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GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


 Request withdrawn -I'll work on the article more and resubmit it for FAC review instead. So please archive this review. JC7V (talk) 20:17, 26 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Lee Vilenski (talk · contribs) 15:36, 26 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]


Hello, I am planning on reviewing this article for GA Status, over the next couple of days. Thank you for nominating the article for GA status. I hope I will learn some new information, and that my feedback is helpful.

If nominators or editors could refrain from updating the particular section that I am updating until it is complete, I would appreciate it to remove a edit conflict. Please address concerns in the section that has been completed above (If I've raised concerns up to references, feel free to comment on things like the lede.)

I generally provide an overview of things I read through the article on a first glance. Then do a thorough sweep of the article after the feedback is addressed. After this, I will present the pass/failure. I will use strikethrough tags when concerns are met. Even if something is obvious why my concern is met, please leave a message as courtesy.

Best of luck! you can also use the {{done}} tag to state when something is addressed. Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 11:18, 21 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Please let me know after the review is done, if you were happy with the review! Obviously this is regarding the article's quality, however, I want to be happy and civil to all, so let me know if I have done a good job, regardless of the article's outcome.

Immediate Failures

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  • I'm confident that none of the pages flagged up by the Earwig tool are actual copyright violations. The ones with high confidence all show strong signs of being copied from Wikipedia rather than the other way round, e.g. for [1] the similar page [2] is obviously copying Wii, for [3] the content was in the article some time before the date of the blog post. The ones with lower confidence are reasonable attributed quotations or false positives. Hut 8.5 21:58, 28 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for your help Hut 8.5, I didn't want to go ahead if there was an issue, and I'm not prepared to promote any article that does have copyright infringmenets. I'll continue the review! Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 08:39, 29 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]
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I've fixed all of the links which redirected back to Playstation Portable. You can check the article itself for proof JC7V (talk) 19:07, 26 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Can you give me specific examples, this is too vague?? I've already made about 3 or 4 references uniformed with the others and am still doing so. JC7V (talk) 18:44, 26 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]
I've went ahead and made all of the references uniform as you requested. JC7V (talk) 22:00, 26 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]
I"ve fixed the dead links JC7V (talk) 17:56, 26 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Prose

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Infobox

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Lede

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  • "developed by the Sony Computer Entertainment" - Surely "the" is not neccesary? Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 11:35, 29 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • you don't need sources in the lede. It's a big put off for me. Everything written in the lede should be written and sourced elsewhere in the article. Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 11:35, 29 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The original PSP model (PSP-1000) was replaced by a slimmer model with design changes (PSP-2000/"Slim and Lite") in 2007.[20] Another remodeling followed in 2008, PSP-3000, which included a new screen and an inbuilt microphone. A complete redesign, PSP Go, came in 2009, followed by a budget model, PSP-E1000, in 2011. " - this whole paragraph isn't really for a lede. Simply stating that there were several different models is what should be in the lede, and the different models in depth later in the article. Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 11:35, 29 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • As of 2017, this is the primary method to purchase PlayStation Portable games digitally because Sony shut down direct access to the PlayStation Store via PSP on March 31, 2016. - You wouldn't need to put "as of 2017", as it would still be true in 2016. Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 11:35, 29 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • You mention the sales of the console (Which is great), but not how this reacts to it's competitor the Nintendo DS. Information on the release; reception and sales are the main things for a sales product GA IMO. Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 11:35, 29 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]
    Lee Vilenski, I've compared the sales of the Playstation Portable to the Nintendo DS in the sales section, then in the reception section I explained why the Nintendo DS sold better than the Playstation Portable. Plus I briefly compared some technical elements of the two handhelds in the technical specification section which I wrote in prose. JC7V (talk) 04:11, 3 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

History

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Very well written section. I have no issues. Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 11:40, 29 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Technical Specifications

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I think this is where my biggest issue is. Most GAs would have some sort of prose regarding the differences in specifications against it's competitors, and each version. Looking at PlayStation 4 which is a GA, this even has a seperate split topic on the subject, but everything is written in prose: see PlayStation 4 technical specifications. Even thoigh Nintendo 3DS isn't a GA, this has a great version of this section. Other GA articles such as Dreamcast also have a prose version of this.

I'm not sure I would support a promotion with this as a simple list; for it failing being well written. Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 11:47, 29 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

  • Lee Vilenski I've fixed every issue you raised including the prose issue. So please give me some feedback on the changes that I made. If my changes to anything weren't good enough, please tell me exactly what to fix and me and maybe someone else can fix these issues (I tried to turn the technical specifications into prose the best I could but I don't know anything about technical specifications so if it's not good enough, I may have to enlist help from another member of WikiProject Video Games to help me). JC7V (talk) 19:13, 29 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Lee Vilenski, I've fixed every issue that you cited. I've also put the whole technical specification section into prose form. If that or any other change I've made isn't good enough, tell me and I'll continue to fix the issues. Thank you. JC7V (talk) 04:41, 1 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]
    • Sorry, I've been away all weekend. I've taken a look at the technical specification, and it's certainly better. However, it does need a good copy edit. I'll move onto other parts of the article and take a look at this last. Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 10:14, 4 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Models

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I don't really have a problem with this. A table does seem like the most suitible way to describe this information in this instance. Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 10:22, 4 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Variations

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I don't think serial codes are notable at all. Noting that the games are non-region specific, is important, and that the consoles only work with the correct versions is fine, but I'm not sure the table is needed. Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 10:22, 4 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Redesigns

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Sales

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Hardware/Software

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  • The PSP browser is slower compared to modern browsers and often runs out of memory due to limitations put in place by Sony. - should really have a reference. Seems derogitory without one. Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 10:50, 4 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • same with "The PSP is equipped with a two-pin docking connector immediately below the AC adaptor jack for easy drop-in charging using a docking station that was to be sold separately for the PSP-1000 series. However no such charging dock was ever released by Sony. The two-pin docking station charging contacts were removed from the PSP-2000 and later versions." Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 10:50, 4 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "As of October 31, 2012 the Digital Comics App is no longer available for download.

As of December 31, 2012 the Digital Comics Server has been taken offline and earlier bought comics can no longer be re-downloaded." - make into one paragraph/sentence, and source. Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 10:50, 4 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]


Games

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Don't worry about it. I was going to leave this on hold until after the copy edit. Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 15:41, 15 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

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A nice reception section is a definate for a GA. This one is good. I'd mention the sales section should be included here, and the final two sentences should be included in such a section. Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 10:50, 4 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Controversial advertising campaigns

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  • This section feels a bit weird, when everything else is written in prose, and this is bullets. At the very least, there should be an opening paragraph that states that there were some advertsting campaigns, and whether this is normal for a console release. Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 10:50, 4 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Notes & References

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Overall impressions

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Thank you for working on the technical specifications. That would have been pretty much a complete halt to me passing this as a GA. There are quite a few outstanding issues above, and the article needs a serious copy edit (I'd actually request one at WP:GOCE, before I finish this (That's good practice in general before nominating a GA.)

The issues are missing punctuation - sometimes sentences miss off full stops, or commas; or the wording is really poor. A quick copyeditor would be able to sort this out, but it can take a couple days for someone to look at it. I'm happy to put the remaining review on hold until a copy edit has occurred. Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 11:04, 4 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lee Vilenski, Hi, thanks for the feedback. I corrected all of the issues above and I just put a request in at the Guild of Copy Editors for a copy edit of the article. JC7V (talk) 14:32, 4 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Lee Vilenski, The copyedit work for the article has been complete by a member of the CEG,. JC7V (talk) 17:40, 17 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]
JC7V - Ok, I'll take a second look today Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 09:22, 18 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Second view thoughts

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  • The PlayStation Portable was the most powerful portable system when launched, just after the Nintendo DS. - The whole sentence doesn't work. This suggests it was the most powerful... But that the DS was more powerful. I think this should say that it was released after the DS, but the sentence only infers this. Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 09:28, 18 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • ". Its high-end graphics, 4.3-inch (110 mm) viewing screen, and multi-media capabilities made the PlayStation Portable a major mobile entertainment device." - Probably shouldn't mention the exact size of the screen in the lede. Saying it had a large high-end screen is plenty. Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 09:29, 18 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

GA Review

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GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.