Talk:Pierroth Jr.

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Pierroth Jr./GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 19:58, 25 September 2019 (UTC)

Will be happy to review this article. MWright96 (talk) 19:58, 25 September 2019 (UTC)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Lead

• "best known under the ring name Pierroth Jr." - try to avoid using the term "best known"
• Mexican and Spanish need to be delinked per MOS:OVERLINK
• "using the name Pierroth Jr. but lost his mask as a result of losing a match to La Parka in 1998." - better; He to avoid WP:EDITORIALIZING
• "leader of a faction of pro-Puerto Rican wrestlers in CMLL known as Los Boricuas, despite being born in Mexico." - would be better worded as notwithstanding him being born in Mexico to avoid the use of the editoralising word "despite" per the MOS standard above
• "After having suffered a stroke in November 2008" - suffering a stroke
• "and International Wrestling Revolution Group (IWRG) as well as making several tours with the Puerto Rico-based World Wrestling Council (WWC)." - This is better gramatically and International Wrestling Revolution Group (IWRG). He also undertook several tours with the Puerto Rico-based World Wrestling Council (WWC).

Professional wrestling career

• "inspired by the wrestler Pierrot who was popular in Arena Isabel in the 1950s and 1960s despite not being related in any way - to avoid editoralizing, how about wording the text in bold to in the 1950s and 1960s; the two are unrelated.
• "The team with El Judio later let to a storyline feud" - typo; led

Empresa Mexicana de Lucha Libre / Consejo Mundial de Luch Libre (1985–1995)

• "splitting his time between working at Arena Isabel and working for EMLL in Mexico City." - better and more concise: diving his career to Arena Isabel and EMLL in Mexico City.
• "Pierroth Jr. became a two-time Mexican National Light Heavyweight Champion on January 12, 1990 as he defeated Mogur to win the title." - with a victory over Mogur to win the title.
• "Pierroth Jr. began teaming with Bestia Salvaje on a regular basis in late 1989/early 1990" - Do you mean from late 1989 to early 1990 or around around late 1989 to early 1990?
• "Their reign lasted 287 until they were defeated by Ángel Azteca" - I believe the missing word in this sentence is days after the number "287"
• "Afterwards he was put together with Jaque Mate and Masakre to for a trio called" - the sentence should be worded as Afterward he was put together Jaque Mate and Masakre to form a trio called
• "after which Los Intocables was broken up." - needs to be cited to a reliable source
• "On April 2, 1993, Dr. Wagner Jr. ended the reign by defeating Pierroth Jr." - would be better as Pierroth Jr.'s reign was ended by Dr. Wagner Jr.

Asistencia Asesoría y Administración / World Wrestling Federation (1995–1997)

• "In the summer of 1996 Pierroth Jr. won" - try not to word the text in bold in this way per MOS:SEASON
• "The following month he teamed up with" - just teamed would suffice
• "(WWF; now known as WWE)" - now called
• "The duo participated in the 1997 Royal Rumble match but were eliminated without any storylines." - better and more neutral and were eliminated without a storyline.

International Wrestling Revolution Group / World Wrestling Council (1997-1999)

• "based on Naucalpan, Mexico State." - grammatically correct: based in
• "He became the first ever holder of the IWRG Intercontinental Heavyweight Championship" - more formal: inaugural
• "On July 20, 1998 Pierroth Jr. lost a Lucha de Apuestas match to long time rival La Parka, and was forced to remove his black and yellow mask and reveal his real name," - the text in bold should begin a new sentence and started with He was required
• "but was still working under a mask in Puerto Rico," - more neutral word he was still working

Los Boricuas (1999–2003)

• "He began teaming up with Gran Markus Jr. who also adopted the "Boricua" loyalty." - a little better He began teaming with Gran Markus Jr., who also adopted the "Boricua" loyalty.

Retirement

• "Salgrado was forced to retire from professional wrestling in November 2008" - typo; Salgado
• "after having suffered a debilitating stroke." - a little more concise: after suffering a
• "Shows in his hometown of Cuernavaca also paid home and support to Salgado." - I believe it is meant the crowd paid homage to Salgrado
• Also in the sentence above SuperLuchas does not specially say that the shows were supporting Salgado. - Original Research

• Which one? The sources state (in order) Función a beneficio de Norberto Salgado - it is right there in the title isn't it that it was a benefit show for him? MPJ-DK (talk) 22:49, 18 October 2019 (UTC)

• "where he was presented with a plaque and applause as he put the black and yellow mask on" - and received applause

Name confusion

• "or variations on that name, in professional wrestling." - or variatons of the name in professional wrestling.
• The fourth and fifth bullet points require a period to end the respective sentences.

Professional wrestling persona

• "for his long, vitriolic promos both in the ring and back stage." - Is the word promotions meant. If so it should be changed accordingly.
• "while putting pressure on their legs at the same time." - better: and simultaneously putting pressure on their legs.

Footnotes

• All of the three footnotes require a reliable source to cite the information
• Note three: "The match also lincluded" typo: included
• Also, the forward slash in the third note is redundant and should be replaced with a period

References

• References 5, 25, 27 require the page numbers that state the information contained within the article
• The italic or bold markup error in Reference 21 needs to be addressed
• Reference 33 needs to have the work that published the information

There are some minor issues, albeit none of them are of severe enough to warrant an immediate fail. Will put on hold until the issues regarding the article have been adequately addressed. MWright96 (talk) 07:21, 26 September 2019 (UTC)

• Addressed the footnote and reference issues. All three notes are sourced next to where it is used, is that sufficent or do they need to actually be INSIDE the note? MPJ-DK (talk) 01:55, 1 October 2019 (UTC)
  • The reference has to be inside and outside the reference per WP:REFNEST. MWright96 (talk) 16:35, 1 October 2019 (UTC)
    • Sorry for the delay, I will get that fixed. MPJ-DK (talk) 05:57, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
    • MWright96 fixed the reference issue. Will tackle the rest of the commentsnow. again I do appreciate your patience with this. MPJ-DK (talk) 22:44, 18 October 2019 (UTC)

• I believe I have addressed all comments and concerns. MPJ-DK (talk) 23:01, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
  • @MPJ-DK: Am a month late at replying to this but nevertheless am satisfied with the work put in to improve in this article and will promote accordingly. MWright96 (talk) 11:26, 18 November 2019 (UTC)