Talk:Progressive music/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Progressive music (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 22:55, 31 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

and sometimes results → with it sometimes resulting
Electicism, like formalism, → Like formalism, electicism
toward style synthesis, or integration → remove comma here
but its listeners failed to move with the musicians → too unencyclopedic; try to reword
allowing performers limited control over their own content → offering performers limited control over their own material

Jazz

its "progressive" features → begin sentence with capital letter
autobiography: "They tried → autobiography; "They tried
that was made for listening → Remove; I think that's already clear (I mean, we don't eat it, right? )

This is meant to contrast with music created for dancing, which is the antithesis of art music.--Ilovetopaint (talk) 09:27, 2 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Pop and rock

dramatically accelerated → dramatically increased
the "progressive" label arrived → With the arrival of a "progressive" label
with standard pop music formula → with the standard pop music formula
"progressive" label: lyrics → "progressive label"—lyrics
For the rest of this sentence (above), please set a normal comma in place of a ;
Before the progressive pop of the late 1960s → Prior to the progressive pop of the late 1960s
Beach Boys' 1966 album → Beach Boys' 1966 studio album
with their lyrical unity, extended structure, complexity, eclecticism, experimentalism, and influences derived from classical music forms, are largely viewed as beginnings in the progressive rock genre → are largely viewed as beginnings in the progressive rock genre due to their lyrical unity, extended structure, complexity, eclecticism, experimentalism and influences derived from classical music forms.
Critic Simon Reynolds → [[Music journalism|Music critic]] Simon Reynolds
beginning in 1967 → beginning with 1967

(before the year 1969) → you can leave the paranthesis out
Those proto-prog musicians → The musicians that have approached this genre
bands ... into → bands [...] into
continued to support → continued to incorporate

by the likes of Yes, Genesis, and Emerson, Lake & Palmer → place this at the end of the respective sentence for better flow
John Covach: "By John Covach, "by
sound. ... What → sound [...] What
groups ... was → groups [...]
rock in that it balanced → rock by balancing
It also drew generously from → It was also notably influenced
From the same period → In the same period
writes: "the → writes; "the

Electronic

DJ/producer → disc jockey and producer

Notes

to the academic Tim Wall → "the" is overfluous
Allan Moore writes: "It → replace : with ;
song. ... → song. [...]
In note two there is a redlink, and the speech of the writer isn't quit with a closing "
From about 1967 → Starting with about 1967
both musics → both styles of music

References

There's a red link at reference #33
No dead links. Good work!

Outcome

I've put this On hold for 7 days to allow edits on the article. Very good job! Best regards, Cartoon network freak (talk) 22:55, 1 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- Done!--Ilovetopaint (talk) 09:27, 2 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  - @Ilovetopaint: Gladly passing! Congrats, Cartoon network freak (talk) 12:02, 2 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.