Talk:Old Music and the Slave Women/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 10:55, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): Very well written. b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): A clear and full set of RSs. b (citations to reliable sources): Densely cited to RSs. c (OR): No evidence of OR. d (copyvio and plagiarism): All Earwig issues are correctly attributed quotes.
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): All of the areas one would expect to be covered are, with appropriate weight. b (focused): Stays on track.
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias: Maintains a balanced PoV. Every opinion is sourced.
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.: Only contributions by the nominator since it was created.
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): Difficult to find an appropriate image as it was never published stand-alone. But, also no infobox - see discussion below. The image of the author just scrapes it over the threshold of this criteria. b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail: An exceptionally well written article. Densely referenced, with a succinct but informative introduction and plot summary and pulling together all of the more noted views of the story. Good work. Gog the Mild (talk) 14:33, 21 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Vanamonde93. A good looking article. This shouldn't be too much trouble. Some issues below from a quick skim. I'll let you have a look at them and I hope to be back to go through the article in detail in a day or two. Gog the Mild (talk) 11:26, 21 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Gog the Mild: Cheers: I've addressed your comments. Vanamonde (talk) 12:20, 21 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The article needs an image. Of the book cover is the easy option - see other articles on Le Guin novels.

Slight issue here; this was never published as a standalone, so I'm not sure it would qualify for a fair use rationale on one of the collections' covers. I've added an image of the author.

Fair point. I had forgotten. I shouldn't have; my version is in Far Horizons. OK. Add an infobox and that will do.

Publisher locations are missing for two of the sources.

Fixed.

"Esdan is clandestinely approached by the rebellion". Possibly '... by agents of the rebels' or something similar? I don't think that a rebellion, as an impersonal entity, can approach someone.

Agreed. Replaced with "messengers", as I think that's closer to the source material.

"He is intercepted by government forces as he attempts to cross into rebel territory, roughed up, and imprisoned in a great slave estate". '... on a great...'?

Done, and also replaced "great" with "large": I'd rather avoid the ambiguity.

"... describe a society that has the potential to build a "truly human community", and the possibility of utopia.[30] This is made possible by the Ekumen's recognition of the slaves as human beings, thus offering them the possibility of freedom." Three variants of 'possible' in a sentence and a half. Not a GA fail issue, but it would read better if tidied up.

Good point. Tweaked one, will see if I can reword another.

"Cadden writes that Esdan eventually finds a sense of belonging along with the slaves..." Possibly I am being slow, but I am not sure what this means. That he and the slaves both find a sense of belonging? That he finds that he belongs with them? Or something else?

He means a sense of community; does that work better?

"Cadden described the story as sharing similarity with Le Guin's works set in Orsinia." similarities.

Done

One or two too many colons and semi colons for my taste, but that is certainly not a GA issue.

Yeah, I've a tendency to write long sentences. Trimmed a couple.

A really well written article. I have now started re-reading the five stories. Sort out the issues above and we are done. Gog the Mild (talk) 13:03, 21 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Gog the Mild: Done, cheers! Vanamonde (talk) 13:57, 21 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Vanamonde93: An infobox please. See last sentence of green text above. (I saw you working and have already completed the template as a pass!) Gog the Mild (talk) 14:03, 21 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Gog the Mild: Yeah, just realised I missed that point. Are you going to be particularly upset if I resist your suggestion on that? I'm okay with infoboxes in general, but I prefer to avoid them when the information included therein would be minimal. Regards, Vanamonde (talk) 14:20, 21 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Ho hum. Well, I would definitely include an infobox. But it is not about me. I suppose that skipping it is within the bounds of what a reasonable editor might choose to do, and you so choose. OK.

Well picked up on the peacock word which I let through.
You dropped the colon count just for me: thank you.
PS Great articles on Left Hand of Darkness and Starship Troopers.

Gog the Mild (talk) 14:33, 21 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Many thanks! Vanamonde (talk) 15:17, 21 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Vanamonde93. You are welcome. If you want to quid pro quo, feel free. (I have six GANs queued up. Sigh.) Gog the Mild (talk) 16:03, 21 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]