Talk:Lou Midler

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Lou Midler/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: PCN02WPS (talk · contribs) 17:17, 23 October 2023 (UTC)

Seeing as the WikiCup will soon be drawing to a close, I thought I'd try to help out a bit, so I'll review this one. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 17:17, 23 October 2023 (UTC)

Sorry this has taken me so long, comments below:

Early life

• Full name should be repeated and cited
  • Done.
• "and is their only alumni" → "alumni" is plural; this should be "their only alumnus" or "is the only one of their alumni" but I recommend the first
  • Changed.
• "alternated at every position" → "alternated" gives the impression that he was going back and forth and repeating positions; as far as I can tell the source just says that he played everywhere except C and QB
  • Changed to played. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 22:32, 13 December 2023 (UTC)
• "being named an all-city selection" → switch to present tense after the rest of the sentence is past tense
  • Changed all to past tense. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 22:32, 13 December 2023 (UTC)

College career

• "He had previously, when in high school, went to" → to me, "went" doesn't fit with the start of this sentence, which without the appositive would be "He had previously went to..." - I would recommend changing "went" to "gone" or otherwise removing "had", that way you either have "He previously went to..." or "He had previously gone..."
  • Changed.
• "The trainer didn't take him seriously" → MOS:CONTRACTIONS recommends avoiding contractions
  • Changed.
• "as well as the "best punter at Minnesota since Clarence Munn."" → move full stop outside of the quotes per MOS:LQ
  • Fixed.
• "A 60-minute man in some games" → non-football fans are not likely to know what "60-minute man" means, and even as a football fan myself I've never heard the phrase (though I can figure out what it means rather easily)
  • Added the term to Glossary of American football terms and linked it.
• "compile a record of 7–1" → recommend formatting the record with {{Win-loss record}} for ease of people not super familiar with football/sports
  • Done. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 22:32, 13 December 2023 (UTC)

Professional career

• "of the 1938 NFL Draft by the Pittsburgh Pirates, but spent that year coaching" → remove comma (see User:Sammi Brie/Commas in sentences for an excellent resource that has made me much better with commas)
  • Done. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 22:32, 13 December 2023 (UTC)

Later life

• "Midler died on August 29, 1992" → comma after "1992" per MOS:DATECOMMA
  • Added.

That's all I've got, nice work! PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 17:21, 30 October 2023 (UTC)

BeanieFan11. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 13:33, 9 November 2023 (UTC)

Sorry for taking so long to get to this - I didn't have this on my watchlist so I didn't see it until I got this ping today. I'll try to work on it soon. BeanieFan11 (talk) 01:39, 10 November 2023 (UTC)

@BeanieFan11 reminder ping - no rush getting to this, just wanted to make sure you haven't forgotten. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 17:04, 30 November 2023 (UTC)

@BeanieFan11 and PCN02WPS: if you are not opposed, I am happy to take over finishing this nomination (if you are too busy BeanieFan11). « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 20:03, 13 December 2023 (UTC)

@Gonzo fan2007: Sure, you can take it if you like. BeanieFan11 (talk) 21:01, 13 December 2023 (UTC)

PCN02WPS, I believe I have addressed the remaining items that were open. Please let me know if you have any follow-up comments. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 22:32, 13 December 2023 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.