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GA Review

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Ritchie333 (talk · contribs) 15:52, 12 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

How could I forget this? Seriously, Pizza cheese is a bit of an in-joke between me and Mrs 333 when we go shopping now eg: "ooh look, pizza cheese in aisle 3!" so I can't resist doing the review. I'll read through the article now and see what comments I have.

My initial concern is that the article, at 1146 words, is quite short, which strikes me as not meeting the "broad in coverage" criteria. Obviously a GA shouldn't be longer than necessary but I tend to find that articles less than about 10K of prose don't stand up to scrutiny.

Lead

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  • "mozzarella-like processed cheeses and Mozzarella variants." - do we need Mozzarella twice? I appreciate "x-like" and "x" can be quite different things, but I'm wondering if there's a nicer way of writing this?
  • It seems best to leave it as worded, because some pizza cheeses are designed to resemble and have properties of Mozzarella, but are not Mozarella, while others are variants based upon formulations for Mozzarella. In other words, they're two different types of general product classifications. Regarding the latter, additional information is in the article, "Some pizza cheeses derived from skim mozzarella variants were designed not to require aging or the use of starter". North America1000 21:46, 12 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Estimates have placed 30% of all pizza cheese used in the United States is mozzarella cheese" - what about other countries? Is Pizza cheese popular in Italy, China, Japan or India? I'd be surprised if it wasn't, and I think these facts ought to be long in the article.
  • "Processed pizza cheese is manufactured to produce preferable qualities...." - not sure about "preferable qualities" - how about "Processed pizza cheese provides a better...."?
  • "Many studies and experiments have analyzed the impact" - rather than saying "Many studies", it would be better to link a few specific ones
  • "In 1997 it was estimated that annual production of pizza cheese was 2 billion pounds in the United States and 200 million pounds in Europe, and in 2000 demand for pizza cheese in Europe was increasing by 8% per year." - these figures are rather out of date, have we got anything for demand in the 2010s? Given MacDonalds menu has done a significant volte face in the last 15 years, providing salads and (at least superficially) healthier options, I dare say demand may have changed to reflect this.
  • Source searches (e.g. [1]) are not readily providing a great deal of more recent information. However, I was able to find a source stating that increases in pizza cheese production and consumption "has continued into the first decade of the 21st century" (source). This has been added to the article (diff). North America1000 22:30, 12 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

More comments to follow. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:52, 12 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Varieties and types

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  • "Most pizza cheeses are" - shouldn't this be "Most pizza cheese is", or maybe "Most varieties of pizza cheese are"?
  • "with different moisture and fat densities" - do you really need three citations for this, also the middle one of the three doesn't appear to be directly anything about pizza cheese
  • "Provolone is the second most popular pizza cheese, and is sometimes mixed with Mozzarella" - this information in the second paragraph has already been mentioned in a different way in this first one
  • "A diverse variety of processed cheese and analogue pizza cheeses are produced." - I don't understand what this sentence means
  • "a combination of Mozzarella and Cheddar may blister less when cooked compared to other combinations" - it would be worth mentioning (as the source does) that is is due to the small elasticity
  • "many mass-produced pizzas in North America, the United Kingdom[20] and elsewhere." - where specifically?
  • Do you really need five citations to cite analogue / analog pizza cheese?
  • "It has been stated that analogue pizza cheese appears to be the leading type of cheese analogue produced globally" - rather than a vague claim, I think this would be better as a specific opinion - who exactly thinks analogue pizza cheese is the production leader?
  • "They may lack in a fusion, or melting together of the shredded product when cooked" - I don't understand what this means
  • "Rennet casein-based Mozzarella-like imitation processed cheeses" - this is a very wordy and roundabout way of saying what appears to be "fake Mozzarella", can we think of a better way of saying this?
  • I have copy edited this, but the sentence in part expounds upon the previous sentence regarding analogue pizza cheeses prepared with casein, including information about how rennet is used in some. Changing it in the above manner would not really state anything, because it would not expound. North America1000 20:08, 15 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "causes the proteins in the mix to gelatinize" - I wonder if a link to Gelatin#Uses would be helpful

More in a mo Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 16:43, 15 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Research and development

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  • "Several patents exist for specialized varieties of it and for its processing" - what is it in this context?
  • "A study by Rudan and Barbano" - who are Rudan and Barbano? Similarly, who is "Perry (et al.)"? I'm a little concerned the information is sourced from a single report of tests against cheese and then presented as hard facts - I'd rather see if there is another source available regarding vegetable oil experiments, or failing that, attribute it specifically to this book. This is particularly important for scientific claims, which are a special part of the GA criteria.
  • What is "vetch-bovine" milk?
  • "but that the improvements were very slight and not economical" - I'm sure there's a better way of writing this, maybe "but results did not show any worthwhile improvement"
  • In this instance I have rewritten the sentence to slightly expound; it now states, "Research published in Dairy Industries International suggested that denatured whey proteins increased moisture retention, but that the improvements were very slight and not economically worthwhile relative to the minor improvements." (diff). North America1000 11:00, 17 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Production and development

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  • "the production and consumption of pizza cheese in the United states steadily increased in the mid 1900s" - the source doesn't seem to match this claim. Are you absolutely sure that pizza cheese was established in the US in 1909 - this is decades before modern fast food as we know it today.
  • I think the confusion here is the phrase "mid 1900s", which I interpret as being the years 1900-1909 and nothing more. Do you mean "mid-20th century" ie: c. 1945-1955, which I find a much more believable timeframe for pizza cheese taking off? Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 11:23, 17 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "that annual production of the product was 1 million tons" - be careful, the source says "tonne", meaning the metric tonne, not "ton", which may mean a number of things depending on whereabouts in the world you are. I would re-check all the weight / measure figures you've listed here carefully; use the {{convert}} template if you can, as it gets calculations right. I can help in this area if you get stuck.
  • Thanks for finding this. The {{Convert}} template does not appear to convert tonnes to pounds, so I manually performed the calculations using 2,204.6 pounds per one tonne, per the conversion in the tonne article. I used the convert template to convert tonnes to tons, and after this then substituted the convert template to manually include pounds within the parentheses in the article. Diffs: [3], [4], [5], [6]. North America1000 11:17, 17 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Use by region

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  • This section is too biased towards the US. Can you find examples in Europe in particular?

More later tonight, hopefully. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 17:27, 16 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, I've gone through the article now and addressed everything I can find, making copyedits where necessary. I'll have a read through your responses in depth and we should hopefully be in a state to pass the review once they are all addressed. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 11:22, 17 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Right, I've had a look through and I think this can now pass the review and be listed. Sorry about the wait! Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 18:49, 21 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]