Talk:Luka Dončić/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Kosack (talk · contribs) 19:06, 2 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take this one, will post review in the next day or so. Kosack (talk) 19:06, 2 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Initial review

Infobox

Link Real Madrid in the caption.
I'm not a basketball editor so this is more of a query, should the Atlanta Hawks be listed under his career history as he was selected by the team before being traded? Or would he not have signed a contract with them? What's the normal procedure with this type of situation, if there is one?
- Taking this over for User:Toiletpaper101 upon request. Generally, the Hawks should not be listed under career history because he never played for them. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 23:32, 2 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

"he is considered one of the best international prospects of his generation.", I'm always wary about statements like this. I think this could do with at least a couple of strong sources to support it.
- Are three sources enough? ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 23:32, 2 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Link Liga ACB and EuroLeague.

Early life

Unlink Slovenia, per WP:OVERLINK no real significant relevance to the subject.
What makes his mother's salon prestigious? Unless there's a major reason why I think this is unnecessary WP:PUFFERY.
What is "Ljubljana's inner circle"?
As Doncic is Slovenian, the article should use football rather than soccer.

Youth career

"When Dončić was an eight-year-old", change to "When Dončić was eight".
"under head coach Jernej Smolnikar", is Smolnikar notable? This is a pretty long sentence as it is and if he has no page to link to and isn't notable then I don't think it's adding anything to the page.
"Dončić often requested his parents to practice", I think this could do with rewording it's sounding a bit odd and seems like he was practicing with his parents.
As Dončić is European, shouldn't his article be using honour rather than honor?
Unlink Real Madrid in the third paragraph, already linked in the paragraph above.
Unlink soccer in the third paragraph, already linked previously, and again change to football.
Unlink Spanish, per WP:OVERLINK.

Early years

Last sentence of the first paragraph is unsourced.
"being the youngest player of the league", should that be in the league?
"Making him the eleventh-youngest player to make their debut in the EuroLeague since the 2000–01 season.", this sentence would need to be linked to the previous in its current form. If it's a standalone sentence, perhaps "His appearance made him..."?
I would also think about rewording the sentence to "eleventh-youngest debutant..." to try and cut the size of that link.
Use Performance Rating Index (PIR) for the first usage.

2016-17 season

"in the round 11" > in round 11.
Unlink PIR, linked in previous paragraph.
"in the win of Real Madrid against Montakit Fuenlabrada, by a score of 92–76", this sentence is overcomplicated somewhat. "In Real Madrid's 92-76 victory against Montakit Fuenlabrada" perhaps?
"In Round 13", does Round need the capital letter here?

2017-18 season

"During the month of October" > During October.
Unlink EuroLeague MVP of the Round, already linked previously.
Unlink PIR, already linked previously.
"Dončić recorded a career-high 33 points, in Real Madrid's EuroLeague game against Olympiacos Piraeus, with Real Madrid losing 92–83 in overtime, that night", again a bit overcomplicated. "In Real Madrid's 92-84 EuroLeague defeat against Olympiacos Piraeus" perhaps? Also EuroLeague is linked previously so doesn't need it here.
"Spanish Liga ACB", it's already been mentioned that Liga ACB is Spanish previously so there's no need to repeat it here.
Halfway through this section the date format used in the rest of the article is reversed, e.g. March 30 becomes 30 March. Maintain one style for consistency.
Unlink Liga ACB in the second paragraph, linked previously in the article.
"Dončić part ways with Real Madrid." > parted.

Senior national team

Last sentence of the first paragraph is unsourced.

Trophies and awards

This section is largely unsourced.

References

Ref 2 needs a publisher.
Ref 3 needs an author.
Some refs have authors with first then last names others have the reverse, stick to one style for consistency.
Same with date formats, some use for e.g. 25 January and others January 25. Stick to a consistent formatting for refs throughout the article.
- I think I fixed all of these. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 23:52, 2 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Refs 13 and 14 are just links.
Refs 20 and 29 need author, date and accessdate.
Ref 25 needs an author and accessdate.
Got these. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 00:00, 3 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Refs 27 and 28 need a date and accessdate.
Don't use all capitals even if the ref title does, per WP:ALLCAPS.
- I think I got this, am I missing anything? ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 00:00, 3 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
I've reviewed the first thirty refs from the article in the notes above and I can see that the issues above are persistent throughout the rest. I would say that you need to go through all of the refs and ensure that they are correctly and consistently formatted with authors, dates (where available) and accessdates. Also ensure to follow WP:ALLCAPS in regard to not using all capitals in refs.

That's my initial review, placed on hold for seven days. Kosack (talk) 19:35, 2 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

- I think all of your concerns have been addressed, either by me or Toiletpaper101. It is possible that I missed one or two. Please let me know. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 00:10, 3 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Nice work, that was remarkably quick. I'll go through this again as soon as I can. Kosack (talk) 05:59, 3 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Excellent work, Kosack, EDDY and Toiletpaper101. If I may add, the Trophies and Awards section lists a lot of very minor awards for his youth years (MVP in unofficial tournaments, for instance). These are unreferenced and I think it would be very difficult to find reliable sources since, as I said, they are very minor. I think we should remove those.--Gorpik (talk) 06:44, 3 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]
- Trophies and Awards section is not needed, as all notable awards or titles have been listed in the infobox already. I have deleted it, so the problem should be taken care of. Runningibis (talk) 15:55, 3 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Editorofthewiki: @Toiletpaper101: as the nominator and substantial contributors, do you have any objections to Runningibis's honour removal? Kosack (talk) 16:02, 3 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I have no objections myself. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 16:22, 3 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Editorofthewiki: I'm happy that all of the above issues have been rectified. I've performed a minor copyedit but nothing really of note was required. I believe this now meets the required GA criteria, promoting. Nice work. Kosack (talk) 19:00, 4 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]