Talk:My Man (Tamar Braxton song)/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 21:42, 12 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Review arriving in the next days. Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:42, 12 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 22:33, 12 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

as the lead single from the album → you can use "record" here to not repeat yourself

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:32, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

It was produced by Bob Robinson Jr. → use "My Man" instead of "It" here as your previous sentence also starts with "it"

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:32, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

The song is a ballad and torch song; the lyrics are about infidelity and its negative impact on a relationship. → A torch song and ballad, it lyrically adressed infidelity and its negative impact on a relationship

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:32, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

number three on the Adult R&B Songs Billboard chart, at number nineteen on the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Airplay Billboard chart, and at number twenty-one on the Hot R&B Songs Billboard chart. → The single peaked at number three, 19 and 21 on Billboard's Adult R&B... Hip-Hop Airplay component charts, respectively.

Revised, though I did not change the numbers as they need to remain consistent in the same sentence. Aoba47 (talk) 23:48, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

I would capitalize "radio edit" to "Radio edit"

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:32, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Unlink "Blind" in the chronology as the article doesn't exist

Unlinked. Aoba47 (talk) 23:32, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Background and release

Unlink Tamar Braxton

I would prefer to keep it as it is the first time that Braxton is used in the body of the article. Aoba47 (talk) 23:39, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

"self-titled" is really not that encyclopedic, so I would replace it with "eponymous"

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:39, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

"My Man" was released on April 27, 2017; Braxton announced it through her official Instagram account → Did she announce it before or after the release? If it's before, you can say "...2017, preceded by an annoncement..." and if it was afterwards, use "...2017, followed by..."

I think it was done on the same day so I used the word "accompanied". Let me know if you would prefer something else. Aoba47 (talk) 23:39, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

about similar experiences → You need to contextualize "similar experiences". What do you mean by that?

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:39, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Braxton featured the track during → Braxton can't "feature" a track on a TV show. Use "It was used for..." instead.

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:39, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

which aired the same day. → you repeat yourself with "in the same day"

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:39, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

had played it for her father; she told him that → had played it for her father, whom she told that

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:39, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Lyrical interpretation

She connected the song's lyrics → The singer also connected the song's lyrics

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:42, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

called the song a "fiery torch song about → you say "song" two times here; replace the first instance with "it"

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:42, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

In the lead, you say the song was a ballad, but that is not included here

It is at the start of the third paragraph; the sentence is here (Billboard's Sadie Bell described "My Man" as an "emotional ballad"). Aoba47 (talk) 23:42, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

and The Boombox's Trent → replace "and" with "while"

Replaced. Aoba47 (talk) 23:46, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Libby Hill pointed to Braxton's → "pointed to" is not the right word choice here. Use "pointed out"

Revised. Aoba47 (talk)

"the next best break-up remedy since ice cream" → Haha

I like that quote too lol. It is a funny way of describing the song. I approve lol. Aoba47 (talk) 23:46, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Numbers above ten shouldn't be written out. Also, fix the "Billborard chart" repetition in a similar way to the lead

I have changed the numbers, but I think that the chart part as I want to keep the information on the weeks on the charts. Aoba47 (talk) 23:46, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Music video and promotion

The music video for "My Man" → This is an abrupt start for a section. Start with something like "An accompanying music video..."

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:49, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

video, Braxton goes to her lover's hotel room → use "the singer" here for alternation

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:49, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

before confronting him. After taking back her coat, Braxton leaves the hotel → before confronting him and taking back her coat to leave the hotel.

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:49, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Track listings

The plural in the title is superfluous

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:50, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Personnel

Flawless ;)

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 23:51, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Charts

Flawless ;)

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 23:51, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Release history

Fixed the table for you

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 23:52, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Other stuff

Copy-violation

29.6% is acceptable!

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 23:52, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

References

As far as I checked them, the references do cover the assertations made in this article

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Avoid shouting in ref no. 17

I changed it to better fit the title of the article. Thank you for pointing it out. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Fix "His His" issue in ref no. 27

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:57, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Outcome

Good job with the article! I've placed it On hold for 7 days to allow edits from you. Please ping me when you're ready. Best regards and good luck, Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:31, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Cartoon network freak: Thank you for the review. I greatly appreciate your help! Aoba47 (talk) 23:58, 13 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Glad to pass this! Congrats; Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:58, 14 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.