Talk:Polyforum Cultural Siqueiros
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Site
[edit]Manuel Suárez
[edit]This is a strong article, rich in detail about the site's physical features and history. This section is a bit confusing to me: I'm not sure what the relationship is between the wall and the overall site. While it's clear the wall was controversial, it's unclear, based on this description, how exactly it came to be. In particular, I'm unclear on the role of "the patron" Manuel Suárez. Did he commission the whole site? Did he own an adjacent property, which then was being encroached on? Was Siquieros working for him while the Polyforum was being constructed? This section seems to be missing information that would help me put together the full story. Some of this is explaied in "The commission", below, but by then it comes too late to be of any use. Suggest reorganizing this material.Aolivex (talk) 14:22, 24 April 2015 (UTC)
Citation missing
[edit]The last sentence of the first paragraph is uncited.Aolivex (talk) 14:22, 24 April 2015 (UTC)
Political climate
[edit]Ideally, each of the sections would flow logically from one to the next. This section seems fascinating, but unmoored. It neither follows directly from the previous section nor helps explain the following one. The impact of these events on the site is unclear, raising the question of its relevance.Aolivex (talk) 14:22, 24 April 2015 (UTC)
Mexico 2000
[edit]The first paragraph is uncited. Aolivex (talk) 14:22, 24 April 2015 (UTC)
La Marcha de la Humanidad
[edit]This reads like a long list. While a detailed account of the aesthetic and symbolic elements of the structure critical to this article, it would be highly desirable to integrate this list with some analysis. As it is, it feels unmotivated. Recommend integrating with analysis or shortening/summarizing.Aolivex (talk) 14:22, 24 April 2015 (UTC)
History
[edit]This section is very short but important, however, it is not properly captured by the section heading. Recommend integrating with other sections or retitling.Aolivex (talk) 14:22, 24 April 2015 (UTC)
Suggestions for improvement
[edit]Thank you everyone for your contributions to this article! The Polyforum Siqueiros is an incredibly interesting work that certainly needs to be showcased.
Below, I have added some suggestions for improvement:
- I noticed that all of the sources that have been cited are in Spanish. I think that it would be interesting and beneficial to add some sources in English.
- I think that the page would benefit from a section on politics in Mexico during this time period to give the reader a sense of the political climate during the 1960s.
- The section entitled "Site" shows a picture of the outer wall, which I think needs to be visually explained. All of the leaders featured in the wall mural are important to Mexican history, so identifying these men would be important for the article.
- I would be interested to see a photo included of "March of Humanity" and possibly a deeper explanation of its thematic content.
- I think that both the sections for "Foundation" and "History" could be built up a bit, or otherwise combined to make the article more balanced.
Otherwise, I believe that this article is very well written. It is neutral, informative, and encompassing.
Abbeykobrien (talk) 19:15, 27 January 2015 (UTC)
- These are great observations. For consistency's sake, it might also make sense to move the foundation/history sections up, so that readers have a sense of the site's history, before moving on to more detailed discussions of the mural's features. Aolivex (talk) 20:58, 31 January 2015 (UTC)
Potential Bibliography
[edit]- Folgarait, Leonard (1987). So Far From Heaven: David Alfaro Siqueiros’ The March of Humanity and Mexican Revolutionary Politics. New York: Cambridge University Press. ISBN 0521330610.
- Herrara, Juan Carlos Arias (2014). "From the Screen to the Wall: Siqueiros and Eisenstein in Mexico". Mexican Studies/Estudios Mexicanos. 30 (2): 421–445.
- Anreus, Alejandro; Folgarait, Leonard; Greeley, Robin Adele (2012), Mexican Muralism: a Critical History, Berkeley: University of California Press, ISBN 9780520271623
- Schonberg, Harold C. (November 21, 1968), "Siqueiros, 72, Doing Biggest Mural", New York Times, p. 40
Abbeykobrien (talk) 01:56, 17 February 2015 (UTC)
New Edits
[edit]I wanted to let everyone know what I have been up to. I recently just today added a section entitled "The Commission" to thoroughly explain the Poyyforum's commission and collective process. In doing so, I deleted a few sentences from the "History" section to make the page flow better. I also added a discussion of the interior wall mural. Abbeykobrien (talk)
Today, I added a few more things to the page. I added a section entitled "Mexico 2000" and also added some info about the exterior of the Polyforum. Abbeykobrien (talk) 19:56, 18 March 2015 (UTC)
Peer Feedback: Current Status & Moving Forward
[edit]This is turning into a great article and I noticed that you have invested a lot of time into both the research and structure of your posts. The headings give a good overview of the topic of discussion; offering both an interesting introduction to the readers as well as offering a comprehensive view toward elaborating the site's significance and nature of existence.
However, based off of previous comments:
"I noticed that all of the sources that have been cited are in Spanish. I think that it would be interesting and beneficial to add some sources in English. I think that the page would benefit from a section on politics in Mexico during this time period to give the reader a sense of the political climate during the 1960s. The section entitled "Site" shows a picture of the outer wall, which I think needs to be visually explained. All of the leaders featured in the wall mural are important to Mexican history, so identifying these men would be important for the article. I would be interested to see a photo included of "March of Humanity" and possibly a deeper explanation of its thematic content. I think that both the sections for "Foundation" and "History" could be built up a bit, or otherwise combined to make the article more balanced. Otherwise, I believe that this article is very well written. It is neutral, informative, and encompassing." "I wanted to let everyone know what I have been up to. I recently just today added a section entitled "The Commission" to thoroughly explain the Poyyforum's commission and collective process. In doing so, I deleted a few sentences from the "History" section to make the page flow better. I also added a discussion of the interior wall mural."
In addition to what could be said that is obvious or else redundant in terms of expanding this article's depth and breadth: The description of the outside is good but perhaps more details to appreciate the intricacy of the site would be valuable (if not also detail photographs if they exist). Perhaps there could be additional sections for: controversy, legacy, and in current news. Because some of these headings appear to be slightly vague in certain respects such as the Site itself (something to consider though not necessarily critical). After tweaking with the style a little and finding more research materials I have no doubt the page will be closer to perfect. (JonathonTWeber41 (talk) 01:49, 30 March 2015 (UTC))
Thanks so much Jon! I appreciate your comments very much! Abbeykobrien (talk) — Preceding undated comment added 18:02, 30 March 2015 (UTC)
Hi Abbey! I agree with a lot of the points already made in regards to what you could do moving forward with this article. You have done an impressive amount of work and research so far, and I really admire all of your ideas to improve the article! Like Jon said, the thing that stood out to me the most when I read the article was that I wished for more detailed description of the site and/or photographs. Sometimes it is difficult to visualize or grasp what a large scale work of art is like without being there. It's a lot easier to write an article about a painting, because typically only one angle is required for the reader to receive and understand the information. So I definitely think more information on the site's details will make the article much more effective! Briannahumbert (talk) 03:42, 31 March 2015 (UTC)
Images
[edit]I tried to upload some images from Flickr, but they were unfortunately in violation of the copyright protocol. I would really love to add a picture of The March, but I can't seem to find one that's available for free use. Sorry that I am unable to illustrate this amazing mural here, as many have requested that I add images. It's just too sticky of a situation.