Talk:Piru Singh/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: AustralianRupert (talk · contribs) 12:40, 10 December 2016 (UTC)

Comments

• I did a little copy editing, but to be honest there is more to be done. Please read through the article and try to tighten up the grammar a bit
• the Early life section seems very light on, is there anything else that could be added? For instance, schooling, siblings, etc?
• there is a large part of the subject's military career that is not covered: 1936 to 1947 should be fleshed out more, if possible. For instance, where did he serve during World War II? Did he see combat, etc?
• "captured a ring contour": is there a link that you can provide the reader that explains "ring contour"?
• "enemy": this is a pejorative term and should largely be avoided, please try to replace this where you can with a more specific term
• "The rank of Company Havildar Major is no longer in use with the Indian Army", perhaps add to the note what it has been replaced with/what it is equivalent to? Also, there is no need to repeat this note three times. Once is enough.
  • Looking at this one again, I wonder about your use of the term "rank" when describing the Company Havildar Major. CSM in other British Commonwealth countries is an appointment, not a rank (e.g usually soldiers with the rank of Warrant Officer II are appointed as a CSM). Are we sure that this wasn't the case here? AustralianRupert (talk) 03:06, 12 December 2016 (UTC)
• "...adopting the battle cry, "Raja Ramchandra Ki Jai"..." could the English translation of this please be added?
• "The Shipping Corporation of India (SCI), a Government of India enterprise operating under the aegis of Ministry of Shipping, named fifteen of her crude oil tankers in honour of the Param Vir Chakra recipients". When was this? Perhaps added the relevant decade, for instance: "In the 1980s, the Shipping Corporation of India (SCI), a Government of India enterprise operating under the aegis of Ministry of Shipping, named fifteen of her crude oil tankers in honour of the Param Vir Chakra recipients..."
• there are currently only two works listed in the References section, are there any others that might be relevant? If so, perhaps you could create a Further reading section?
• [1]: seems to be a dead link. Is there an archived version you can link to?
• did Singh have a family? Was he survived by a wife/children? AustralianRupert (talk) 13:20, 10 December 2016 (UTC)

@AustralianRupert: I wonder that I did not receive a any notification that review has been started on my talk page. I found about this review as I was just passing by the nominations. Anyway, I addressed your comments. Please have a look. Regards, Krishna Chaitanya Velaga (talk • mail) 13:55, 11 December 2016 (UTC)

@Krishna Chaitanya Velaga: Sorry I forgot to check if the bot had notified you. Your changes look good, I've made a couple of tweaks here and there, and have one final query (above) about the CHM / CSM rank/appointment. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 03:06, 12 December 2016 (UTC)

@AustralianRupert: The CHM/CSM is a rank. But it is no longer used, it was abolished. See Army ranks and insignia of India. Any idea about the bot failure? Regards, Krishna Chaitanya Velaga (talk • mail) 03:45, 12 December 2016 (UTC)

No worries, thanks for the link. Passing the article now. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 05:12, 12 December 2016 (UTC)

Criteria

• It is reasonably well written.

  a (prose): b (MoS):

• It is factually accurate and verifiable.

  a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

• It is broad in its coverage.

  a (major aspects): b (focused):

• It follows the neutral point of view policy.

  a (fair representation): b (all significant views):

• It is stable.

  No edit wars etc.:

• It contains images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.

  a (tagged and captioned): b (Is illustrated with appropriate images): c (non-free images have fair use rationales): d public domain pictures appropriately demonstrate why they are public domain:

• Overall:

  a Pass/Fail: