Talk:National Intelligence and Security Service/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: CtasACT (talk · contribs) 19:22, 3 September 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: AirshipJungleman29 (talk · contribs) 23:24, 14 September 2024 (UTC)

This review was requested by the nominator on my talkpage. Unfortunately, the article is very far away from the GA criteria and even meets the quickfail criteria. I will outline a few reasons why:

• There is extensive close paraphrasing, an extremely serious problem. Take the following lines:

The bill also incorporates an article that will prevent all officers of agency from having any affiliation with political parties so that the intelligence service operation is fully independent and has professional integrity. The officers and the intelligence service, in general, will not have any engagement with activities supporting, promoting or influencing political objectives of any kind, advanced by any lawful political party, organization or group. The bill also plans to suspend the intelligence service from conducting any security vetting or monitoring works over legal political parties or institutions connected to the freedom of expression.

This is word-for-word copied from the source—absolutely unacceptable levels of plagiarism.

• There are entire sections of the article that are unsourced, failing GA criterion 2b).
  • In the sections that are cited, there is large amounts of original research not verified by the cited sources. In the "Derg era" subsection for example, only around half of the prose is verified by the cited source.
• The prose quality is very poor. To take the first paragraph of the lead:

The National Intelligence and Security Service (NISS) (Amharic: የብሔራዊ መረጃና ደህንነት አገልግሎት) is an Intelligence agency of the Ethiopian federal government tasked to defend, protect and advance the National Security and Interests of Ethiopia. It collects, analyze and disseminate intelligence for decision makers. It also is one of two national law enforcement agencies, in Ethiopia next to the Federal Police Commission. It tackles drug trafficking, cybercrime, arms trafficking, human, and other domestic or international organized crime.

• • In the first sentence: "Intelligence", "National", "Security", and "Interests" should not be capitalised.
  • In the second sentence: "analyze" and "disseminate" should end in an "s".
  • In the third sentence: there should be no comma after "agencies", and "next to" is syntactically incorrect.
  • The fourth sentence is good, but the problems, especially surrounding capitalisation, punctuation, and basic grammar/word choice, are endemic throughout the rest of the article.

I hope the nominator will take these issues seriously: note that continuing to closely paraphrasse especially might get you blocked. ~~ AirshipJungleman29 (talk) 23:24, 14 September 2024 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.