Talk:Matthew Webb/GA2

GA Review

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Nominator: It is a wonderful world (talk · contribs) 22:33, 30 September 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: Rollinginhisgrave (talk · contribs) 07:08, 1 October 2024 (UTC)

Saving my spot for when you're ready for me to review. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 07:08, 1 October 2024 (UTC)

Rollinginhisgrave (talk · contribs) I have finished addressing points. It's ready to review! It is a wonderful world (talk) 09:47, 1 October 2024 (UTC)

Prose and content

• latter feat refer to this as an act for neutrality

Fixed

• but rather as a medical

Fixed

• Generally avoid one paragraph long sections, you can just remove the subheading "Training on the Conway"

Fixed

• Hong Kong again what is "again" doing here?

Because his first voyage was also to Singapore and Hong Kong. I removed the sentence though since it's unnecessary and confusing.

• link Prize money to purse

Done

• his daring attempted rescue

Done

• doubted Webb would swim the channel attempt or succeed?

Attempt, clarified

• paddled is there a reason you refer to Boyton's swimming as "paddling"?

Yes, he used a suit with a paddle which he would use to paddle feet first on his back. Do you think I should mention this?

• journey Dover to Ramsgate journey from

Fixed

• weather, and remove comma, WP:CINS

Fixed

• Preparations and first attempt

Fixed

• captain Pittock capitalise captain for title

Fixed

• swim—and John Graham Chambers why the dash?

The double em-dash was used to set "who joined Webb in the water for parts of the swim" as an aside. Do you think I should replace them with commas or parentheses, or restructure the sentence?

• at a rate of 25 strokes per minute

Fixed

• but did not deter him after he had a shot of brandy but he continued after; more neutral

Done

• the Toms

Fixed

• August 25 dmy

Fixed

• and later slept in the Hotel

Fixed

• Webb had a temperature of 38 °C add "after his swim" to the start, as this is a new section about reception; signposting

Fixed

• According to Saloon, replace "salon"

Replaced with "saloon", there doesn't appear to be a specific word for a saloon on a passenger ship

• People in Wellington expected his arrival, so cut

Replaced with "In Wellington,"

• where people welcomed him could you explain what this means?

I cut this out, meaning the sentence now reads: "In Wellington, a crowd brought his carriage to Ironbridge, where the Mayor of Wenlock greeted him"

• Lord Mayor of London links to a disambiguation page (you can see these by going into preferences and tick "Display links to disambiguation pages in orange")

Changed preference and fixed. This is useful!

• , then returned to Dover where he and Toms reunited with the crew for dinner cut

Done

• Webb received gifts, including gold cuff links and collar studs, a gold watch, a North London Swimming Club gold cross, a solitaire, a silver cup and a jewelled tie pin. too many gifts listed. Can cut some out.

Cut to three remaining

• The autopsy revealed that the cut occurred after his death left behind by an earlier draft

Fixed

• and blamed the railway companies blamed for the death or criticised them

Blamed for his death, fixed

• In 1909 a postcard produced by a photography firm in Dawley depicted a pig on a wall watching Webb's post-channel procession go by. indicate why this is notable / worth mentioning

Changed to "In 1909 a postcard produced by a photography firm in Dawley depicted the legend of a pig lifting its hind legs onto a wall, to watch Webb's post-channel procession go by." The Shropshire Star also mentions a court case disputing the rights to this postcard, do you think that is also worth mentioning?

• The legacy section really doesn't need subheadings and a lot can be merged into one paragraph.

Done

• Cultural references sections are generally discouraged on Wikipedia (see MOS:CULTURALREFS). The Peter Sellers ref should be cut. The rest can be merged into the legacy section.

Done

• Death in Niagara Rapids

Fixed

Suggestions

• diving underwater and cutting it with a knife cutting it free

Removed "with a knife". The diving underwater part is what makes this note-worthy in my opinion. I also don't think the word "free" needs to be repeated.

• Link knots

Linked

• £2,424 (about £290,000 today) MOS:DATED, instead of using a source's inflation calculation, you can use template:inflation. Same with £100, $1,000 and $4,000

I did use template:inflation

• He planned to start on the east flood tide and catch the current as it turned west,[51] and chose the lugger boat Ann for support—which was captained by George Toms. repetition of "and" reads awkwardly. Why do you use a dash between support and which?

I agree, I split it into two sentences, and replaced the dash with a comma

• ten am MOS:TIME use a template:nbsp in between, and use figures rather than words for ten.

Done, do you think I should just write 10:00? The rest of the article uses 24-hour times, do would it be too ambiguous?

Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 12:15, 1 October 2024 (UTC)

Sources

• Is the source number in [1] the page number? When I hover over these it seems like the page is 110-111.

I'm not sure what you mean here. The Seccombe source is pages 104-105. What is the "source number"?

• What makes The Adventurous Life and Daring Exploits in England and America of Capt. Matthew Webb a RS? Same with The Channel Feats of Captain Webb and Captain Boyton?

They are both books published by publishers which I could not find any problem with. I understand that some publishers are unreliable, but I could not find any problems with the reliability of these publishers. Is there a way to check publisher reliability?

Spot check

• [1f] Y
• [15a] N this seems to directly contradict the statement; no swimming was involved in the rescue

I misunderstood the old English of this source at the time. I have removed the mention of swimming in that sentence.

• [30] Y
• [45] Y
• [60a] Y although just say bacon and eggs, I think there will be some historicity issues with when the English breakfast arose

Fixed

• [75] clock this was on page 139

Fixed

Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 03:38, 2 October 2024 (UTC)