Jump to content

Talk:Menkauhor Kaiu/GA1

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Tim riley (talk · contribs) 06:51, 17 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]


Starting first read-through. More soonest. Tim riley talk 06:51, 17 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

This is plainly of GA standard. May I make a few preliminary suggestions on minor aspects of the prose?

  • Duplicate links: in the main text we have more than one blue link for each of: Khentkaus II, Sed festival, Wadi Maghara, Ra, temple to the sun, Sahure, mastabas, Ptahhotep, Horus Qemaa, New Kingdom period, Teti and Userkaf.
Green tickY Done. Iry-Hor (talk) 08:07, 17 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Attestations
    • "hellenized" – the Oxford English Dictionary (and the Wikipedia article) would have us capitalise the word.
Green tickY Done. Iry-Hor (talk) 08:07, 17 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
    • "A cylinder seal impression showing Menkauhor's horus name has also been unearthed in the pyramid complex of Nyuserre Ini, and in the necropolises of Giza and Gebelein" – this reads as though one seal impression has been found in three places.
Green tickY Fixed! Iry-Hor (talk) 08:07, 17 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Filiation
    • "The Czech Egyptologists…" – I shouldn't mention their nationality unless it is relevant. Same for Wilfried Seipel and Karl Richard Lepsius later in the text.
Green tickY done. Iry-Hor (talk) 08:07, 17 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Name
    • "The name of Menkauhor is in rupture…" – I see what you mean but this is not idiomatic English. You want something like "is in contrast with" or "is a departure from"
Green tickY You are right this is a French idiom. I fixed it. Iry-Hor (talk) 08:07, 17 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Duration
    • The citations at the end of the paragraph are not in numerical order.
Green tickY fixed. Iry-Hor (talk) 08:07, 17 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Funerary cult
    • "for their sustenance or their own funerary cult" – should "cult" be plural here?
Green tickY Well spotted! Typo fixed. Iry-Hor (talk) 08:07, 17 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Pyramid
    • "The motivations for this choice may lie in that the Abusir plateau had become overcrowded" – this is a bit wordy. Perhaps something like "The reason for this choice may be that …"?
Green tickY Yes the phrasing was heavy, I changed it as you advocated. Iry-Hor (talk) 08:07, 17 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I have corrected a few typos and comma splices: please check you're happy with my changes. Tim riley talk 07:06, 17 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Green tickY I am very happy indeed! Iry-Hor (talk) 08:07, 17 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Overall summary

[edit]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:
    B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. References to sources:
    Well referenced.
    B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
    Well referenced.
    C. No original research:
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:
    B. Focused:
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
    Well illustrated.
    B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
    Well illustrated.
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:

No complications here. A fine article! If you have plans to take it to FAC I advise you to go to peer review first: there are a few very minor prose tweaks I haven't thought it necessary to raise for GAN but which will need doing before FAC. Please ping me if you take the article to PR. Tim riley talk 10:39, 17 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Tim riley Thank you very much for your help, I have put up the article to PR as you advised, see here. Iry-Hor (talk) 11:26, 17 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
I'll be there in a day or two, and will see if I can press-gang some reinforcements. Tim riley talk 15:21, 17 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]