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Talk:Pennsylvania Route 790

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GA Review

[edit]
This review is transcluded from Talk:Pennsylvania Route 790/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
  1. Lead: add "the United States." RD: remove bullet. "after starting." = bad structure. "right back" - back just makes it harder to understand. Two sentences starting with "In Hemlock Grove". "At Running Bear Lane, the alignment leaves Hemlock Grove and into Greentown, " - goes into Greentown? "did not last to the 1950's" seems a bit obvious. Local control being the county? Do you need to link decommissioned?
  2. We don't know that the route was decommissioned in 1946; we just know that it was decommissioned by 1946. At least, that's how I read it based on the sources. That's the biggest sourcing problem; I'm also concerned about the points brought up in Dave's essay related to map sourcing.
  3. Neutral, broad, stable (1 edit!?). Picture of the road would be nice.

On hold Prose needs some cleanup, but I don't feel comfortable passing the article with the history as it is. --Rschen7754 (T C) 05:01, 7 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I agree, 1 revision doesn't constitute a stable article history. –Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 15:01, 7 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I don't think that should be an issue. Sometimes I check my work in a word processor or the sandbox before copying it over, for instance; this article looks about the same quality as any other of his road articles. Gary King (talk) 15:06, 7 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I don't mind that it's only 1 revision; I was just surprised. --Rschen7754 (T C) 18:59, 7 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
True, but given the number of prose issues, it seems that Mitchazenia didn't tend to the article after he wrote it. –Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 19:21, 7 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Some more prose issues I noticed:
  • The highway's southern terminus was with State Route 290 south of Hemlock Grove. - "With" → "at".
  • The highway went northward along Hemlock Grove Road - Surely there's a better word in replacement for "went".
  • The highway was assigned in 1930 and decommissioned in the 1946 mass deletion of state highways within the Commonwealth. - A bit over-dramatized. Why not just, "The highway was assigned in 1930 and decommissioned in the 1946 removal of state highways."?
  • The alignment of State Route 790 began at an intersection with State Route 290 about 1 mile (1.6 km) south of Hemlock Grove. - Why does this start with "The alignment of State Route 790", rather than simple "State Route 790"?
  • (The current southern terminus is with State Route 447.) - Again, "with" → "at".
  • The highway currently goes to the northeast, intersecting with Log Cabin Road, a dead-end highway, and Liberty Lane, another dead-end, after starting. - Poor wording and sentence structure. First, "goes" is a very weak word. Also, must there be a comma every two words?
  • After Liberty Lane, the former alignment of State Route 790 heads through a straight line of trees. - What is a "straight line of trees"?
  • There is a short clearing for some houses, but this changes right back before the intersection with Roemerville Road. - There's really no reason to mention houses. At any given location, chances are there's a house nearby. Also, "but this changes right back" is far from encyclopedic language.
  • At Turkey Run Road, there are some more houses, as the highway enters the southern limits of Hemlock Grove. - Ditto with the houses.
  • In Hemlock Grove, the old alignment intersects with Valleyview Road, a short loop road in the community. - Wouldn't it be, "the old alignment intersected"?
  • In Hemlock Grove, there are some houses surrounding the tree line, with intersections with small, minor highways occurring. - Again with the houses. Another thing; I never knew a highway could "occur"...
  • At Running Bear Lane, the alignment leaves Hemlock Grove and into Greentown, which is populated by trees. - Why not just say "the road leaves"?
  • The highway crosses a creek that flows into Lake Wallenpaupack, intersecting with a simultaneously-named highway just after. - Incorrect usage of the word "simultaneously".
  • The final intersection is with Brink Hill Road before the alignment of former State Route 790 at State Route 507 (Lake Wallenpaupack Road) in Greentown. - "The final intersection" → "The ending terminus".
  • Along with most of the higher-numbered routes in Pennsylvania, State Route 790 was not assigned in the mass numbering of highways in 1928. - What is a "higher-numbered route"? Anything about 50? 100?
  • The highway remained intact for over a decade, but did not last to the 1950s,[5] as the Pennsylvania Department of Highways decommissioned State Route 790 in 1946. - Yeah, if it was decommissioned in 1946, it probably didn't last until 1950; you could probably remove that part.

Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 19:31, 7 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Done with EVERY single comment on this page.Mitch32(Go Syracuse) 02:40, 11 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Still have some issues with the prose and sourcing (on my part). JC should probably make sure his objections were addressed. --Rschen7754 (T C) 03:58, 11 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Done.Mitch32(Go Syracuse) 23:28, 11 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The prose is looking better, but I really think some non-map sources should be added. Check old newspapers, Google Books, etc. –Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 23:57, 11 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]