Talk:Ludwigsburg Palace/GA1
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA Review
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Reviewer: Farang Rak Tham (talk · contribs) 11:54, 16 July 2018 (UTC)
Introduction and limitations
[edit]Before starting this review, I'd like to state that I have little knowledge on the subject. So I am reviewing this as an outsider.
Overview
[edit]This article has obviously been a huge undertaking by someone fascinated by the subject. The main contributor and nominator has assessed the article himself at level B—this appears warranted (though normally another editor would have to do this assessment).
- 1. Prose:
- No copyright violations.
- Well-written and interesting. Reads a bit rough at times though, though not too often. Below I will do a detailed review.
- 2. MOS:
Though not required for GA, it seems a bit unusual to me that the article has no infobox.What is required for GA is that external links should contain a short description (e.g. "An informative website outlining the basics ...")
- 3. References layout:
There are some dead links, which you might want to replace, or mark as {{dead link}}.References can be identified though, as they are well-formatted. Some references such as Littell's book are not actually used in the article and had best be removed from the reference list. - 4. Reliable sources: Sources are reliable.
- 5. Original research: None found.
- 6. Broadness: Yes.
- 7. Focus:
Readable prose size is 69 kB, which is larger than usual for a Wikipedia article. Please trim certain less relevant parts of the article. Some guidelines such as WP:SPLITTING suggest a 50 kB maximum for general subject matter. - 8. Neutral: Yes.
- 9. Stable: article is stable.
- 10-11. Pics: Are relevant.
I am unfamiliar with the panorama photo format at the end of the article. Is it possible to add a a caption to that? It doesn't have any yet.- I added US tags to some pictures.
Do you know the date of the map at File:Residenzschloss Ludwigsburg floorplan.jpg, on which File:Residenzschloss Ludwigsburg floorplan (numbered).jpg is based?commons:File:Stamp Germany 2004 MiNr2398 Schloss Ludwigsburg.jpg should be deleted from the article until its copyright status becomes more certain. Although you can try re-uploading it on the English wikipedia as a form of fair usage.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 13:27, 16 July 2018 (UTC)
Reviewee checklist
[edit]- w00t
- Originally, I used an infobox and was a straight-laced infobox crusader. But after studying FA-quality Historic Houses articles, I decided that no infobox would look more aesthetically pleasing and fitted the context as a country palace...inside a city. Huh.
- What suits you.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 20:29, 16 July 2018 (UTC)
- Added collapsible infobox and axed "Location." Result: Less prose, infobox. –Vami_IV✠ 08:16, 21 July 2018 (UTC)
- 2.1. Added an External links section as mandated by the Manual of Style. –Vami_IV✠ 15:02, 16 July 2018 (UTC)
- What suits you.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 20:29, 16 July 2018 (UTC)
- 3.
Dammit, I thought I got all those when I reformatted the Schloss Favorite section and rewrote the garden one. I'll post an update here when I kill or tag the remaining ones.- 3.1 Done Fixed all but one of these, axed the one I couldn't. –Vami_IV✠ 07:21, 17 July 2018 (UTC)
- 4. Glad to hear it
- 5. w00t
- 6. Yeah, about that...
- 7. There will probably be a lot of fluff-shaving in this review.
- 8. w00t
- 9. huh
- 10–11. But unfortunately not always of the highest quality or of interesting parts, like the Marble Hall.
- 10.1. I apparently goofed the syntax for that template - the caption exists now! The ending panorama was taken from the German version of the article. I thought it was too good to not use and formed a nice transitional piece of eye candy to separate prose and eye-meltingly long citation and reference section.
- 10.2. Thanks!
- 10.3. No. I will do my best to find out. The "source," the tumblr blog I got it from, posted neither.
- 10.4. Found it.
So what is the year? Please add it to the original picture page on Commons, because it pertains to lapse of copyright.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 20:29, 16 July 2018 (UTC)Overlooked.
- 10.5. Ahhh crap. I'll probably just remove the picture because uploading pictures to Wikipedia/Commons scares and confuses me.
X –Vami_IV✠ 15:02, 16 July 2018 (UTC)
- Lol, okay.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 20:29, 16 July 2018 (UTC)
Detailed review per section
[edit]I will continue with a detailed review per section. Feel free to insert replies or inquiries. To keep communication to the point, you might want to use templates like Done, Doing..., Not done, Removed, Added, and Fixed. Please do not cross out my comments, as I will not yours but only my own. I will do the review of the lead mostly at the end.
Location
[edit]Although the Marchbacher Straße forms the northern edge of the primary palace, Schloss Favorite lies to its north.
How does this contradict?- Done Reduced to
The Marchbacher Straße forms the northern edge of the residential palace grounds.
–Vami_IV✠ 13:58, 16 July 2018 (UTC)
- Done Reduced to
The latitudinal and longitudinal location of the palace proper is 48°54′0″N 9°11′45″ECoordinates: 48°54′0″N 9°11′45″E, or 48.9, 9.195833.
Redundant, already mentioned in the hat.- Done Abbreviated. I had copied this from Bramshill House, apparently poorly. –Vami_IV✠ 14:02, 16 July 2018 (UTC)
- I meant that the coordinates already appear in the {{Location map}} template, and need not be mentioned in the body of the text.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 20:50, 16 July 2018 (UTC)
- Right, axed. –Vami_IV✠ 04:36, 17 July 2018 (UTC)
Background
[edit]tasked his then court architect Matthias Weiss, a military architect, with the construction of a new lustschloss
... at the same location?- Done Amended. –Vami_IV✠ 14:09, 16 July 2018 (UTC)
began constructing a simple three-story manor, whose cornerstone was laid down by the Duke himself, but was interrupted
whose refers to the manor, but was interrupted refers to the construction process. Please simplify sentence.- Done Axed the cornerstone part and the word "simple."
Dreaming of an absolutist Württemberg
Try to avoid wikilinks from being right next to each other without any punctuation to separate them. See Wikipedia:SEAOFBLUE.- Done Now reads,
Dreaming of his own absolutist state,
–Vami_IV✠ 14:09, 16 July 2018 (UTC)
- Done Now reads,
the building of this city
Where does this city refer to?- Done Changed "this city" to "a city." –Vami_IV✠ 14:21, 16 July 2018 (UTC)
was assured by
,Further incentives were made
By who?- Done Name-dropped the Duke in the sentence, made from the original two. –Vami_IV✠ 14:21, 16 July 2018 (UTC)
Construction
[edit]Duke Eberhard Louis elected to send theologian and mathematician Philipp Joseph Jenisch ...
Shouldn't this be "... elected theologian ..."?- Done Replaced with "sent." –Vami_IV✠ 03:33, 18 July 2018 (UTC)
Nette completed the shell of the Old Hauptbau in 1708, the galleries in 1707, ...
Shouldn't this be told chronologically?- Done
but also in the populace
Split off in a separate sentence, because it is confusing.- Done
There appears to be an edit scar:The populace also one pastor ...
--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 13:03, 19 July 2018 (UTC)
while the Ordensbau and the Riesenbau were constructed from 1708 to 1713 ...
Better stick to active voice to make clear who did what.
(This Nette guy is really a sad story, by the way.)- * Done Amended. –Vami_IV✠ 05:46, 18 July 2018 (UTC)
This does not appear to have been done?Absorbing the work of Weiss and Jenisch, the Ordensbau was constructed from 1709 to 1713 and the Riesenbau from 1712 and into the next year.
--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 13:03, 19 July 2018 (UTC)- Done x2. Added
absorbing Weiss and Jenisch's lustschloss
–Vami_IV✠ 04:08, 20 July 2018 (UTC)You prefer not to use active voice?--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 14:57, 22 July 2018 (UTC)
- Done x2. Added
Jenisch sought to reprise his position as building director following Nette's death, but he faced competition from one of Nette's recruits. Donato Frisoni, an Italian plasterer from Laino with no formal architectural training, submitted an application for the position that was ignored by the building authority, as it was aligned with Jenisch.
This is a bit confusing because it seems that Donato Frisoni is the person whereone of Nette's recruits
refers to. Then when the reader is at the end of this part, it seems as though Donato Frisoni was the indirect way in which Jenisch sought to reprise his position. Is that what you mean? If not, please rewrite a bit.- Done That is what I meant, but I rewrote it anyways. –Vami_IV✠ 06:33, 18 July 2018 (UTC)
Frisoni based his plans ...
Lots of and ... and ... and. Split a bit please.- Done
Kavaliersbaut
Wikilink or define inline please.- Done
Is it possible to move the floor plan upward to this section, so readers can understand which part of the building is where?--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 13:03, 19 July 2018 (UTC)
- I don't think that would fit. I could provide a link to that subsection for ease of reading, though. –Vami_IV✠ 07:00, 20 July 2018 (UTC)
- Sounds good.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 14:57, 22 July 2018 (UTC)
- Map has been moved to "History." –Vami_IV✠ 00:02, 30 July 2018 (UTC)
Use as a residence
[edit]dismissed the construction staff to modernize the Duchy's army and fortifications
You mean replaced them?- Nope; they were sacked. Hopefully the rewrite better conveys this. –Vami_IV✠ 06:08, 20 July 2018 (UTC)
on fraudulent charges of embezzlement as a retaliation against the years of competition at court.
They competed with Karl Alexander?- Done Rewrote. –Vami_IV✠ 06:08, 20 July 2018 (UTC)
The Duke's unpopular court Jew, ...
How is this related to the subject of the article?- Done Axed the entire section. –Vami_IV✠ 06:08, 20 July 2018 (UTC)
as he began residing ...
You mean the architect?- Done
making no more modifications to the palace from 1770 onward
You mean the Ludwigsburg Palace?- Done
The palace again relinquished its status as the Duke's residence to Stuttgart in 1775
When was the first time?- Karl Alexander moved the capital to Stuttgart in 1733. "Use as a residence," paragraph one, sentence two. –Vami_IV✠ 06:14, 20 July 2018 (UTC)
- Forgive me my ignorance, but obtaining or relinquishing the status of Duke's residence is the same as the status of capital, right?--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 15:21, 22 July 2018 (UTC)
- Well, the Duke couldn't live in two cities at the same time. Eberhard Louis spent his summers at Ludwigsburg, but he established the city as the capital of the Duchy in 1718 ("Background," last sentence of paragraph two). It remained the capital until Karl Alexander moved it back to Stuttgart in 1733, then his son Charles returned it to Ludwigsburg for another 20 or so years before ermanently establishing himself in Stuttgart in the 1770s. –Vami_IV✠ 19:09, 22 July 2018 (UTC)
- Sure, of course.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 11:53, 29 July 2018 (UTC)
He disliked the Baroque interiors and Goethe described them as "in bad taste."
How is this relevant?- Done Axed. –Vami_IV✠ 06:59, 20 July 2018 (UTC)
King William I
Was he the successor of Frederick I? Please introduce him a bit.- Done I didn't add much, but now the reader knows that William I was Frederick's son and heir. –Vami_IV✠ 06:59, 20 July 2018 (UTC)
Later history
[edit]Isn't this a subsection of the history section?
- Is now. –Vami_IV✠ 19:29, 22 July 2018 (UTC)
In 1918, after the First World War ...
Sentence too long, please trim.
- Done Trimmed. –Vami_IV✠ 19:13, 22 July 2018 (UTC)
that continue to the modern day
Specify time period per WP:WTW.
- Done Axed instead. –Vami_IV✠ 22:57, 22 July 2018 (UTC)
series of music festivals ... conducted anywhere from six to ten concerts
Festivals don't conduct concerts, please rewrite.
- Done Wound up rewriting the whole paragraph –Vami_IV✠ 22:57, 22 July 2018 (UTC)
- Nicely done.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 08:48, 23 July 2018 (UTC)
In 1991, the decision was made as the state archives left Ludwigsburg to turn the palace as a museum complex was made because the 1959 "Höfische Baroque Art" Museum housed at the palace
Cryptic, please rewrite.
- Done Rereading that made my head hurt. –Vami_IV✠ 23:38, 22 July 2018 (UTC)
of the group Ulm Klötzlebauer
Confusing wikilink of the place, better remove and perhaps redlink the entire name.
- Done
What'sKinderreich
?
- Done Removed. –Vami_IV✠ 01:57, 23 July 2018 (UTC)
Editz Sitzmann visited the palace to see the painting and restored piece of King Frederick I's furniture and to attend a press conference, speaking about the cultural important of Ludwigsburg Palace
First of all, the grammar of the sentence is odd, especially the underlined parts. Secondly, it reads as though the furniture was restored during her visit.
- Done Rewrote. –Vami_IV✠ 17:17, 23 July 2018 (UTC)
Also in November, on the nights of the 16th and 17th ... The Afterlove Tour
This part is less relevant, maybe just briefly mention that there are concerts of notable singers or something along those lines. Same holds for last paragraph: summarize please.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 16:38, 22 July 2018 (UTC)
- Done Axed. –Vami_IV✠ 17:17, 23 July 2018 (UTC)
Porcelain manufactory
[edit]This section is better written than the previous section.
to place pressure on the Handelscompagnie
You mean he set up a competing group, right?
- Done No; fixed now. –Vami_IV✠ 19:02, 23 July 2018 (UTC)
who worked at the Ludwigsburg Porcelain Manufactory for 20 years
... who would work?
- Done
of Meissen's manufactory
Not quite sure where this refers to.
Since 1780, designs had begun moving
You mean in the porcelain industry, or do you refer to the manufactory?
- Done Yes; fixed now. –Vami_IV✠ 19:02, 23 July 2018 (UTC)
Still not quite clear if you refer to the industry as a whole.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 11:59, 29 July 2018 (UTC)
- how bout now –Vami_IV✠ 23:34, 29 July 2018 (UTC)
Architecture
[edit]How did you determine what part is history and what part is architecture? The section reads much like a history section.
- I figured it was an architectural history, but it's still history. I've abbreviated that history into the new second paragraph now. –Vami_IV✠ 14:22, 24 July 2018 (UTC)
at previous projects.[c]
Try to avoid hiding citations in notes. Better show the citations inline as well.
- Done Citation now located in front of that note. –Vami_IV✠ 23:23, 23 July 2018 (UTC)
- I couldn't retrace it, so I understand that you have deleted the note entirely.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 12:05, 29 July 2018 (UTC)
An example of this influence ...
Three and's in a row. Please simplify or split off.
- Done Split and reduced. –Vami_IV✠ 23:23, 23 July 2018 (UTC)
The interiors are a mix of different Late Baroque influences, with illustrations by Paul Decker the Elder, Nicodemus Tessin the Elder, and Daniel Marot, whose work Duke Eberhard Louis was familiar with, that bear some resemblance to Ludwigsburg's ribbonwork (Bandlwerkstil) decor.
Confusing, please simplify.
Placed in parentheses (I try to avoid that in my writing because I'm used to abusing them)–Vami_IV✠ 23:23, 23 July 2018 (UTC)
- Done Actually fixed this time. –Vami_IV✠ 23:26, 23 July 2018 (UTC)
Neoclassical of Ludwigsburg
Did you omit a word here?
- Done Not anymore. –Vami_IV✠ 23:23, 23 July 2018 (UTC)
as a result, the Neoclassical of Ludwigsburg, inspired by the work of Charles Percier and Pierre François Léonard Fontaine, the Renaissance, and Egyptian motifs that became popular with Napoleon's three-year campaign there, the Neoclassical interiors of Ludwigsburg Palace are not consistent to a single style or designer.[1]
Grammar is off, please check. I think you need to add a verb or two.
- Done I think I've fixed it now. –Vami_IV✠ 14:22, 24 July 2018 (UTC)
The kitchen staff, also responsible for the lighting and heating of the palace,[2] fed the stoves and fireplaces of the palatial suites with wood brought from the Black Forest, which also warmed the servant quarters in the attic via ducts from the stoves below. Beyond thickening the windows with more glass and putting up cotton wallpaper, residents of the palace resorted to wearing thicker clothes and consuming warm drinks, primarily coffee and hot chocolate.[3]
How is this relevant?--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 22:45, 23 July 2018 (UTC)
- Done Another ax swing. –Vami_IV✠ 02:16, 24 July 2018 (UTC)
References
Old Hauptbau
[edit]This section is generally well-written.
- Just a note: that hidden staircase to a secret lover is hilarious. There's your DYK, by the way.
Today, Eberhard Louis's suite appears as it would have during his reign
andthough none of the original decor survives
seem to contradict. Am I missing something?
- Done Yes and no, but I think I fixed the issue. –Vami_IV✠ 23:51, 23 July 2018 (UTC)
Most of Donato Frisoni and Tomasso Soldati's stuccoes, depicting biblical and classical historical and mythological motifs alongside an image of Eberhard Louis and his monogram, was lost and the gallery was subdivided into offices until its restoration from 2000 to 2004.
The clause in the middle is awkward, please simplify.
- Done
- The clause in the middle is still there, but I will allow a bit of "Baroq" language.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 12:09, 29 July 2018 (UTC)
At the end of the Western Gallery is the Jagdpavillon ...
Shorten or split off please, it is too long.
- Done
Above each of the doors are more stucco reliefs, ...
Similar problem.
- Done Broken into two sentences. –Vami_IV✠ 14:32, 24 July 2018 (UTC)
East wing
[edit]The vestibule, designed and executed ...
Sentence too long, split please.
- Done Reduced and split. –Vami_IV✠ 22:25, 24 July 2018 (UTC)
The chapel is a classical ...
Similar.
- Done
The denomination of the Schlosskapelle ...
How does a building change a denomination?
- Said building is a church. As is explained, the building in question (Schlosskapelle) changed denomination depending on who was Duke. –Vami_IV✠ 22:25, 24 July 2018 (UTC)
- You fixed this, it reads better now.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 12:12, 29 July 2018 (UTC)
(Cavaliers' Building)
Please move gloss upwards to first instance of the word.
- Done
- Though not relevant for GA, you should be aware that a term does not need to be wikilinked each time you mention it in the article, but just the first time. Common words like coffee, tea, wine or beer need not be wikilinked, nor do country names, per WP:OVERLINKING.
West wing
[edit]Well-written.
Many sentences are quite lengthy, but the sentenceColomba painted the walls ...
is a little over the top.
- Done
Johann Friedrich von Uffenbach ...
Redlinked people need to be introduced, because there is no wikilink to help explain.
- Done
- I think you removed him from the article. Poor Johann.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 12:15, 29 July 2018 (UTC)
It was in the Order Hall that the constitutions of the Kingdom and then Free People's State of Württemberg in 1819 and 1919 respectively
You missed a verb there.
- Done Good catch! I tend to forget words. –Vami_IV✠ 02:53, 26 July 2018 (UTC)
The Festinbau, attached ...
A bit too long.
- Done Not anymore, hopefully. –Vami_IV✠ 02:53, 26 July 2018 (UTC)
but also meant that food arrived cold despite the small ovens along the way intended to keep it warm
Less relevant.
- Text and accompanying reference banished to the shadow realm. –Vami_IV✠ 02:53, 26 July 2018 (UTC)
- The first Wiki article ever that wikilinks apple.
- OK so maybe I have a wikilink addiction... –Vami_IV✠ 02:36, 26 July 2018 (UTC)
- There's a lot of detail in these architecture subsections, you should start here when you begin trimming the article.
- I had alluded to that when I mentioned trimming in the response checklist. –Vami_IV✠ 02:53, 26 July 2018 (UTC)
New Hauptbau
[edit]Frisoni planning began ...
Looks like an editing scar.
- Done Rewrote and shortened. –Vami_IV✠ 03:15, 26 July 2018 (UTC)
Over a decade later in 1747, Duke Charles Eugene resumed construction in the New Hauptbau, left incomplete after Eberhard Louis's death, and completed its interiors in Rococo
The clause in the middle is confusing.
- Done Rewrote and shortened. –Vami_IV✠ 03:15, 26 July 2018 (UTC)
A vaulted passageway ...
andPilasters and windows ...
, as well asFriedrich von Thouret ...
andPast the conference room ...
Too long sentences.
- Done Split a lot of firewood. Probably more to chop. –Vami_IV✠ 06:53, 26 July 2018 (UTC)
The Queen's staircase is a mirror ...
Minerva is not really a virtue.
- Done
von Thouret's designed in September 1815 ...
... von Thouret's design?
- Done oof –Vami_IV✠ 05:05, 26 July 2018 (UTC)
installing a curved ceiling that Jean Pernaux painted the spring of 1815
Grammar is a little off, i think you are missing a preposition here.
- Done forgot; I fixed this –Vami_IV✠ 06:39, 26 July 2018 (UTC)
the top the walls
the top of the walls?
- Done OOF –Vami_IV✠ 05:05, 26 July 2018 (UTC)
For the final, modest rooms of the suite, chief among the new writing room featuring Sappho in relief on a fireplace, were also remodeled in 1808–09 according to Frederick's exact instructions, which called for the division of one room into two for more fireplaces.
This sentence reads a little confusing.
Wound up just removing this–Vami_IV✠ 06:56, 26 July 2018 (UTC)
- Wound up just keeping this but rewriting it. –Vami_IV✠ 07:05, 26 July 2018 (UTC)
--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 19:47, 29 July 2018 (UTC)installing a new, curved one
What does one refer to? Is that the ceiling you mentioned before?
- Done Oops, that was an edit scar. Fixed now. –Vami_IV✠ 23:32, 29 July 2018 (UTC)
Grounds and gardens
[edit]- Main article hat is a redlink, which is highly unusual.
- Hasn't been translated from German yet. –Vami_IV✠ 06:40, 27 July 2018 (UTC)
- I am not certain whether an Interlanguage link is allowed in this case. Try asking at Wikipedia talk:Manual of Style/Layout.
Other additions, ...
andFrank approved ...
Many and's in a row.
- Done Splits and commas. &dnash;Vami_IV✠ 06:40, 27 July 2018 (UTC)
In the farthest east portion of the gardens is the Fairy Tale Garden German: Märchengarten
The German was already given above, no need to repeat.
- Removed. –Vami_IV✠ 06:31, 27 July 2018 (UTC)
- This sentence has now been removed.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 20:03, 29 July 2018 (UTC)
The Fairy Tale Garden faced some opposition ...
Why?
- Done My source didn't say, so I removed this. –Vami_IV✠ 06:31, 27 July 2018 (UTC)
- The caption below the little garden maps is aligned to the right, which make it look isolated and floating on my screen. Shouldn't it be aligned to the left?
- Weird. They were centered using an HTML command. How do they look now that I've removed them? –Vami_IV✠ 06:31, 27 July 2018 (UTC)
- There still is a caption that says Figure: Map that is floating at the right. I don't think it is a problem for GA, though.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 20:03, 29 July 2018 (UTC)
- Done Ohhhh, that! That's the gallery template "footer" parameter." I've gone ahead and removed it since I never refer to it in the article prose. –Vami_IV✠ 23:06, 29 July 2018 (UTC)
--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 20:06, 29 July 2018 (UTC)for its 250th birthday
For whose birthday?
- Done Whoops. –Vami_IV✠ 23:31, 29 July 2018 (UTC)
Schloss Favorite
[edit]whose premiere Eberhard Louis had been a guest to in 1743 in Berlin.
Relevance?
and can be reimagined even after later modifications because of Frisoni's remaining artworks
Two and's in a row, and a little cryptic.
- This and the next sentence have been obliterated. –Vami_IV✠ 06:34, 27 July 2018 (UTC)
extensive plans for its grounds, survived only by the road to the main palace
Survived is not quite used in such a case, please rephrase.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 20:54, 29 July 2018 (UTC)
Museums
[edit]It amazes me they actually have museums for children.
(German: Modemuseum)
and(German: Junge Bühne)
Redundant, the German was already given.
- Removed. –Vami_IV✠ 06:35, 27 July 2018 (UTC)
- But now you removed them all.
On the ground floor of the New Hauptbau is the lapidarium ...
I thought you said there were just two museums.
- Maintained by the Landesmuseum Württemberg. –Vami_IV✠ 06:35, 27 July 2018 (UTC)
- Sorry, my fault.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 20:17, 29 July 2018 (UTC)
Lead
[edit]- The sentences
In totality, construction cost the Duchy of Württemberg 3,000,000 florins
andIn 2016, the palace attracted some 330,000 visitors and brought as many as 311,000 by October 2017
should also be mentioned in the body of the text, because they can be easily integrated. The citations can then be removed.
- Done Removed to "Construction" and "Later history," but I kept the 2016 visitor figure in the lead. Citations were removed. –Vami_IV✠ 23:30, 29 July 2018 (UTC)
Nice work. Note though, that the stat of the 330,000 visitors is mentioned twice in the lead.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 07:18, 30 July 2018 (UTC)
- The last paragraph is quite specific (not a summary), and should be in the body of the text, not in the lead. You can continue summarizing the article, and put another paragraph there instead.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 21:03, 29 July 2018 (UTC)
Done I have moved the entirety of that paragraph to "Later history." –Vami_IV✠ 23:30, 29 July 2018 (UTC)
Please expand the lead a little. The lead is a little too small for such a huge article.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 07:18, 30 July 2018 (UTC)
- I have added a 'lil bit of text and removed that double visitors figure. –Vami_IV✠ 18:47, 30 July 2018 (UTC)
- Expand some more, please. Don't be shy. --Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 20:47, 30 July 2018 (UTC)
- Did a rewrite; standing at three paragraphs now. –Vami_IV✠ 16:01, 31 July 2018 (UTC)
July 2018
[edit]I will continue my review after you have responded to most of these comments.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 13:27, 16 July 2018 (UTC)
I hope you don't mind the slow speed we're going. I am just not familiar with the subject material at all.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 22:47, 23 July 2018 (UTC)
- Wait, this is a slow review? –Vami_IV✠ 23:33, 23 July 2018 (UTC)
- Lol. Well, we're over seven days.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 15:41, 24 July 2018 (UTC)
- Having read the article, i am impressed by the efforts that you have put into this, and the ability to paint a picture of a time and age in which detail and refinement was more common than now. I have finished the detailed review. I will check your corrections and also review the lead later, once you have addressed all the comments and have trimmed the article sufficiently.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 07:58, 26 July 2018 (UTC)
- @Farang Rak Tham: I have shaved some ~2000 words from the article and done a bit of splitting. I have also addressed all your comments. Advise? –Vami_IV✠ 08:10, 28 July 2018 (
- Having read the article, i am impressed by the efforts that you have put into this, and the ability to paint a picture of a time and age in which detail and refinement was more common than now. I have finished the detailed review. I will check your corrections and also review the lead later, once you have addressed all the comments and have trimmed the article sufficiently.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 07:58, 26 July 2018 (UTC)
- Lol. Well, we're over seven days.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 15:41, 24 July 2018 (UTC)
- First of all, there are still some dead links not marked as such (or perhaps you have provided an incorrect url)—check the links marked in blue as well. E.g. this link is dead.
- The article has a readable prose size of 60 kB, which is still too large for this subject matter. I am afraid more needs to be trimmed. Perhaps another subarticle could be considered, if you feel it is waste to trim more.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 11:51, 29 July 2018 (UTC)
- Acting on this, I've gone and swung my ax like it was going out of style. We're sitting at 50 kB (exactly 8300 words as of time of writing). There might be a little bit left to cut, but at this point I don't think it would change much. As for links, I removed The Met and that movie guides thing in my rampage. I've fixed the Ludwigsburg Museum links (turns out they rebuilt their website), but all the other links in blue work. Except for the Finance ministry ones, as their website is currently down for maintenance. –Vami_IV✠ 18:16, 29 July 2018 (UTC)
- A German website down for maintenance? I guess miracles still exist. Must be a glitch in grundlichkeit.
- Good work with the trim! I'll get back to you today.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 18:33, 29 July 2018 (UTC)
- There are a few comments above that have not been addressed yet. Look for the sections not crossed out in the table of contents, and then the parts that are underlined. Now I will review the lead.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 20:19, 29 July 2018 (UTC) Reviewed.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 21:04, 29 July 2018 (UTC)
- All criteria are met now. I'm passing for GA. Congratulations! Let me know if you do a DYK nomination, and if you're available, please review a GA nomination of mine at WP:GAN#REL.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 09:27, 1 August 2018 (UTC)
- Thank you for conducting this lengthy and very thorough review! I have nominated the article for DYK and will now do some quid pro quo. –Vami_IV✠ 17:30, 1 August 2018 (UTC)
GA Progress
[edit]Good Article review progress box
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