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Talk:Marcela (wrestler)/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Larry Hockett (talk · contribs) 17:16, 28 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I can review this. I'll post some initial feedback soon - hopefully later today. Thanks to the nominator for making great efforts to improve the coverage of this subject matter on Wikipedia. Larry Hockett (Talk) 17:16, 28 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

After a quick readthrough, I can see that a few of the GA criteria are already met. The article is worded neutrally; the images have appropriate captions and license information; and there are no recent stability concerns. The content appears to be mostly sourced (with the exceptions noted below), and Earwig's Copyvio Detector returned nothing of concern. Most of my feedback has to do with clear, concise wording (criteria 1a and 1b). Before future nominations, a WP:GOCE request may be worth considering so that you don't have so much feedback to address during the seven-day GA review period, but the issues are certainly fixable here.

Lead and infobox

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  • tecnicas → técnicas
  • I would place "good guy" in quotation marks because it is an informal explanation of the role.
  • "on the Mexican independent circuit over the years." - take out "over the years" since it doesn't provide additional information.
  • I think the first sentence in the second paragraph is trying to do a little too much for a single sentence. How about "As of 2020, she is the CMLL World Women's Champion. In 2018, she began her fifth reign as champion, which is a CMLL record. She is a one-time Mexican National... " This would also get rid of the issue with "current" (see relative time references at WP:Words to watch; this is one of the guidelines specifically addressed in GA criterion 1).
  • "During her career she's won several major" → "She has won several major" (all of her wins can be assumed to be during her career; contractions are generally too informal for encyclopedic writing).
  • "Lucha de Apuestas, bet matches" → luchas de apuestas (bet matches). Similar issue at least once in the career section.
  • Place a period after Blanca.
  • To reduce clutter in the infobox, I think it would be better to cite the information in the body of the article and leave the citation out of the infobox where possible. The list of trainers seems overly long, and some of the trainers do not appear to be supported by citations.
  • Is Fuego en el Ring considered the most authoritative source for Mexican professional wrestling? I noticed that Marcela's billed height/weight come from a 2012 screen grab of that site. When I tried to access the current version of the site, it tried to give me a computer virus.

Personal life

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  • This section is more typically referred to as Early life to support a chronological flow to the biography.
  • held several Lucha Libre each week → held several events each week (to reduce repetition)
  • "and another child at a later date." You can leave this out because the next sentence discusses the second child.
  • "followed in Marcela's footsteps" - leave this out (too informal)
  • The entire section seems sourced to the DPA site (currently ref #2), but I don't see some of the information at that source, like the DOB.

Professional wrestling career

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  • "at a time where female wrestling" - at a time when female wrestling
  • "on September 7, 1991 and saw Marcela defeat La Migala." - Per MOS:COMMA, the year should be followed by a comma unless it is followed by other punctuation; check all of the other dates for this issue. Also, matches don't see things, so just say "Marcela defeated La Migala."
  • "torneo cibernetico" - The Spanish term should have an accent mark over the last e... but even our WP article on the subject doesn't get this right, and sometimes the TV broadcast captions don't use it, so I won't argue if you decide not to include it.
  • Second paragraph of CMLL: "witha successful championship defense" - with a
  • "pinning Marcela to win the championship" - who pinned Marcela to win the championship
  • "Marcela's third reign saw her successfully defend" - During her third reign, Marcela successfully defended
  • "Marcela and Princesa Sugej teamed up for the 2014 Juicio Final show, defeating Princesa Blanca and La Seductora, which forced La Seductora to unmask and Princesa Blanca was forced to be shaved bald, as well as retire from professional wrestling." Right now the different verb tenses are making this hard to understand. You might say, "In the 2014 Juicio Final show, Marcela and Princesa Sugej defeated La Seductora and Princesa Blanca. La Seductora had to unmask, while Princesa Blanca was shaved bald and forced into retirement."
  • "on a show I Japan" - in Japan?
  • "CMLL held their first ever" - no need for "ever"
  • "however, Dalys did get" - no need for the "however" - if you decide to keep it, use a capital H.
  • Japan section: "Over the years, CMLL has collaborated" - no need for "Over the years" unless we are going to say something about which years
  • "Her first major tour" - Marcela's first major tour
  • "a male Exótico, on August 2. She'd later return to Japan for an individual BJW match in October and December 1999." - lowercase E in exótico; she later returned; individual BJW matches in October and December 1999
  • "Her 2014 return saw Marcela first successfully" - rewrite to avoid using "saw" like this; it appears she only successfully defended against Suryuri once, so probably no need for "first".
  • "It would be another five years before" - leave this out so it is less wordy; very easy for the reader to compute the five years
  • Mexican independent circuit section: "While working for CMLL, Marcela" - unnecessary. Just start with "Like all CMLL workers, Marcela..."
  • "redeuced, giving presidence" - reduced, giving precedence
  • "CMLL has allowed Marcel" - consider starting a new paragraph here
  • "for example she defended the championship" - run-on, needs new sentence here. "For example, she defended the championship..."
  • "Guatemala. and had a successful defense" - inadvertent period
  • "The match was the first, and only time" - no need for first; the only is always the first
  • US independent circuit section: "twice crossing into Mexico" - and has twice crossed into Mexico.
  • "and then returned in June" - the match did not return - Marcela returned in June

I think that's all the wording feedback I have. After you address these, I'm going to take a look at more of the references and make sure that she material is supported by them. I'll also make a quick pass and clean up any stray typos or minor style issues that I missed the first time. Thanks again for the work you have done to improve WP's coverage of this fun topic. Larry Hockett (Talk) 19:51, 28 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

MPJ-DK, good work. I made a quick copyediting pass for minor stuff like MOS:COMMA. I only have one more concern. In the CMLL section, I don't see this statement reflected in the source: "Marcela began her fifth CMLL World Women's Championship reign on November 19, 2018..." If you can address that, we can promote this. Thank you again for your work. Larry Hockett (Talk) 11:23, 15 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Larry Hockett Done. MPJ-DK (talk) 21:46, 15 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

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