Talk:Master Apartments/GA2
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Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 04:25, 27 February 2017 (UTC)
- Sorry for the delay. I will get to this within the next 24 hours. Please ping me with any questions. :) Carbrera (talk) 02:32, 13 March 2017 (UTC).
Initial comments
[edit]- In the infobox, should the "h" in "housing cooperative" be capitalized?
Done
- Since the article contains well over 15,000 prose characters, I would increase the lead to incorporate more of the details discussed within the article
Done Expanded to 4 paragraphs.
- "Built in 1929, it is one of the city's major Art Deco residential buildings and one of its first mixed-use buildings, and is the tallest building on Riverside Drive." --> I may suggest cutting back on how many "building(s)" appear in this sentence
Done
- "The Master Apartments is legally located in the borough of Manhattan" --> I know what you mean by "legally" but I would suggest removing it altogether
Done
- "They were the Roerich Museum, the Master Institute of United Arts, and the Corona Mundi International Center of Art." --> Needs source
- Converted into footnote; will do full source later.
- I don't really see a need for the second paragraph beginning with "Nicholas Roerich" and ending with "was about $1,500,000." at all; I think you should completely remove it
Done
- "Both the building and the Institute" --> Does "institute" actually need to be capitalized?
Done
- Suggestion: "There were to be 390 apartments, most having one bedroom with a few having two or three." --> "There were to be 390 apartments, all with one, two, or three bedrooms."
- Maybe this is just me, but what does "The bonds were 6% Guaranteed Sinking Fund Gold Bond Certificates" mean?
Done Fixed
- "(predecessor of Manufacturers Hanover Trust Company)" --> I don't think this is a necessary bit of info
Done
- "that the circle represents the totality of culture and the dots are art, science, and religion (or philosophy); and that the circle symbolizes" --> Don't you mean "dots" instead of "circle" in one of these instances?
- Rephrased instead, since the article says
On another occasion he said the symbol has two meanings
, I clarified there were two meanings.
- Rephrased instead, since the article says
- Of course I know what you mean by "However, both rentals and student fees soon dried up" but perhaps I would exchange for something a bit more encyclopedic
Done
- "The organization that had previously run the building was called Roerich Museum, Inc. Roerich Museum, Inc. is now the organization that operates the Nicholas Roerich Museum at 319 West 107th Street.[i]" --> Is this really significant?
Done Removed.
- It's up to you, but I'm suggesting removing "Bernard Karfiol" since even if he might be mentioned in the source, he does not have an article
Done
- Did you mean this: "saw its culturally-oriented middle class renters depart, many of them, it was said" --> "saw its culturally-oriented middle class renters depart. Many of them, it was said"?
Done
- The paragraph beginning with "Bloomingdale" and ending with "in the city to get drugs"; wouldn't this be a better fit in the article for "Manhattan Valley"?
Done Removed.
References
[edit]- Reference #1 should include access date and publication(s) along with publication date, article title, possible authors, etc.
Done
- I would suggest making all of the references appear with the same date format; like Ref #69 is MD,Y while several are Y-M-D and #16 is DMY.
Done
- In all instances, New York Times --> The New York Times
Done And some other fixes too.
- Reference #15, please avoid shouting; I don't think the caps are needed
Done
- Reference #24's claim is completely unsourced
- Sourced to something else.
- I would suggest alphabetizing the categories
Done
- ON HOLD – I apologize deeply for the delay in reviewing this article. Take as long as you need and ping me with any questions. Apologies and regards, Carbrera (talk) 04:40, 1 April 2017 (UTC).
- It's OK. I will need a couple days to fix it, though. epicgenius (talk) 15:44, 2 April 2017 (UTC)
- @Carbrera: I've finished everything except the lead, which I will have done soon. epicgenius (talk) 20:57, 4 April 2017 (UTC)
- @Carbrera: I have finished fixing the entire article. epicgenius (talk) 22:43, 4 April 2017 (UTC)
- Once again, thank you for your patience. You have addressed all issues (and I added a period). Thanks and great work, Carbrera (talk) 02:59, 5 April 2017 (UTC).
- ON HOLD – I apologize deeply for the delay in reviewing this article. Take as long as you need and ping me with any questions. Apologies and regards, Carbrera (talk) 04:40, 1 April 2017 (UTC).