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Talk:Premiere (The O.C.)/GA1

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GA Review

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Everything looks pretty good; there are quite a few prose fixes that should be made to get this up to GA status:

  • Dates shouldn't be linked per WP:MOSDATE.
  • The episode depicts troubled teenager Ryan Atwood (played by Benjamin McKenzie) and his introduction - reads better as "teenager Ryan Atwood's (Benjamin McKenzie) introduction..."
  • Casting took place in the few months prior to that - we can lose the "to that".
  • The episode was generally well received by critics - either "well-received" or "received well".
  • gained its writer, Josh Schwartz a WGA Award - comma after Schwartz, and maybe "earned" instead of "gained".
  • Ryan is a troubled but bright kid, having been "Suspended twice for fighting, truancy three times, [but] your test scores ninety-eighth percentile on your SAT Is." - "kid" is too informal. The quote is not well-integrated; the 2nd person "you" doesn't fit into the rest of the sentence.
  • Outside Ryna meets the girl next door - that's an interesting name ;)
  • Ryan enters the Cohen's main house - plural possessive is Cohens'.
  • Seth reveals plan to sail to Tahiti with Summer (Rachel Bilson) the object of his affection - doesn't make sense. "His plan"? Also put a comma after the brackets.
  • "Dad" is also too informal - "father".
  • The pair later leave for the fashion show with mother, Julie and younger daughter Kaitlin, the Cohen's and Ryan also attend - who is "the pair"? Clarify. Needs actor names for Julie & Kaitlin; "Cohens" doesn't need and apostrophe; "the Cohens and Ryan also attend" should either be a separate sentence or should be worked in properly.
  • very appreciated." admitting that "you can look - comma, not a period.
  • water polo players.", Brody originally - comma shouldn't be there.
  • "he didn't really come across as that sort of "bad boy from Chino" guy." - quotes inside quotes should be 'like this'.
  • Is there a better picture to use of Point Dume? The aerial picture doesn't really add any kind of context as they obviously wouldn't be filming the scenes from that POV. Any pic of Manhattan Beach or somewhere would probably fit better.
  • Italicise Last Comic Standing, TV Guide & Beverly Hills, 90210. Also all instances of The O.C..
  • Josh Schwartz, creator of the show, received a nomination, as writer of the pilot, for the Episodic Drama Writers Guild of America Award - don't need either of the last two commas.
  • The "teen-focused show" made many cultural references and impacts due to a "renewed interest in the teen market".[36] The O.C. has a "decidedly West Coast approach to fashion (cropped tops, micro-minis, beaded flip-flops)" - you need to attribute these quotes to someone; they can't just stand alone.
  • Michael Peck from TV Guide commented on the mail he received that was interested in the song - his mail was interested in a song? I don't understand this, even after reading it a few times; needs rewording.
  • Image:TheOCpremiere.jpg does not satisfy the fair use criteria for copyrighted images. Its rationale says it accompanies commentary on the show in general, but that is not a valid reason for this article. Basically a non-free image should only be used in an article if the article is significantly lacking in something if the image is not used. Here, nothing is taken away from the article when you remove the image. I say you should take it out and move the screenshot up to the infobox.
  • The screenshot itself, though, Image:OC-101.jpg, doesn't meet the fair use criteria as it is, because it's not low-resolution. It only needs to be a little bigger than it appears in the article.

Most of those issues should be easy to fix. I'll place the article on hold for a week to give you time to make all the necessary changes, and then hopefully it can be promoted to GA. Good luck :) —97198 (talk) 08:44, 24 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Done the prose stuff. Will do the image stuff later. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 10:55, 24 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Changed images I believe I have addressed all your points. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 14:02, 24 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Alright, all the changes look fine... I'm happy to promote this. —97198 (talk) 06:59, 25 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
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