph?
• "Not all reviews were negative however." - rewrite, or delete and introduce positive commentary in the next sentence
• "made the film the "'Animal House of the iPhone generation"" - this is redundant as there is already a compararison to Animal House. Maybe discuss the reasons that so many reviewers have compared this film to AH?
• I have reworked the charts paragraph of the soundtrack album section to link to specific charts and improve reading. The album also charted in other countries [1] [2] (look for others too). Have you researched information on the development/selection of music for the soundtrack? Also, you should reference the music genres of the album.
• " Bacall began writing the treatment" - treatment? Pick a better word.

I will place the review on hold while my above comments are addressed, after which I shall take another look at the article. —Andrew_stalk 03:37, 22 December 2012 (UTC)

Response

• In the first dollar amount, state that this is in US$ (WP:CURRENCY)
• I think one-sentence mention of the sequel is appropriate to be included in the lead.
• "The cast is rounded out by..." - what does this mean? Is this just another way of saying "other actors are..."? If so, why is it broken into this statement as well as "Additional cast includes..."
• In terms of casting, is it known which actors have previous acting experience?
• "before choosing the digital-HD Sony F23 video camera, basing their decision on its camera's ability" - what do you mean by "its camera"? Perhaps remove "camera's".
• "The film grossed $54,731,865 in the United States and Canada and $46,200,000 from markets elsewhere – a worldwide total of $100,931,865." - I know it's under the box office heading, but specify that these sums are box office figures (not including home video)
• "Young male audiences, which had decreased throughout 2011 from the previous year saw an increase for the opening weekend, with 58% of the audience skewing male and 67% of those being under the age of 25." - I can work out what this sentence means, but please rewrite for better clarity
• "The film garnered 28% approval from 127 critics on Rotten Tomatoes – an average score of 4.2 out of 10 – whose consensus reads: "Unoriginal, unfunny, and all-around unattractive, Project X mines the depths of the teen movie and found-footage genres for 87 minutes of predictably mean-spirited debauchery."[33] and earned a score of 48 out of 100 from 25 critics on review aggregate website Metacritic,[34] indicating "mixed or average."" - either split this into two sentences (RT and MC) or rewrite. There shouldn't be a full stop at the end of the "mean-spirited debauchery" quote, as the quote is in the middle of a sentence.
• "Chris Hewitt of Empire gave the film one star out of five, and referred to the central characters portrayed by Mann, Cooper, and Brown, as "spectacularly unlikeable", labeling them as "unrepentant, nihilistic, vile, venal, animalistic, avaricious, charmless, entitled, sub-Kardashian, stunningly irresponsible brats"." - iffy prose; please rework

I don't know what you mean by iffy prose

It doesn't read very clearly. Please rewrite the sentence. —Andrew_stalk 02:51, 23 December 2012 (UTC)

• "Robbie Collin of The Telegraph called the film "flamboyantly loathsome on every imaginable level" and compared the leads to Superbad, saying "unlike Superbad's leads, these three are poisonously unpleasant, and the supposedly comedic banter between them comes off as bullying."" - how is this a comparison?
• Is there a reason for the third paragraph of 'Critical reception' being two sentences long, and not part of the previous paragraph?

It's specifically about criticism directed towards one cast member and unrelated to the other paragraphs

• "Not all reviews were negative however." - rewrite, or delete and introduce positive commentary in the next sentence
• "made the film the "'Animal House of the iPhone generation"" - this is redundant as there is already a compararison to Animal House. Maybe discuss the reasons that so many reviewers have compared this film to AH?

This is the first comparison made to Animal House, its the first review to reference it.

How about 'because of its "funny" script and skilled editing, Neil Genzlinger of The New York Times positively compared the film to the 1978 comedy Animal House'? What comparison does Pete Travers of Rolling Stone make between the two films? —Andrew_stalk 02:51, 23 December 2012 (UTC)

Rewrote the first one, removed the Travers one, it's not very clear what point he is making in the review to draw something useful from it. Darkwarriorblake (talk) 02:19, 25 December 2012 (UTC)

• I have reworked the charts paragraph of the soundtrack album section to link to specific charts and improve reading. The album also charted in other countries [3] [4] (look for others too). Have you researched information on the development/selection of music for the soundtrack? Also, you should reference the music genres of the album.

There's not really anything I can do here, I tried researching in the past, the information isn't available or at least findable by myself.

I've added the charting info. In future, if you can't find reliable sources for genre(s), don't add any. —Andrew_stalk 02:51, 23 December 2012 (UTC)

• " Bacall began writing the treatment" - treatment? Pick a better word.
• [5] is down at the moment. If you can, replace it with an archive or paper copy, but don't remove the info if you can't. —Andrew_stalk 02:51, 23 December 2012 (UTC)

Think that's everything so far. Darkwarriorblake (talk) 02:19, 25 December 2012 (UTC)

Nice work; I'll list it now. Well done. —Andrew_stalk 05:54, 25 December 2012 (UTC)