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Talk:Mansur al-Atrash

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GA Review

[edit]
This review is transcluded from Talk:Mansur al-Atrash/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: FunkMonk (talk · contribs) 11:11, 24 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • Hi, I will review this article. FunkMonk (talk) 11:11, 24 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and its Syrian Regional Branch in 1947." Should regional branch be capitalised? Is it the official name? if not, it probably shouldn't be.
Fixed. --Al Ameer (talk) 22:10, 28 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • The infobox states he was born in the Jabal Druze state when it still existed. Could be added to the article.
Added some info on Jabal al-Druze, Great Revolt and his father Sultan. Unfortunately, I couldn't find much about Mansur during this period, like early education or if he left Syria with his father, etc. --Al Ameer (talk) 22:10, 28 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In 1947 Atrash became a founding member of the unitary Ba'ath Party" Add then unitary? And unitary probably shouldn't be part of the link, casual readers might believe it is part of the title.
Fixed. --Al Ameer (talk) 22:10, 28 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Could there be some clarification of why he and the Ba'ath were opposed to Shiskali? As of now, we just hear they were opposed.
What I'm getting from the sources is that the opposition stemmed from Shishakli's authoritarianism. Why did relations break in 1953 exactly, I haven't been able to ascertain, but I added what could to the section.
  • And again: "Atrash was offered a cabinet position in Said al-Ghazzi's Government, but he rejected the offer because of the Ba'ath Party's position towards the government." Which was what?
They opposed the government's make up. Moubayed didn't give details on why they opposed the make-up. I know the Baathists opposed some policies of Ghazzi that they perceived as being "pro-West" such as the renewal of wheat exports to Europe and the request for US arms, but this came after the government was formed. --Al Ameer (talk) 22:10, 28 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "after Shishakli's downfall in 1954" Specify what kind of downfall?
Done. --Al Ameer (talk) 22:10, 28 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • There is little mention of his motivations throughout. Why was he so adamantly pan-Arab, for example?
I added that he strongly advocated for Arab nationalism and socialism, but the reason why hasn't been specified. --Al Ameer (talk) 22:10, 28 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and soft on "reactionary" elements within Syria in the aftermath of Hama uprising in April of that year by the Muslim Brotherhood." Was he opposed to stronger actions against them or what?
I could see the confusion arising from this part of the article. I just added some context and made any clarification I could from the sources. Hafiz and Bitar were playing musical chairs with the prime ministerial position in those days. Hafiz replaced Bitar in 1963, served during the uprising's suppression, citizens got mad at his handling of the unrest, he resigned in Bitar's favor, Bitar tried to alleviate the tension in the country, but was replaced by Hafiz again a few months later ... that's the gist of the context. Atrash's position on the uprising's suppression is not provided but he resigned as an ally of Bitar and probably as someone wary of the the officers' overriding influence in the civilian govt's decision-making. He did not resign from the cabinet though, just the Presidential Council. --Al Ameer (talk) 20:05, 30 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • He is sometimes referred to Atrash and sometimes as al-Atrash, should be consistent.
Fixed. The only time "al-Atrash" is used now is in reference to the clan. --Al Ameer (talk) 22:10, 28 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The marriage caused a temporary schism between Mansur and his father." Why? because it was exogamic?
Clarified. Yes, it was because Mansur's wife was from outside the Druze community. --Al Ameer (talk) 22:10, 28 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I'm happy with it now, passed! But one last thing, did he have any children? If so, could be mentioned. FunkMonk (talk) 06:30, 31 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you! I think I have a source about his children but it's a family tree in Arabic. Because the text is a part of the family tree image, I can't copy and paste the text to google translate. Here's the source: [1]. It's at the bottom of the page. I'll ask a person who could read Arabic for help. --Al Ameer (talk) 03:57, 1 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Yeah, would be a somewhat essential addition, if you want to go further with the article. FunkMonk (talk) 07:15, 1 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]