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GA Review

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Reviewer: Lee Vilenski (talk · contribs) 14:44, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]


Hello, I am planning on reviewing this article for GA Status, over the next couple of days. Thank you for nominating the article for GA status. I hope I will learn some new information, and that my feedback is helpful.

If nominators or editors could refrain from updating the particular section that I am updating until it is complete, I would appreciate it to remove a edit conflict. Please address concerns in the section that has been completed above (If I've raised concerns up to references, feel free to comment on things like the lede.)

I generally provide an overview of things I read through the article on a first glance. Then do a thorough sweep of the article after the feedback is addressed. After this, I will present the pass/failure. I may use strikethrough tags when concerns are met. Even if something is obvious why my concern is met, please leave a message as courtesy.

Best of luck! you can also use the {{done}} tag to state when something is addressed. Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs)

Please let me know after the review is done, if you were happy with the review! Obviously this is regarding the article's quality, however, I want to be happy and civil to all, so let me know if I have done a good job, regardless of the article's outcome.

Immediate Failures

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  • It is a long way from meeting any one of the six good article criteria -
  • It contains copyright infringements -
  • It has, or needs, cleanup banners that are unquestionably still valid. These include{{cleanup}}, {{POV}}, {{unreferenced}} or large numbers of {{citation needed}}, {{clarify}}, or similar tags. (See also {{QF-tags}}). -
  • It is not stable due to edit warring on the page. -
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Prose

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Lede

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  •  Done
  •  Done Have linked palm mute the first time it is used
  •  Done
  •  Done
  • Not a grammarian, but in this case "especially the trumpet and trombone" is set off by commas, so I think a comma is necessary?
  •  Done Thanks, I've been looking for a word that captures this
  •  Done I'm using it in the definition "make less strong or intense", so I reworded to "grasping a triangle to dampen its sound".
  •  Question: What exactly needs explanation? Would "flared, open end" help?
  •  Partly done Kept "the", since it is referring to a type of mute rather than a specific instance of a mute
  • You're right in that "Guitar" is a class of instruments, but for most people it implies a classical guitar which is higher pitched. I'll think about this.
  •  Done Linked as well
  •  Done

General

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  • Working on it.
  • Okay, I've tried to write a overview containing info in the lead that's not in the body.
  • Agreed, but I'm not sure where else to put it. I'll try working it into the violin-family and brass sections.
  • See above.
  •  Done I think I have fixed them
  •  Done
  •  Done Said "musical notation" specifically, which I think is sufficiently precise
  • Lots of repetition of words in this article - if you see the same word twice in a sentence, think how you could reword to avoid. Such as bell in "They are most often directly inserted into the instrument's bell, but can also be clipped or held onto the end of the bell". Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 15:39, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  •  Done I fixed the ones I could without introducing syntactic ambiguity in this diff. I'll keep this in mind for my future writing.
  •  Done All the ones I can find
  •  Done Wondering if there's an automated tool for that...
  •  Done
  • An early version of the harmon mute was patented by John F. Stratton in 1865,[31] and the mute in its modern form was patented[32] in 1925 by George Schluesselburg.[33] - can we move all these refs to the end of the sentence. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 15:48, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  •  Done
  •  Partly done I think the nickname is relevant because most sources refer to him as Paddy (including all the books I have on the topic), but I removed the death
  •  Done Rephrased to "... believe that dents on the mute's chamber improve sound..." For reference, this is what I'm talking about. The dents, at least in my experience, usually come from the mute falling out of the bell
  •  Question: In the second sentence of that section I wrote "By inserting their hand fully into the instrument, airflow is limited, producing a quiet and nasal sound." Is this enough?
  •  Done (Ely) says "Shaped like a felt hat, derby mutes are held over the bell, without touching it. Originally, old felt hats were used." I guess I'll add "or similarly shaped object", since (Koehler) also does say it can literally be a bowler hat.
  • Huzzah!
  •  Done Also changed Woodwinds to Woodwind
  •  Done Didn't know that, thanks
  •  Done
  •  Done fixed

GA Review

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GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Review meta comments

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