Talk:Looking 4 Myself/GA2

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: WikiRedactor (talk · contribs) 19:32, 20 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Toolserver found several links that must be corrected.

Done

Introduction

"That is still relevant in the [current] era of music" could become "that remained relevant to the music of the time".

Done

Swap positions of third and fourth paragraphs.

Done

Background

"The album is the follow-up to Usher's Grammy Award-winning album Raymond v. Raymond (2010), which was a commercial success and received mixed reviews. Usher's seventh studio album was originally rumoured to be under the title The Shanertance, though on March 23, 2012 Usher refuted the rumour on his Twitter account, writing "I'm not feeling the name of my new album, The Shanetance?? Where in the hell did this come from?? LMAO. Don't believe everything you hear!" is a bit lengthy and could be summed up in a sentence of two like "In 2010, Usher released his sixth studio album Raymond v. Raymond to a mixed critical response and commercial success; the project went on to earn two Grammy Awards at the 2011 ceremony. His follow-up record was originally rumored to be titled The Shanetance and due for release on March 23, 2012, though Usher later refuted the speculation."

Done

"Because it sums up Usher's hiatus, on his 'musical journey'" reword as "as it described Usher's 'musical journey'.

Done

Recording

"Usher announced some of the producers involved on Looking 4 Myself on March 30, 2012. This included Diplo, Rico Love, Jim Jonsin, Salaam Remi and Max Martin" should be condensed to "Diplo, Rico Love, Jim Jonsin, Salaam Remi, and Max Martin were the first producers confirmed forn Looking 4 Myself in March 2012."

Done

I personally stay away from using contractions, but that's simply my preference.
"Ever since" remove "ever".

Done

"Due to schedule conflict" should be "due to a scheduling conflict" in both the body text and the David Guetta caption.

Done

Music

Rename to "Composition".

Done

I don't see the need for subheads in this section, since it's not particularly large.

Done

"He is working" should be "he was working".

Done

"It is comparable to a pop sound, in the sense of what is currently relevant, which he would more appropriately depict as a "relevant sound" or "relevant music" is oddly worded, try something like "The album incorporates pop styles, which Usher described as being "relevant" to the times and "what [people are] listening to".

Done

"Based on "what people really want to hear and what they're listening to [...] it's about relevant music" should be removed, it doesn't add anything to the above statement.

Done

Elaborate a little as to what exactly the triple-entendre in the song is.

Done

[Usher's] remove brackets.

Done

"First of the two" should be "the first of the two".

Done

"Its lyric's message" moved apostrophe to after the 's'.

Done

Promotion

Relocate section after "Singles".

Done

Remove first subhead, leave the one for "Tour".

Done

Remove tweet about listening party, it doesn't add anything to the article.

Done

"Usher will perform in countries" should be "Usher planned to perform in countries".

Done

"In partnership with Live Nation Global Touring, the tour would commence on January 18, 2013 in Amsterdam, Netherlands and conclude on March 14, 2013 in Nice, France." adjust to "was to commence" and "would have concluded".

Done

Rita Ora was to be an opening act.

Done

Mention that he became a judge on The Voice during the fourth season for a bit more background.

Done

Singles

"On February 14, 2012 the album's lead single "Climax" was leaked, and digitally released on February 22, 2012." to "The album's lead single "Climax" was leaked on February 14, 2012 and digitally released on February 22."

Done

"The music video for "Climax" repeated use of the song title, try "the accompanying music video".

Done

"Savan Kotecha Max Martin" to "Savan Kotecha and Max Martin".

Done

"Featuring rapper Rick Ross" to "features rapper Rick Ross, and was..."

Done

"with Philip Andelman directing it" to "and was directed by Philip Andelman."

Done

"As the fifth single" doesn't need to be set aside by commas.

Done

"Received well" to "well received".

Done

Try other phrases instead of "with praise directed" and "getting intimate with".

I substituted one of the "with praise directed", but not the others. Personally I don't think there's anything wrong with them.

There's no real issue with them, I was just suggesting to bring in some variation.

Critical reception

Remove the subhead, as three sentences on their own doesn't warrant the need for one.

Done

Commercial performance

"Day one" to "first-day".

Done

The figure was underweight

Done

"did so, selling 128,000 copies domestically in its first week" to "and did so with 128,000 first-week copies sold domestically."

Done

Pick one style for charting (either number one or number 1), but not both.

Per WP:NUMERAL, numbers 0 – 9 should be expressed in words, any 2 digit number can be expressed either way.

Aftermath

Rename to "Legacy".

Done

"Put the album's sales down to this reason, saying that Usher's core audience and fans felt alienated" reword to "credited its underwhelming sales to the "alienation" of Usher's core audience."

Done

Chart performance

Rename to "Charts", as its too similar as it is to "Commercial performance".

Done

We still have links that need to be fixed.

All the broken links have been addressed.

Overall, a solid article, though the issues listed about must be addressed before I can pass the article. I will place it on hold for one week, and check in to see how the progress is going. WikiRedactor (talk) 19:38, 21 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for reviewing. I think all the issues have been addressed. Et 3 rnal 22:21, 21 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I've looked over the changes, and am satisfied with the corrections made. I will now promote the article to GA, good work! WikiRedactor (talk) 19:47, 22 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.