Talk:Mitchell Gourley/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 17:10, 9 April 2014 (UTC)
I'll take up this review as part of the chain of Paralympians submitted in past few days. I mainly focus on copy editing issues. Given the size of these articles the GAR itself should not take too long so I will leave down some initial comments on these articles within 48 hours. Thanks! ☠ Jaguar ☠ 17:10, 9 April 2014 (UTC)
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
- Is it reasonably well written?
- Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
- A. References to sources:
- It is well referenced.
- B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
- C. No original research:
- A. References to sources:
- Is it broad in its coverage?
- A. Major aspects:
- B. Focused:
- A. Major aspects:
- Is it neutral?
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- Is it stable?
- No edit wars, etc:
- No edit wars, etc:
- Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
- A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
- A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- Overall:
- Pass or Fail:
- Pass or Fail:
Initial comments
[edit]Lead
[edit]- "is an Australian Paralympic alpine skier participating in the downhill, super-G, giant slalom, slalom and super combined events" - should this be in past tense or is he currently participating in those events now/this year?
- Mitch is only 22, he hasn't retired, and is still skiing, so that is true. Re-organized the lead to use the past tense consistently in the article.
- Other than this, the lead is adequate and complies per WP:LEAD!
Personal
[edit]- "Gourley was born on 2 June 1991, and is from Geelong, Victoria." - was he born in Geelong or is that where he lives/lived?
Done. Both. Re-worded. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:09, 12 April 2014 (UTC)
- "A congenital amputee who was born with his left forearm ending a few inches below his elbow" - this doesn't make any sense, shouldn't it be better put He was born a congenital amputee with his left forearm ending a few inches below his elbow?
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:09, 12 April 2014 (UTC)
- The prose of this section should be improved before it could pass the GAR!
- Done. Tightened the prose. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:09, 12 April 2014 (UTC)
Skiing
[edit]- I already mentioned this in the previous review but do you think this section could be renamed 'Career'? It doesn't really matter, I might be wrong...
- It's true that he doesn't do anything else, but it is possible that he may yet embark on another career. This shows up in Jessica Gallagher's article, as she is both a summer and a winter athlete. Leaving it this way makes the articles consistent, which will be good if I can get the whole set through GA. It will then become a Good Topic. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:09, 12 April 2014 (UTC)
- "Classified as LW6/8-2," - for readers unfamiliar to this, please could you explain what LW6/8-2 means in skiing?
- Done I wrote a whole article on the subject! It is linked. Added a one-sentence description. It means he's missing part of an arm. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:09, 12 April 2014 (UTC)
- "He was 30th in the giant slalom event" - finished? Or 'came'?
- Done Changed to "came". Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:09, 12 April 2014 (UTC)
- "At the December 2011 IPC Nor Am Cup, Gourley won a gold medal, his first in international competition," - how about At the December 2011 IPC Nor Am Cup, Gourley won his first gold medal in a international competition? Just a suggestion!
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:09, 12 April 2014 (UTC)
On hold
[edit]Over than those minor copy editing issues and the prose problem of the Personal section, this article is in good standing. I'll put this on hold for seven days until those issues can be addressed and if they have been then this article will pass the GAR. I realise that I might be reviewing too many of your articles all at once, if I am please let me know and I can slow down or stop reviewing more? ☠ Jaguar ☠ 15:22, 12 April 2014 (UTC)
Close - promoted
[edit]Pretty much everything has been covered and addressed to (as I said on the previous GAN), the prose has improved, the length concerns have been clarified and the lead has been expanded. The article now meets the GA criteria - another Paralympian GA! ☠ Jaguar ☠ 18:27, 13 April 2014 (UTC)