Talk:Mr. Eko/GA1
GA Review
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- Images: Most images use {{Non-free media rationale}} these days, but the fair use rationale is there, so strictly speaking, I can't complain for the purpose of this GAN
- Sources: okay
- Punctuation: terrible ;-) I think I reviewed one of your other GANs before and you already had major comma problems there as well. I didn't want to annoy you (and me) another time with listing all comma issues and simply fixed them all myself. (I probably still missed a bunch.)
- All other points of WP:GA? besides prose and punctuation: okay
General:
- The article gives little to no indication of time (e.g. season 2, 2005,...)
Lead:
- Instead of saying/quoting he is a "tailie", say he is a survivor from the tail section of the plane
- Normally, the lead should only contain information that is present again later on in the article. The toy mention poses a problem (although I do realize that it doesn't really fit elsewhere in the article either)
- Three sentences in the first paragraph begin with "after". (I'm just saying.)
- The first paragraph reads like Eko immediately died a few hours after the plane crash (probably beause there is so much emphasis on Eko's pre-island life there)
Prior to the crash:
- The first paragraph changes mid-sentence from simple past to simple present. You should review other Lost articles to see how they handle the tenses in flashbacks. (I'd have to look as well.)
The section still switches from simple past to simple present, now only in mid-paragraph. I've reviewed Nikki and Paulo, Ben Linus and Martin Keamy, and they all handle the flashbacks differently. But the article should really stick to one tense for the flashbacks. – sgeureka t•c 15:36, 28 March 2009 (UTC)
- I tried to changed all the past sentences to present.Tintor2 (talk) 16:00, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
- "Oceanic Airlines flight 815" -> "Oceanic Airlines Flight 815"(?)
- I'd add where the "Mr." in Eko's name came from in in-universe terms (just a quick note like "Eko adopts the title "Mr." when he is with the bad guys)
After the crash
- "After proving their innocence, and Michael's disappearance prior to leaving the Arrow station, Eko helps Jin find him and bring him back." - I know the show quite well, but I really have no idea what the sentence wants to tell me.
- "As he discovers that the survivors have one of the others captured in the hatch" - no easter-egg linking please (it doesn't show up when you print a page, and it's not helpful for the reader unless he clicks on it or moves his mouse over the link). "Henry Gale" is mentioned a few sentences later, so your solution needs to pay attention to that
- Generally, this section makes huge assumptions that the reader is already familiar with Lost. It's probably written to say what Eko did in every episode, but a better approach would be to drop everything that is not directly important to help the non-Lost-fan reader with understanding the important things. E.g. I'd say it's not important to say who exactly Eko was with after the plain crash, or that he baptized Aaron and Claire. Again, no time references (season 2, season 3) are given to aid in putting everything into (real-world) perspective.
- You wrote "fifth day", but may have meant "fiftieth day". Please check if I assumed that correctly. – sgeureka t•c 15:36, 28 March 2009 (UTC)
Personality
- I've added a {{who}} - if you don't want to name the person, at least say if it's a critic, a producer or a fellow actor etc.
- "Mr. Eko dedicates himself to pushing the button in the hatch,[1] this is, as portrayer Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje explains, because, for Mr. Eko, the hatch is the answer to the mystery of life.[16]" - very complicated sentences to read and understand because of its discontinuous structure
Development
- "play a character with a different faith than his own" - does the source say what the respective faiths are (I once heard AAA was a Buddhist)
- "Akinnuoye-Agbaje felt that Eko's that in "The Cost of Living" made the character "complete"," - something wrong here
- "Although Cuse later said that he would have preferred the character to remain on the show a little longer.[23]" - "although" requires the sentence to go on
Please address the above issues within the next seven days and drop a note here when you feel you are done (I have it on my watchlist). Until then, I am putting this article on hold. – sgeureka t•c 23:49, 27 March 2009 (UTC)
- Well, I tried my best to fix your concerns, I don't know what to do with the Toy Figure link, maybe move it to the development section? Thanks.--Music26/11 13:05, 28 March 2009 (UTC)
- I left two notes above that you should attempt to fix before I promote the article. For further reference, I'll also make you aware of that you have used "Eko's dead" three times when you wanted to say "Eko's death" (all fixed now, but you should know). – sgeureka t•c 15:36, 28 March 2009 (UTC)
- Tintor2 resolved the tense issue, so I have promoted the article. – sgeureka t•c 07:25, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
- I left two notes above that you should attempt to fix before I promote the article. For further reference, I'll also make you aware of that you have used "Eko's dead" three times when you wanted to say "Eko's death" (all fixed now, but you should know). – sgeureka t•c 15:36, 28 March 2009 (UTC)