Talk:Mark Ormrod (Royal Marine)

A fact from Mark Ormrod (Royal Marine) appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 19 July 2020 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:

Did you know... that Mark Ormrod was the first UK soldier to survive a triple amputation during the War in Afghanistan?

A record of the entry may be seen at Wikipedia:Recent additions/2020/July. The nomination discussion and review may be seen at Template:Did you know nominations/Mark Ormrod (Royal Marine).

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This article has been checked against the following criteria for B-class status:
Referencing and citation: criterion met Coverage and accuracy: criterion not met Structure: criterion met Grammar and style: criterion met Supporting materials: criterion met

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Did you know nomination

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 05:50, 14 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

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Article history

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~~... that Mark Ormrod was the UK's first triple amputee of Operation Herrick?~~ Source: "Mayhew, Emily (2017). A Heavy Reckoning: War, Medicine and Survival in Afghanistan and Beyond. p.82
- ALT1:... that after losing three limbs to an IED, Mark Ormrod's life was saved after a medical team drilled into his iliac crest? Source: [1]
- ALT2:... that Mark Ormrod was the first UK soldier to survive a triple amputation during the War in Afghanistan?
- ALT3:~~... that during the 2017 Invictus Games triple amputee Mark Ormrod was awarded the Jaguar Award for Exceptional Performance, Determination and Dedication?~~

Created/expanded by Woody (talk). Self-nominated at 16:03, 10 June 2020 (UTC).[reply]

New enough, long enough, neutrally written, well referenced, no close paraphrasing seen. No QPQ needed for nominator with less than 5 DYK credits.
The first hook doesn't make sense to someone who doesn't know what Operation Herrick is. Why not just say Afghanistan? Meanwhile, the article says he was the first triple amputee to survive Afghanistan. The ALT1 sounds gruesome. I'm wondering if you'd consider eliminating the shock factor and maybe write a hook about his wins in the Invictus Games. You could identify him as a triple amputee and then give the hook fact. Yoninah (talk) 23:26, 11 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Yoninah Thanks for the comment. I've written a couple of alts, ALT2 to clarify he was the first to survive and the second about the Invictus Games as suggested. It is/was a gruesome injury and a gruesome and award winning process that kept him alive. I have no preference for the hooks but as you say, if we want to avoid the shock then ALT2 or ALT3 are probably the best. Woody (talk) 15:07, 13 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. I will leave ALT1 as another option in case the promoter thinks differently than me, but meanwhile ALT2 is also approved. Offline ALT2 hook ref AGF and cited inline. Good to go. Yoninah (talk) 16:09, 13 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]