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Talk:Marta Menegatti/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 20:33, 8 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Will spare the time tor review this article. MWright96 (talk) 20:33, 8 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Lead

[edit]
  • "who plays as a left-side defender with partner Viktoria Orsi Toth." - with her partner
  • "The pair broke into the top ten of the world rankings" - entered is more formal
  • "and medalled at seven World Tour events before an acrimonious split mid-2013." - split midway through 2013.

Early life

[edit]
  • "the fifth tier of the Italian volleyball league system." - wikilink the text in bold to Italian Volleyball League
  • "sparking her foray into beach volleyball." - prompting is a better more formal alternative
  • "a national youth competition organized" - organised

2006-2008: Junior years

[edit]
  • "where she and partner Debora Pini placed ninth at the $10K Eboli Satellite tournament." - and her partner

2009: Partnerin with Cicolari, World Tour debut

[edit]
  • "She quit indoor volleyball so as to focus solely on the beach game." - "so as" is redundant
  • "They concluded their first year as teammates ranked No. 43" - use the abbr template on No. so that the reader hovering over it knows it means Number
  • "Later in the month, Menegatti and partner Debora Allegretti " - and her partner

2010: First World Tour podium

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  • "Menegatti played with Valeria Rosso on the World Tour as Cicolari had sustained an injury." - what type of injury?
  • "Menegatti and Rosso became the first Italian pair to reach a finals on the World Tour" - World Tour final
  • "before falling to fourth-seeded Nicole Branagh and Kerri Walsh Jennings " - to the fourth-seeded
  • "Menegatti racked up two more podium finishes" - attained

2011: European champions

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  • "With the home crowd on their side, they topped their group" - With a partisian crowd is probably better here
  • "over 16th-seeded Barbara Hansel and Sara Montagnolli of Austria" - over the 16th-seeded

2012: London Olympics

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  • "So as to avoid worsening a shoulder injury," - In order

2013: Partnering with Orsi Toth

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  • "They capped off a dominant tournament run" - finished
  • "After Gstaad, Carvalho decided to split the pair" - change the text in bold to separate for variety
  • "with fourth-place finishes at the $220K Moscow and São Paulo Grand Slams." - with two fourth-place
  • "With only five international events under their belt" - try to avoid idioms per MOS:IDIOM
  • "they wrapped up their first season together ranked No. 44 " - finished

2014–2015: First World Tour title

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  • "Their results picked up in September" - got better

2016: Rio Olympics

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  • "three-set losses against 16th-seeded Jamie Broder and Kristina May of Canada" - against the 16th-seeded
  • "and fourth-seeded Laura Ludwig and Kira Walkenhorst of Germany" - and the fourth-seeded

2017–2018: Partner switches, struggles

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  • "resume her partnership with Orsi Toth once the latter's doping ban expired mid-season" - mid way through the season for non-sports readers
  • "Menegatti and Giombini started off 2018 competing at the $10K Shepparton Open." - commenced

2018–present: Comeback

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  • "In the group stage, they upset second-seeded" - they upset the
  • "and 15th-seeded Nina Betschart and Tanja Huberli of Switzerland" - and the 15th-seeded

Style of play

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  • "Menegatti is a defender and right-handed left-side player." - and a right-handed
  • "While she has worked on developing her leadership skills and enjoys taking on this role," - and says she enjoys

Personal life

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  • "previous sponsors include Red Bull GmbH (energy drink)" - GmbH is redundant
  • "Ever since she was young, Menegatti has looked up to Misty May-Treanor" - Since she was young, Menegatti respected

References

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Another nice flowing article of yours. Nothing too major to be addressed here. MWright96 (talk) 17:53, 10 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@MWright96: Hi. I think I've addressed all the points you've raised. Let me know if there's any more improvements to be made. Thank you for the review. Bennv3771 (talk) 19:46, 10 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]
@Bennv3771: Lovely. Now promoting to GA class. MWright96 (talk) 20:45, 10 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]