Talk:Paper Mario/GA3

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 00:35, 17 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I'll get to this soon. ♦ jaguar 00:35, 17 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Jaguar, Man, the amount of GANs you've reviewed deserves a barnstar. Come to think of it... P anini ^🥪 00:50, 17 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Apologies for the delay. I've had a manic past few days with studying. I'll finish the review tomorrow. ♦ jaguar 21:15, 21 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Jaguar, No problems with the delay. I'm open today to addressing the comments, too. P anini ^🥪 13:18, 22 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

"After Intelligent Systems was expanded to an official company" - sounds a bit vague; what does official company mean? Something like an independent developer?
Done.
"However, changes in development led the game to be Paper Mario, which was not a sequel" - sounds clunky. Try something like However, changes in development led the game to be Paper Mario, a standalone title
Done.
"The series later received multiple sequels" - instalments is more fitting
Done.
"This led the series to slowly change from role-playing games to more the action-adventure genre" - This led the series to slowly transition from role-playing games to the action-adventure genre
Done.
"The new style received mixed reception" - games such as? When did this new style materialise?
Done.
"with complaints regarding the new genre style" - repetition of 'style'
Done.

Gameplay

"*All games except Super Paper Mario feature a turn-based combat system" - can this game be linked?

Done.
"XP is still awarded for defeating enemies" - I thought experience points in these games were known as SP?
"each game has a unique strategy element in lieu of XP." - same here
Every secondary source keeps it simple and speaks of XP. Additionally, there's a little "known in-game as Star Points, or SP" in there, too.

Spin-off games

"The game is a crossover between the Paper Mario series and Nintendo's other sub-series, Mario & Luigi" - ~~link?~~ nevermind, just discovered the series doesn't have an article

Development

"Nintendo hired more employees and expanded the company to Intelligent Systems" - unclear. Did they transfer employees to Intelligent Systems, or form the company as an offshoot then and there?
Done.
"on the Super NES" - best to write the proper name Super Nintendo Entertainment System (SNES) in the first instance
Done.
"and was cited to be the direct sequel to the previous game" - was it the direct sequel? Is there any reason to say it was 'cited'?

Yes it was, and I changed some wording. Done.

Reception

I think the second and third paragraphs could be merged as it's the same game. Also, I would move the awards sentence ("The Thousand Year Door won "Role Playing Game of the Year" at the 2005 Interactive Achievement Awards") to the end of the newly-merged paragraph
I'm not sure what you mean, the second paragraph is about TTYD and the third is about Super Paper Mario.

This is a solid article; it is well-written, comprehensive and the prose generally flows well. The references are also all in check and the images are fine. I've done some minor formatting so hope that's OK. Once all of the above are out of the way I'll be happy to promote this. ♦ jaguar 21:23, 22 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Jaguar, Fixed the issues and left some comments on the others. P anini ^🥪 11:00, 23 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry, I must have misread the paragraphs in the reception section. Thanks for addressing them quickly, by all means this let's promote this.

♦ jaguar 22:04, 23 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]