Talk:Mayabazar/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Dr. Blofeld (talk · contribs) 10:15, 13 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Will review within a couple of days.♦ Dr. Blofeld 10:16, 13 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Lede

Fix link to Kannada

Was already linked. Pavanjandhyala (talk) 17:54, 15 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I know that, what I mean is stop it being a redirect when you click it, Kannada language redirects to Kannada, same with Pandavas which redirects to Pandava, pipe both links accordingly.

Both fixed ☯ Jaguar ☯ 20:43, 15 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

evergreen? -I've reworded myself.♦ Dr. Blofeld 15:43, 15 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. Pavanjandhyala (talk) 17:54, 15 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Plot

Fix link to Pandava. What are they? Non Indian readers won't know so something in brackets here.

Linked before. Added a note regarding the same. Pavanjandhyala (talk) 17:54, 15 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"He creates a Mayabazar " -again, no idea, needs to be given

Added "an illusionary palace" in brackets. Pavanjandhyala (talk) 17:54, 15 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Production

Footnote A, I'd list all of them with italics/links and years in brackets.

They were the alternative names of the folk tale. How can i find years for them? Pavanjandhyala (talk) 01:44, 16 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@Dr. Blofeld: As Pavan mentioned, they are alternative titles, but it was for the film. I added the footnote there before. Listed it with italics now. — Ssven2 ^{Speak 2 me} 05:42, 16 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Themes

"Though Mayabazar is said to be a mythological film" -says who?

Reworded. Pavanjandhyala (talk) 01:44, 16 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Paandavas -watch spelling inconsistency

Fixed this ☯ Jaguar ☯ 20:45, 15 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Music

Fix link to Pingali Nagendrarao

Fixed ☯ Jaguar ☯ 20:47, 15 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"was taken almost with the lyrics " -doesn't look right here, "based almost entirely on the lyrics" perhaps?

Oops, must have missed this part whilst I was doing the copyedit. Re-worded ☯ Jaguar ☯ 20:47, 15 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Release

"was held at the Lalita Kala Thoranam, Public Gardens," -where actually is this? Public Gardens, Hyderabad?

I'm not too sure myself but I linked it to that, if I'm wrong then hopefully Pavanjandhyala can correct this! ☯ Jaguar ☯ 20:49, 15 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Found it. It was Public Gardens indeed. Pavanjandhyala (talk) 01:44, 16 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Digitisation

"Mayabazar is the first Telugu film transformed from black and white to colour version and full scope,[28] as with a re-mastered audio from mono track to a DTS 5.1 channel system." and "The colour version also received positive reviews and also became a commercial success".- clumsy prose here, rep of also, please reword both

Chnged "is" to "was". Removed "as" and "also" twice. Pavanjandhyala (talk) 01:44, 16 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Legacy

"Evergreen classics"? I immediately think of beautiful green trees in a field of cows, not an Indian film from 1957... Let's just keep that word to the quote in legacy.

That's what I thought too! I removed that instance ☯ Jaguar ☯ 20:46, 15 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"It is also remembered for Nagendra Rao's dialogues "Evaru puttinchakunte maatalela pudathayi" ("How would words emerge if none invents them"), "Subhadra, aagadalu, aghaaityalu naaku paniki raavu" ("Subhadra, these attrocities mean nothing to me") and phrases such as "antha alamalame kada" ("Is everything fine"), "Asamadiyulu" ("Friends"), "Tasamadiyulu" ("Enemies"), "Gilpam" and "Gimbali" (antonyms of "Bed and Room mat") which became a part of the generally spoken Telugu language later" -a bit rambling here and not clear why they became " part of the generally spoken Telugu language " or quite what you mean here. It's not clear if they are made up words or phrases. You mean the words or phrases entered the Telugu vernacular?

Those words were initially used as satires, and slowly they entered the Telugu vernacular. Pavanjandhyala (talk) 01:44, 16 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"In January 2007, film critic M. L. Narasimham, writing for The Hindu, placed Mayabazaar alongside other films Mala Pilla (1938), Raithu Bidda (1939), Vara Vikrayam (1939), Bhakta Potana (1942), Shavukaru (1950), Malliswari (1951) Peddamanushulu (1954) and Lava Kusa (1963).[35]" - placed it alongside them, on his DVD shelf? As the greatest Indian films of all time, what exactly?

He listed them as those films which made an impact on the society as well as Telugu cinema post their release. Pavanjandhyala (talk) 01:44, 16 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"Rama Rao reprised the role of Krishna in the unrelated Tamil film Karnan (1964),[36] and various unrelated Telugu films such as Vinayaka Chaviti (1957), Sati Anasuya (1957), Deepavali (1960), Sri Krishnarjuna Yuddham (1962), Sri Krishna Pandaveeyam (1966), Sri Krishna Tulabharam (1966), Shri Krishnavataram (1967), Sri Krishna Vijayam (1971), Sri Krishna Satya (1972), Shri Krishnanjaneya Yuddham (1972) and Daana Veera Soora Karna (1972), spanning a career of two decades." -long rambling list here, I'd demote to a footnote and just say in the prose that he continued to play the role of Krishna in various roles over two decades.

Added. Pavanjandhyala (talk) 01:44, 16 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

" Mackenna's Gold" an "evergreen" classic? Was he wearing a blindfold? Not sure how somebody could put that with Ben Hur in the same sentence!! Instantly forgettable, with a mediocre screenplay actually, although the cinematography was indeed quite striking, perhaps he means that.

I have never seen Mackenna's Gold but I have to agree that any sentence with Ben Hur mentioned in it has to have pretty high standards! I've boldly removed Mackenna's Gold ☯ Jaguar ☯ 20:52, 15 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Popular culture

Watch the repetition of "named after the song"

Cut down and reworded two phrases ☯ Jaguar ☯ 20:51, 15 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose quality:

B. MoS compliance:
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. References to sources:

B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:

C. No original research:
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:

B. Focused:
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:

Looks OK for GA I think, although still might benefit from another copyeditor. I don't think it has featured article potential at this stage though, and unless more detail can be found on production and themes I don't think it'll ever go beyond GA, but I may be proved wrong!♦ Dr. Blofeld 09:23, 16 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@Dr. Blofeld: Thanks for reviewing the article. I shall get it copyedited by other GOCE members soon. Pavanjandhyala (talk) 09:27, 16 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Dwaipayanc and Bollyjeff might be interested in this. I'm not sure the sources are there to get it up to Mother India level, but it might be good to ask Dwai for assistance. Let me know anyway if there is a movement to further improve this.♦ Dr. Blofeld 09:30, 16 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@Dr. Blofeld: With the sources available in both English and Telugu, i could expand this article to this level. I shall seek their help for further improvement. Hope anyone releases a book regarding the making of this film (though i am expecting too much). Pavanjandhyala (talk) 09:40, 16 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]