Talk:Pete Astudillo/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Nominator: AJona1992 (talk · contribs) 16:28, 15 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: ZKang123 (talk · contribs) 09:33, 2 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I'm taking this.

My first impression is that the lead is a bit too long. Plus initially I was confused what you actually mean by "Selena's sound".

Some bits could be further condensed to focus more on the singer himself. Like Widely considered to be Selena's signature song and her "trademark", "Como la Flor" has become part of the Texas musical cannon. could be cut.

In fact that's perhaps the problem with the lead: it seems to be a blow-by-blow account of the songs he composed and how each are significant, rather than about his life.

I recommend restructuring the lead based on Lady Gaga's article.
However, I say there's quite some potential in the content, most of which are attributed to local newspapers. I might give the body a thorough lookthrough.

Pedro Astudillo was born on December 1, 1963, at the Las Palmas ranch in Laredo, Texas,[1][2] to Mexican immigrants from Guerrero, Mexico,[3] Pedro and Paz Astudillo.[4] Pedro and Paz immigrated to the United States in 1962 – Could be rewritten as: Pedro Astudillo was born on December 1, 1963, at the Las Palmas ranch in Laredo, Texas.[1][2] His parents, Pedro and Paz Astudillo,[4] are Mexican immigrants from Guerrero,[3] and arrived in the United States in 1962.

but rather a serendipitous discovery – is this something said by the singer himself? Would attribute and write in quotes

It was rephrased; he stated that his singing abilities came as a surprise to him. – jona ✉ 22:14, 3 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

In 1985, Astudillo revealed his aspirations to his family, surprising them by announcing his pursuit of a music career, a passion he had concealed until then. – In 1985, Astudillo revealed his aspirations to his family, who was surprised as he had not previously disclosed his passion for music with them.

Astudillo and Ojeda considered quitting the music industry, feeling overwhelmed by its challenges. – swap the clauses

Astudillo described it as a stroke of luck, feeling they were in the right place at the right time. – again will attribute

It was rephrased from his original interview. – jona ✉ 22:14, 3 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Los Bad Boyz's performance made a positive impression on Selena y Los Dinos and Abraham – Would add "however" at the beginning

Thanks for tackling this one. I look forward to the rest of your review. Best – jona ✉ 22:14, 3 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]