Talk:Murder of Sherri Rasmussen/GA1
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Reviewer: Mike Christie (talk · contribs) 16:54, 28 January 2018 (UTC)
I'll review this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 16:54, 28 January 2018 (UTC)
- There are a few dead links: see here.
- Thanks ... this will take a little more time to find the archived versions and add them to the footnotes. Daniel Case (talk) 05:44, 30 January 2018 (UTC)
In footnote a I think it should be "balanced", not "balancing", unless I'm misreading it.
- I changed it to "balances", since it's still good law and agrees with the subject. Daniel Case (talk) 05:18, 30 January 2018 (UTC)
take naked photographs of him while he slept
: suggest "take photographs of him naked while he slept".
Ruetten and Rasmussen were married in November 1985, but that did not stop Lazarus from inserting herself into their lives
: are all the events recounted earlier in this section prior to the marriage? If so, it would be good to add a couple of concrete examples here -- perhaps she continued to visit or call Ruetten, for example.
- I just took that out; the cited examples are indeed from prior to the engagement. I think I had written that before I understood that. Daniel Case (talk) 04:52, 30 January 2018 (UTC)
Nels Rasmussen and his wife, Loretta, told Mayer about Lazarus' harassment,[9] although Mayer claims otherwise
: putting it this way gives preference to the Rasmussen's version, since we don't say "claim" for their version. Is that supported by the sources?
- I added more detail about what exactly Nels Rasmussen says transpired between him and Mayer, and clarified that according to the LA Times article Mayer told police he and Nels never discussed Lazarus. Then I replaced the coordinating conjunction with a semicolon; there's less inadvertent implied POV that way. Good eye, calling that out. Daniel Case (talk) 05:03, 30 January 2018 (UTC)
Lazarus briefly reunited with Ruetten in 1989; Mayer's notes show that Ruetten had called him and asked whether he still considered her a suspect
: other than the comment about Nels and Loretta telling Mayer about Lazarus, there's no indication that Mayer ever considered her a suspect, so asking if she's "still" a suspect is odd. Is it definite that Lazarus was at one point considered a suspect? If so I think that should be mentioned before this point.
- I have reworded it to more accurately reflect what Ruetten asked Mayer, according to the source. Daniel Case (talk) 05:10, 30 January 2018 (UTC)
We need an "As of" on the statement that Jennifer Francis's whistleblower suit is pending.
Done I didn't find any updates on it. Daniel Case (talk) 05:25, 30 January 2018 (UTC)
After the Rasmussens stipulated to dropping the federal claim with prejudice
: I think this is technical enough that we need an explanation inline.
Done, which forced/led to some necessary tightening of the surrounding paragraph. Daniel Case (talk) 05:35, 30 January 2018 (UTC)
That's everything I can find. The article is in excellent shape, and I will promote to GA once these minor points are addressed. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 17:48, 28 January 2018 (UTC)
I've struck everything except the dead links issue; let me know when that's taken care of and I'll promote the article. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 10:34, 30 January 2018 (UTC)
- I have not really been involved in editing this article but I helped by archiving the dead links. I hope it is covered now.BabbaQ (talk) 19:35, 30 January 2018 (UTC)
- @BabbaQ: Thank you! @Mike Christie: OK, looks ready now. Daniel Case (talk) 00:41, 31 January 2018 (UTC)
- Yes, everything looks good now. Passing. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 01:59, 1 February 2018 (UTC)
- @BabbaQ: Thank you! @Mike Christie: OK, looks ready now. Daniel Case (talk) 00:41, 31 January 2018 (UTC)