Talk:Nazario Moreno González/GA1
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Reviewer: Daniel Case (talk · contribs) 06:21, 21 March 2013 (UTC) OK, now that Niemti has withdrawn his KOF XIII nom because of his block, I have picked this as the oldest unreviewed nom. I will be printing it out, possibly doing any light copy editing that needs to be done, and I should be back soon. Daniel Case (talk) 06:21, 21 March 2013 (UTC)
- Thank you, Daniel. I'll be around if you need anything. Cheers. ComputerJA (talk) 07:16, 21 March 2013 (UTC)
- OK, I just did a copy edit that took care of most of my concerns. It's a short article, but I realize there aren't a lot of sources on his life beyond his criminal career. So, with that in mind ...
- If you give his nickname in the lede, explain what El Chayo means. Ditto for the section with all the other nicks at the end.
Done I tried to look online for the meaning of Chayo, but I couldn't find anything. The nickname is usually given to people with the name "Rosario" (Rosary), but I don't know why Nazario is called like that. Therefore, I removed it from the lead; I hope this is fine. Also, the aliases at the bottom have their English translation, expect for El Doctor (which is self-explanatory) and El Chayo.
- The last graf of the intro is a little short. It would make a nice concluding sentence to note that his body hasn't been found although his death is presumed despite claims of his survival.
Done Good point.
- At the end of "Philanthropy", it would be nice to know who said that. And probably a good idea not to have the sentence as a stand-alone graf. Instead, integrate it into one of the other grafs.
Done I integrated the sentence to the paragraph. Also, I reworded the quote in my own words to avoid attribution. Curious readers can click on the link if they are concerned with the source that made the claim. Can this work, too?
- Do we need to use "reportedly" and "allegedly" so much?
Done I guess that's just a tendency of mine. Nazario was never trialled after he left prison in Texas, so all his criminal workings after he fled to Mexico are allegations until proven in court. I'm okay if you feel some uses of the words "reportedly" and "allegedly" need to be removed.
- Putting on hold for now. Daniel Case (talk) 05:37, 10 April 2013 (UTC)
- OK, I just did a copy edit that took care of most of my concerns. It's a short article, but I realize there aren't a lot of sources on his life beyond his criminal career. So, with that in mind ...
Thank you for taking the time to review the article. You work is greatly appreciated! ComputerJA (talk) 14:39, 10 April 2013 (UTC)
- Passing; concerns have been addressed. Daniel Case (talk) 21:02, 10 April 2013 (UTC)