Talk:PlayOnline/GA1
Appearance
GA Review
[edit]GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 13:13, 12 April 2016 (UTC)
Will do soon JAGUAR 13:13, 12 April 2016 (UTC)
Initial comments
[edit]- The lead needs to be expanded slightly to meet WP:LEADLENGTH. I would just recommending adding a bit on its reception
- "The termination date of service for Final Fantasy XI and Playonline" - PlayOnline
- "Square announced three Final Fantasy games," - needs italicisation
- "The service was first announced as costing 500 yen" - ¥500
- "and a 1000 yen monthly user fee" - ¥1000
- "PlayOnline opened on June 6, 2000 to both Japanese and English speaking players" - speaking players? How about just something like Japan and English-speaking countries or even Japan and Anglophone countries
- "The sites merchandise included pieces from" - site's
- "The browser was not a general purpose Internet tool, but only accessed Square content" - delink Square as it already has been linked
- "exclusively despite Microsofts initial wishes" - Microsoft's
- " for this reason. it was hoped that content would" - capital 'It'
- "retailing at 7,140 Yen and had a monthly subscription price of 1,344 Yen" - use the Yen symbols ¥7140 and ¥1344
- "and a sought 5 million dollar settlement" - $5 million
- No dead links
- No dab links
Pretty cool to think that an online service for the PS2 shut down last month! On hold until all are addressed. JAGUAR 13:22, 12 April 2016 (UTC)
- Much better! Thanks for the speedy fixes. Promoted.
JAGUAR 14:10, 12 April 2016 (UTC)