Talk:Mike Sullivan (Wyoming politician)/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: Jon698 (talk · contribs) 19:35, 18 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Vigilantcosmicpenguin (talk · contribs) 01:49, 5 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take this one. — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 01:49, 5 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
2. Verifiable with no original research, as shown by a source spot-check:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	References are listed.
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).	The Casper Star-Tribune, which is cited 150 times, is a reliable source about Wyoming. The other sources are fine too.
	2c. it contains no original research.
	2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.	Article has been stable for a year.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	Images depict Sullivan and his gubernatorial campaign.
	7. Overall assessment.

Initial thoughts

There's a sentence in the "Economics and development" section that you accidentally stopped in the middle of. I'll suggest more copyedits as I go on but that's the most obvious one.
I'm not sure if the image in the infobox is really under a CC license. The source webpage (archived) says the article is under this license, but I'm not sure if the image is original.
Sources look good.

— Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 02:20, 5 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Vigilantcosmicpenguin: I will email the American embassy in Ireland and ask for Mike Sullivan's official portrait. That will be certainly in the public domain as a work of the US government. Jon698 (talk) 03:22, 5 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I've tried looking for other portraits of Sullivan. The only photo I found of him is in the back of a group of people with Bill Clinton, so I've added that one to the paragraph about him supporting Clinton's campaign. — Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 07:20, 5 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Lead section

The phrasing "political family" does not match the body. Though multiple family members were politicians, the phrasing "political family" is original synthesis.
I don't think his high school is significant enough to be mentioned in the lead, but I'll accept it.
oversaw Wyoming's most recent criminal execution violates MOS:RELTIME. I think something like oversaw Wyoming's only criminal execution after Furman v. Georgia would be fine, though.

— Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 02:40, 5 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Early life

This section looks good besides some minor copyedits I've done myself.

— Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 02:40, 5 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Career

Sullivan ~~announced~~ said that he was considering running... as "announced" implies something more official, in the context of an election. I also think the exact date is not relevant.
The Republicans blamed their defeat in the 1986 election on the primary which had seven candidates that divided the loyalty of the party. The source attributes this claim specifically to the party's chairman, Mark Hughes, which should be specified.
I don't think it's necessary to quote Hughes with the word "landslide". The statement that it was the state's largest margin of victory conveys the same information.
Instead of separately listing that he was a DNC superdelegate in 1988 and in 1992, it would be more concise to have one sentence saying he was both a superdelegate and the Wyoming chair at both events.
~~claimed~~ said in a fundraising letter
Remove both mentions of Sullivan and Karpan's letter, since both statements are cited to primary sources without any analysis.
This section doesn't mention when Sullivan stopped being the ambassador to Ireland—should be a simple fix.
I've made some copyedits throughout this section to split up long sentences and to replace passive with active voice.

— Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 02:35, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Later life

The source for the statement about the Secretary of the Interior position attributes this claim to "Del Tinsley, publisher of the Wyoming Livestock Roundup", which should be reflected. Also, the source does not mention Gale Norton.

— Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 02:35, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Political positions

The first mobile phone calls in Wyoming belongs under the "Tenure" section since it's not a political position.
Is the use of the word "fraud" with regards to the Filipino election appropriate? Seems WP:CONTENTIOUS, and the Wikipedia articles about the subject seem to avoid definitively saying there was fraud.
I think the paragraph about redistricting belongs in the "Tenure" section, but it makes sense either way.
The "Government" section repeats information already in the article about Sullivan vetoing a law about vacancies and having his veto overriden.
I think the phrase "opposed to abortion rights" is mildly biased as it focuses on the phrase "abortion rights". Maybe just phrase it as "anti-abortion".
There's no need to define the term "non-therapeutic abortion", especially if you have to add an source for it that's unrelated to the article. Just wikilink the phrase to Abortion#Induced.
The statement about the National Organization of Women only has a primary source, and I think it's undue.
In 1987, the Wyoming Senate voted 16 to 14 in favor and the Wyoming House of Representatives voted 39 to 25 in favor seems like too much detail on the vote. Should just say In 1987, the Wyoming Legislature voted in favor.
I think the information about signing the budget belongs in the "Tenure" section.

— Vigilant Cosmic Penguin 🐧 (talk | contribs) 05:51, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]