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Talk:Pokémon, I Choose You!/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

I have started reviewing this article. There are perhaps some small formatting tweaks which might help the article but my take on my first quick skim is that the article is good. Colonel Warden (talk) 11:43, 1 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

  • I have been through the article more carefully now and have some nitpicks:
  1. "starts his Pokémon journey off to a rough start" - starts should perhaps be gets
  2. "were Misty" - were should be where (occurs twice)
  3. "Veronica Taylor, who provided the voice of Ash in this episode..." This sentence, where it occurs in the lede, seems to be a non sequitur and so the paragraph needs attention.
I don't understand. Can you explain a bit more what you mean?
  1. The lack of the writer's name in the infobox is an obvious omission. If the name cannot be found, then perhaps omit the entry.
I have tried and it's not possible to omit that entry.
  1. "Andrew Wood of The Plain Dealer had mixed feelings of the episode" - of the should be for the.

More generally, my findings against the GA criteria are currently:

  1. Well-written.  Doing... (fine except as noted above)
  2. Factually accurate and verifiable. checkY
  3. Broad in its coverage.  Doing... It could perhaps use something on sales/ratings but the omission is not glaring. Comment please.
  4. Neutral checkY
  5. Stable checkY
  6. Illustrated  Doing... The image is well-chosen but perhaps needs a fair-use entry for this specific article.

So, could the nominator or other editors take a look at the points which seem to require attention please. Colonel Warden (talk) 16:15, 3 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review! :) I left some comments further up, the rest is fixed. —TheLeftorium 16:41, 3 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Oh, and no sales/ratings are available. —TheLeftorium 16:48, 3 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • A non sequitur is a jarring change in the train of thought. In this case the paragraph jumps from detailing the editing of violence to the actress thoughts on her character, which is not really connected to the start of the paragraph. Perhaps you need a linking sentence to indicate that the violence problem was isolated and that you are talking generally about the episode's production. As for the writer and other details, please have a look around. For example, the credits are listed at http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0207656/fullcredits. Does this agree with your copy (I suppose you have it on DVD)? Please have a look for sources such as this. I will add link to the talk page to assist. Colonel Warden (talk) 16:58, 3 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I have moved the voice acting information into it's own "mini-section". Believe me, I have looked everywhere for the writer and director, but I haven't been able to find anything. Not even on IMDb (and I don't own the DVD unfortunately). Besides, I don't think it's really that important, "Dennō Senshi Porygon" is a GA and it doesn't list the writer(s). —TheLeftorium 17:10, 3 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Don't have the DVD? I was taking the plot on trust but now may have to watch it myself. Note that extensive writing credits are listed on Bulbapedia which seems a good place to start when writing about this topic. Please review their article and compare to see how this and other details might be improved. But please try to find other sources too and don't just copy their work. Colonel Warden (talk) 17:24, 3 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The Bulbapedia page does not mention the writer. —TheLeftorium 17:40, 3 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Yes, it does - the writer is the author of the screenplay, Takeshi Shudo. Colonel Warden (talk) 01:17, 4 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Ah, didn't see that. But it can't be used in this article anyway because Bulbapedia is not a RS. —TheLeftorium 10:20, 4 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Are you planning on finishing the review? —TheLeftorium 14:07, 8 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I am not currently satisfied that enough has been done to address the points raised above. I have formally placed the review on hold which gives us 7 more days. Please review the comments again. In particular, I'm thinking of were/where; non sequitur and writer's name. Colonel Warden (talk) 15:49, 8 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
It's impossible to find a reliable source for the writer. Do you want me to use Bulbapedia as a source? —TheLeftorium 15:59, 8 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Wouldn't the credits of said episode list who the writer is? Surely that could be used as a source. MelicansMatkin (talk) 17:48, 8 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Having just reviewed the end credits, it states that the episode is "based on a story by Satoshi Tajiri", and it was translated for the dub by Paul Taylor. Takeshi Shudo is listed as "Series Supervisor" and no actual writer is mentioned. MelicansMatkin (talk) 17:55, 8 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
So what are you suggesting, that we don't list the writer since it's not mentioned in the credits? —TheLeftorium 18:29, 8 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
No, I was simply looking at a likely source and affirming that it doesn't mention who the writer is. Bulbapedia got their answer from somewhere, and I thought that the credits were as likely a candidate as any (though thinking about it, that information probably comes from the Japanese-language credits). Having said that, it still reveals some interesting information that could potentially be included in the article (likely the production section), such as that the episode was translated by Paul Taylor. MelicansMatkin (talk) 18:39, 8 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Yay, I found a RS with both the writer and the director that I have now added. :D TheLeftorium 19:02, 8 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

So, do you think the article meets the criteria now? —TheLeftorium 14:49, 9 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Well? —TheLeftorium 15:06, 11 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Patience; people have priorities away from Wikipedia. It may be that Colonel Warden is simply busy. Don't worry, he'll assess it soon enough. MelicansMatkin (talk) 16:02, 11 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"Yeah, yeah, patience - how long will that take?". I'm happy that we have achieved the impossible and so we're nearly there. The lede could use a little work still to make it flow better. Perhaps drop the quotes by individuals and make some more general comments to summarise the production and reception. Colonel Warden (talk) 16:21, 11 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Sorry for not being patient. Is it better now? —TheLeftorium 16:38, 11 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Well? (Sorry for being an ass, but it's been 4 days now) :P TheLeftorium 16:32, 15 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I'm a bit busy right now but today is the last day of the 7 day period so I'll wrap this up tonight. Colonel Warden (talk) 16:47, 15 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
There is still room for improvement but I am now satisfied that the article merits the status of Good. Thanks to editor User:Theleftorium for his patience and good work. Colonel Warden (talk) 19:13, 15 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for reviewing. :) TheLeftorium 20:03, 15 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
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