Talk:Malkin Tower/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Mark Arsten (talk · contribs) 19:31, 26 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Will review, comments to follow in the next couple days. Mark Arsten (talk) 19:31, 26 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Alright, pretty interesting read--haunted witch towers in the forest and all. The article is in good shape, just a few quibbles about wording and punctuation, then I'll pass this. Mark Arsten (talk) 20:13, 27 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

You might want to link Black Moss Reservoir in the lead image caption.
Done. Malleus Fatuorum 22:35, 27 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"Despite several archaeological excavations in the area no remains have yet been discovered." I would suggest adding a comma after "area", and maybe removing "yet". Also, it seems that there were remains of a potential candidate discovered by the water engineers, would it make sense to state that no confirmed remains were found but candidates have been offered?
I agree with adding the comma and removing the "yet", which I've done. I've also added "confirmed remains", which ought to cover the cottage discovered by the water engineers and is almost certainly not Malkin Tower. Malleus Fatuorum 22:35, 27 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Instead of linking Thomas Potts to The Wonderfull Discoverie of Witches in the Countie of Lancaster, I'd like "the official account" or write it out.
I think the links are OK now? Malleus Fatuorum 01:57, 28 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"Malkin Tower was likely to have been a simple cottage rather than a tower." I'd consider ending the sentence after "cottage".
Makes sense, done. Malleus Fatuorum 22:35, 27 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"sometimes called Malking Tower, or Mocking Tower," do you need the first comma here?
No, probably not. Removed. Malleus Fatuorum 22:35, 27 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

History

"a word used to describe a lower-class woman or slut" Is "slut" a formal enough term to use here? (Honestly not sure.)
I think it is, it's certainly not a slang word anyway. Malleus Fatuorum 22:46, 27 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"it is almost certain that Southerns and Device did not own Malkin Tower, but were tenants of the property." I'd consider removing the comma here.
Removed the comma and the trailing "of the property". Malleus Fatuorum 22:46, 27 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"When Nowell learned of the meeting he concluded after examining Alizon Device's "mentally sub-normal" brother, James, that Malkin Tower had been the scene of a witches' coven" Let me see if I have this right. So he learned of the meeting, then asked James Device about it, and then concluded that the meeting was a coven?
Yep, that's exactly what happened. Malleus Fatuorum 22:46, 27 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"an old cat, as in "grimalkin" or "grey malkin"," Do you need the middle comma here?
Probably not, so I've removed it.

Location

"The building may also have been destroyed in order to eradicate the "melancholy associations" of the place." You might want to remove "in order" here.
Done. Malleus Fatuorum 22:49, 27 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
You use "not uncommon" a couple times in the article, I'd suggest switching one to "common".
Done. Malleus Fatuorum 01:53, 28 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"but only describes it as being in the Forest of Pendle, a former royal forest that covered a considerable area south and east of Pendle Hill" Was it a former royal forest at the time of writing, or did it cease to be a royal forest afterwards?
My understanding is that Pendle Forest, which was part of the Honour of Clitheroe, was disafforested in 1507, more than 100 years before the trials of the Pendle witches. I've added a note to explain. Malleus Fatuorum 02:20, 28 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"The primary evidence supporting this location seems to be that a hollow in the hillside east of the farm is known as Mawkin Hole." I'm not sure about the use of "seems to be" here, it sounds like it's clear that that is the primary evidence, or am I mistaken?
"It is suggested that this is the same place..." I presume it is suggested by local folklore, right?
"the same place mentioned in the 16th-century halmote court records" Could you clarify what a "halmote court" is?
It would be nice one day to be able to rely on decent supporting articles, but that day seems a long way off. Anyway, a halmote court is a type of manorial court, also called a court customary. We don't have an article on that, so what I've done is to link halmote court to manor court for now, which I'll expand tomorrow to cover halmote court and the other types of manorial courts. Malleus Fatuorum 01:49, 28 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"A potential candidate for the lost Malkin Tower was announced in December 2011, after water engineers unearthed a 17th-century cottage complete with a mummified cat sealed in the walls, close to Lower Black Moss reservoir near Barley." What is the significance of the mummified cat here?
I've added a note to explain. Malleus Fatuorum 23:06, 27 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"Douglas claims there is "persuasive" evidence that an area near Sadler's Farm (now known as Shekinah Christian Centre) was the site of Malkin Tower" Is the area near the farm known as Shekinah Christian Centre, or is it that Shekinah Christian Centre is the new name for the farm?
"but anywhere inside the manor of Colne would be outside the Forest of Pendle." Would "but every location inside the manor of Colne is outside the Forest of Pendle." be an improvement here?
I'm not sure it would to be honest. Malleus Fatuorum 23:12, 27 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
I changed this to "would have been" since the Forest of Pendle no longer exists in the sense of an old royal forest. BigDom (talk) 09:09, 28 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"old masonry found in one of the field walls is said to be from the remains of the building." Would "old masonry found in a field wall is said to be from the remains of the building." be an improvement here?
I think it probably is, changed as per your suggestion. Malleus Fatuorum 23:12, 27 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

References

You mention a "smallholding" in note b, you might want to link that.
Done. Malleus Fatuorum 22:49, 27 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
A couple books in the Bibliography don't have locations, you might want to standardise that if you can.
I prefer to have no locations, so I'll remove them all. Malleus Fatuorum 22:05, 27 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Not a big deal, but you might want to add an OCLC for the Farrer source.
Done. BigDom (talk) 09:09, 28 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Other

Dabs, links, source reliablity, image licensing, etc. are all fine.
Spotchecked the Guardian and BBC sources, no issues there. Mark Arsten (talk) 20:13, 27 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Alright, the remaining bullets are fairly trivial, and I'm satisfied with the fixes, so I'm passing this now. Good work! Mark Arsten (talk) 13:47, 28 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]